Author: beckoningchasm

If Six Was Nine

Link to today’s strip.

This would have been much better had it been published back in April, but I guess Tom Batiuk figured he couldn’t set a senior trip in the middle of the semester.   I still can’t help wondering if this is a cry for help.

Of course, since we didn’t see anything of the trip, it’s impossible to say what Les means.  Don’t get me wrong, this is Funky Winkerbean so I’m sure he hated every second of it, but his answer to Cayla says absolutely nothing.  Les’ answer could mean that he enjoyed the trip, and is wistful that there are only a few more left; his facial expressions don’t give a single clue.

I don’t know what this is, but I don’t think it’s called “writing.”

And Now, Part Two: The End

Link to today’s strip.

WOW.

So we get most of a week of Les spitting weak jokes at a bunch of parents, and then we…cut to the grand finale.   No scenes of boarding the bus, no hijinks along the way, nothing with the hotel, or anything having to do with Washington DC.  (Yeah, sure, the White House is mentioned.  Mentioned.)  All we get is two panels of a miserable looking bunch of people (Owen aside) staring dead-eyed into the distance.

And…that’s it.  Yes, that’s all of it.  That’s the entire senior trip.  This way to the egress.  That’s all she wrote.  Th-th-th-th-that’s all folks!  Finito Binito (sic).

This is pretty unprecedented for this strip.  Hell, the simplest, most mundane tasks typically require several days of strips.  Wedgeman’s ring comes to mind.  Here, Tom Batiuk has willingly skipped over a potential couple of weeks.  Not that I’m complaining, exactly–I imagine that a fortnight trapped on a bus with Les Moore would be sheer torture.  Worse than stabbing a coloring book.

No, it is a relief to be spared all this.  It just begs the question.  How is he going to reach the 50th anniversary by passing up material?

There’s only one plausible answer, and we all know what that is.

He had to wrap this up so he could get back to Starbuck Jones.   I mean, it’s increasingly clear that Starbuck Jones is all he cares about in this strip (and it’s creeping up in Crankshaft, too).   He must know by now that Les Moore as “beloved character” is never going to happen.  That seems to be why he’s pushing Starbuck Jones so relentlessly, even to the point of cutting off a Les arc.

So, next week I’m guessing we’ll get more people talking about Starbuck Jones.  Not really doing anything–I think the bus scene exhausted his “show” abilities–but talking about how things might happen.  His “tell” abilities are always at the ready.

Next week we’ll see if I’m right.

The Reels on the Bus Go Round and Round

Link to today’s strip.

Okay, someone’s going to have to fill me in on this.  On the last senior trip (not implied, but shown in the actual comic), was there a huge problem because of the movies chosen?  Like, did some teacher (or, horrors, group of students) choose Deep Throat, or Cannibal Holocaust to watch as the bus wended its onerous way to our nation’s capital?  Because I can’t think of a) why Les would bring up the fact that he’s choosing the movies and b) why this might threaten his job.   Now, based on their expressions, this is apparently a huge relief to the parents, which leads me to think this was an issue at one time.  Either that, or the guy in the blue shirt just farted.

I’m sure Les’ choices will be something like Whose Life Is It Anyway (1981), The Mist (2007), Million Dollar Baby (2004), The Life of David Gale (2003), Maggie (2015), The Sweet Hereafter (1997)…you get the idea.

Having typed that–it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if Tom Batiuk decided the seniors should all watch Cliff Anger’s old Starbuck Jones serial.  Because, you know, Starbuck Jones.  But I say this:  if you’re going to do that, why not go for broke and have Les get a pre-release copy of the new Starbuck Jones movie.  I mean, yeah, sure, it took years to write, but gosh, they’ve been filming for more than a week, certainly they’ve finished photographing, editing, and adding the effects and music, right?  Movies are the easiest thing in the world to make.  Not like comic strips.  Comic strips require sweat and toil and a relentless focus on quality.

Well, not this comic strip, yeah.  But otherwise it’s the highest form of art.  Just ask the guy in the blue shirt.

Half in the Bag

Link to today’s strip.

There are some things that Tom Batiuk is quite good at drawing.  Everyone knows about the bricks, and our own TFH likes the way he draws the back of the ear.  He’s also really, really good at drawing bored people, especially in groups.  The expressions in panel one make up a nice image gallery of people who are bored out of their skulls.  Some of them are practically melting in their desire to escape, but there’s no mistaking the dreary ennui etched in their faces.  (Les and Linda in panel two are excellent examples of faces drawn in such a way that you want to punch them…so that might be another thing he’s good at drawing.)

Earlier I questioned whether there had to be a face-to-face meeting with parents to discuss the senior trip, and today the answer is clearly “No, it’s not necessary at all.  A one-page printout would do perfectly, and not inconvenience everyone to attend an after-hours meeting.  However, Les has some ‘jokes’ to deliver and he can’t do that in a printed sheet, so a meeting there will be.”

And not just one meeting.  Even a cursory glance shows that the crowd in panel one has been replaced by a completely different set of parents in panel two.  Meaning that apparently one crowd goes in to get smirked at by Les, and then they leave and another bunch comes in…I have this horrible idea this goes on for hours, long into the night, with Les delivering his idiotic quips over and over, each time with the idea that maybe this time someone will be smart enough to appreciate him and let out a hearty laugh.  What a sad, delusional, detestable man.

I have no idea why Linda is there.  Is she supervising?  Is she going to be speaking next?  If some parent stands, yells “For God’s sake, doesn’t this guy ever shut up?” and starts wailing on Les with a folding chair, is she there to try and stop it?  (Bad Linda!  Les will never learn if you interfere!)

One entirely plausible scenario is that Principal Nate called Linda into his office and said, “I want you to go to the meeting and smirk at his ‘jokes.’  You’ll know when he makes them–there’ll be a long pause and a smirk.  I’m not asking you to laugh, I’m not that cruel.  But last year I had two damned days of Les whining about how no one appreciated him because no one laughed at his–”  Principal Nate waves his hand in a dismissive gesture.  “–jokes.”  Long pause, and Principal Nate’s face hardens, his stare intensifies.  “I’m not going through that again.”

Principal Nate is lucky.  He can choose that path.  Everyone else…not so lucky.