There’s Always Someone Around You

Link to today’s strip.

And another strip unavailable for preview.  Of course, that’s typical for Sundays so no surprises there.  I dare say, if I may be so bold, that it has been quite some time since we last saw Funky and Les running.  Or we might just get more Dinkle.

Anyway, for my first time back in the chair in a while, let’s recall the wonders we witnessed recently during my stint:  Wally got a pizza party and Dinkle looked for food.  When your strip is just jammed full of action and adventure like that, you should certainly expect the awards to roll on in!   You’d also expect people to buy your books, not only for themselves but as gifts for others!  I mean, who wouldn’t want a boxed set of Dinkle’s entire Claude Barlow witlessisms?  Sure, maybe the Norms would balk, but they’re not on award committees so they can be ignored.  And ignored with gusto!

Well!  That’s it for me, at least for the present.  It’s time to hand off this cold, damp slice of pizza off to the Stunningly Suave SpacemanSpiff85!    He’ll focus his fearsome frap-ray blaster on the festering fools who fill Funky‘s foul fiefdom–for a fortnight!

Thank you all for your indulgence!  And now, exit–stage right!



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “There’s Always Someone Around You

  1. spacemanspiff85

    I kind of am looking forward to “The Complete Funky Winkerbean” collections catching up to the garbage Batiuk’s put out for the last five years or so. I’ve got to imagine even he’d have a hard time bullshitting enough to make these strips seem at all worthwhile in the introductions.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    I suddenly have the feeling that architecture is another in the long list of things Batiuk knows nothing about.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Or work in general. Imagine this premise playing out in real life.

      “ADEELA! How about a “system” where you fill the f*cking napkin holders without me TELLING you five hundred times! And get those protractors off the f*cking counter, this is a pizzeria, not an architecture firm.”

      Maybe after the fire Wally can hire one of his law school pals as the new day person, then replace them with one of his physical therapist friends when Funky is released from the burn unit.

  3. Rusty Shackleford

    Hmmm, well Adela got scammed by the US college system. All that money and she is doing the work of a journeyman electrician.

    And she’s got 25 years worth of student loan payments to make. Well that’s America for you!

  4. Epicus Doomus

    Is The Great Author unaware that today’s modern hi-tech supercameras have “lighting systems” built right in, primarily to compensate for things like poor pizzeria lighting? Because you know, they do. And furthermore the customers will bring their own lighting systems with them, thereby making it somewhat unnecessary to install an entire new lighting system specifically for their photography needs.

    “Montoni’s Pizzeria – one star: The food here is terrible, the service blows and there’s a dog running around the place too. And it’s a hangout for old local weirdos who’ll bend your ear all week if you let them. The one star is for the lighting system, which is incredibly well-designed. Warm, welcoming, solar-yet-diffuse…it’s like sunrise in San Tropez, only with pizza. Whoever designed that lighting system sure has a bright future here in America.”

    Look at Adeela, already costing Funky thousands of dollars in pointless upgrades. Promoting Wally angered the sad-sack gods and letting him hire Adeela just taunted them further. “Lighting system”…lol.

  5. billytheskink

    Montoni’s parking lot is certainly “right-sized”.

  6. Charles

    So she comes in and the first thing she does is propose an expensive overhaul that’s unnecessary and Funky goes along with it.

    This is going to go well.

  7. Paul Jones

    Yet again, crass stupidities such as this are waved off with the excuse that it’s writing and also, why are people so mean? It’s as if one of the requirements for membership in the National Cartoonist’s Society is extreme emotional fragility.

  8. Batiuk, If you want to say Instagram, say Instagram. Don’t make up stupid names for it. You sound like a moron!

    • spacemanspiff85

      I’m sure he sees it as a clever shot at Instagram.

    • LTPFTR

      When he’s come up with comedy gold like FleaBay, you can’t expect him to leave that motherlode alone.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      BatWit is the Queen of Cease And Desist, as all of us here are well aware. Thinks mentioning “Instagram” will send their lawyers to his door. No, literally to his door, because in Batty’s pointy little bald head, nobody writes or calls. They knock on your door unannounced like it’s 1947.

      Either that, or he has a burning need to come up with a slap-nuts hilarious nickname for EVERYTHING he dislikes or doesn’t understand.

  9. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    “Hey, so what’s this wire right here? The one that goes from the 120 volt AC supply to a box labeled ‘C4 Explosives?’ And this wire next to it that runs to something labeled ‘fuse.’ We actually use circuit breakers now, ma’am… uh, sir… uh, ma’am.”

    And by the way, why did Batyecchh choose the black electrician to stand there looking utterly confused (finger over mouth — that’s Batyuck for “confused or concerned”) trying to decipher Adillydilly’s “architectural drawings?”

    For that matter, why the Hell were two installation technicians sent to look at whatever scribblings Dilly-O is showing them? “Theez are my plahnz for the electrical lighteeng. Pleeze be feenieeshed by 5.” Seriously, what the fuck?

    And while we’re talking about this, is She-Jab Gurl hired to be their full-time, on-site architect?? Will she work a 40 hour week just redesigning stuff? I was pretty sure she was hired to do pizza joint stuff – waitressing, washing dishes, cleaning up after the jerks from the Komix store. Why don’t they just hire a full-time staff brick layer? Would make exactly as much sense.

  10. Ray

    If anyone has ever been in the “Real life Montoni’s” they’d know lighting is the least of that joints concerns! I’m assuming the owners own the building block that houses it, and they are either too greedy, or are consumed with nostalgia that the place is “quaint”.
    Because it has the most ill-conceived layout imaginable. I mean you literally have people lined up waiting to be seated next to patrons that are already eating. A line our the door waiting to get in, with parties lined up to pay and get out. This place could easily move into a larger more convenient location and not miss a step! People would still make it a destination eatery, along with the local support base.
    My family is having a birthday party there Wednesday, and I can’t wait to be asshole to elbows with the mad throngs there. ☹️

    • ian'sdrunkenbeard

      Once you do manage to find a parking spot and get inside, calm your jangled nerves by gazing upon the original TB drawings (until a waitress elbows you aside), order a salad with cheese, and get a bottle of Chianti and one glass.
      Bon appetit!

    • Rusty Shackleford

      I used to go there when I was in college. It’s old, but it isn’t good. But, my grandmother was from Italy so I had a much different idea of what Italian cooking is.