beckoningchasm

And on the Seventh Day…

Oh my God, we’re still doing food jokes? And not just any food jokes, but jokes that are so old, I remember being bored by them way back in grade school. Hey, Tom Batiuk, right back at ya:

What really wrings the neck of this attempt at humor is the bizarre…well, “continuity” for lack of a better word. For the past two days, Bernie and Thatsnaught have been standing in front of the vendos. Now, they’re still standing there, wearing the same clothes, as if only a few moments have passed between strip-days. So far so dull, but suddenly, there’s a professionally-taped notice on the vendos that was not there before. It’s like a low-budget movie where the script girl was out sick one day. “Okay, that’s a wrap, loves; gotta get this stinker in the can!”

I could imagine someone like Philip K. Dick could take this “off” situation and create something out of it…Eye In The Sky comes to mind; there’s actually a scene with a vending machine! Philip K. Dick could be quite irritating at times, but his imagination was never in doubt.

Unlike some people I could name.

Big Brother Is Watching You Eat

Link to today’s strip.

Comic Book Harriet asked a relevant question yesterday–is this vendo in the school, or the Komix Korner? We were, after all, dealing with two characters shown in the Korner in the previous day’s strip.

Well, today’s professionally taped sign gives us the answer. Although Bernie’s still wearing the same shirt as yesterday–does that mean he only has one shirt? Shades of Les Moore! (Spoilers: he seems to have two, this one and another just like it in red. I guess he alternates them seasonally.)

Other than that, it’s just another sad episode of how badly Tom Batiuk’s sense of humor has atrophied. School food, that’s always timely–but, I should shake it up somehow. He’s obviously trying, he’s even abandoned the safe, tried-and-true cafeteria in an attempt to recast the joke–but it’s the same old cafeteria fare, just drenched in a different bland sauce.

Neither one is edible.

Older than the punchline, even

Link to today’s strip.

Didn’t they get rid of the vendos? Oh well, only idiots like readers expect things like continuity. Obviously, since this strip is based in reality, the things in the vendo would be kept up to date, and anything past its sell-by date would be removed…much like a comic strip might be removed from a paper for something fresher and more filling.

Anyway, I guess this is supposed to be funny. It clearly isn’t meant to be poignant, or educational, or anything. And I guess I have to give a bit of credit for the (I think) attempt, even though it falls on its face.

I’m not sure what we’re supposed to make of Bernie. I had thought, with his interest in chess and the band, that he was going to turn out to be a smart character. Here–well, I don’t know. Is he dumb for wanting something from the vendos, or is he just naive? In the first panel he looks cynical and weary, in the second, he looks alarmed.

Oh well, I’ve already put more effort into interpreting this than it warrants. On to tomorrow.

The Lestitute

Link to today’s strip.

When Bernie first appeared in the strip, my recollection is that he was a fairly well-adjusted kid who refused to be intimidated by Chullo’s newfound bullying powers. Since then, he’s joined the school’s newscast group and chess club, and (of course, like everyone other than the hated sportos) become a member of the band. Despite his interest in comic books, he seemed like a normal, happy kid.

Alas, those days are over now. It sure looks to me like he’s being groomed to be the new Les. You know, the guy who only has two Facebook friends–because he’s just too good for anyone else to really appreciate him on his own level. The sneer on his face in that last panel really sells it.

But maybe not. Maybe he’s just being shown as a schmuck who no one likes. Giving him a big push would be a lot of work on a certain cartoonist’s behalf, and that cartoonist just doesn’t seem up to that task anymore. Even just a few years ago, there were a whole bunch of student characters. Then that got whittled down to Chullo, Glasses and Wedgman. And then that got whittled down to Bernie and some pre-existing characters ported over from Crankshaft…all of whom rarely appear anyway.

Still, aside from the Crankshaft Twins, I think he’s the only new student who even has a name. The one guy who dissed Harry Dinkle a few days ago makes (I think) a third appearance, and he’s not been given a name. I think from now on I’ll call him Thatsnought Hewmore.

Let’s Go to the Tape

Link to today’s strip.

How many years has Les been teaching at Westview High? And yet, according to panel two, he still has to tape a paper sign to his window. You’d think the teachers would have little engraved signs on the doors or windows, but no, No One Will Escape…The Entapening. (This film has not yet been rated.)

Is Tom Batiuk on the payroll of the 3M company? That…actually, that wouldn’t surprise me.

As far as the actual content of the strip is concerned, I can’t make any sense out of it. He wants them to be prepared for the test, and that’s fine, but then he goes on into nonsense land.

Just as an experiment, I went back though this years strips and replaced his last panel dialogue with something else. With one exception, these are unaltered. The slightly altered one is first. I think they make just as little sense as the original, but are improvements nonetheless.