HeyItsDave

O, Ho! Verily, Wally is a Project, is he not?

Buddy sure is happy to be home, as he’s followed in the door by the Twits, who probably forgot to feed him before they left. Bet he’s headed straight for his dish. Meanwhile, we’re treated to blah-blah-blah followed by another lame attempt at a punchline involving Rachel’s mother. Rachel’s unseen mother, I might add, since T-Bats has attempted this kind of joke before…

Anyway, I was trying to think of what kind of project I’d make if I had a stack of Wallys at my disposal, and I figure I’d just notch them all at their enormous foreheads and interlock them into a little Ohio Wilderness cabin, like Lincoln Logs.

The only surprise left this week is Sunday’s strip, and whether or not there will be some sort of Rachel-and-Wally wrap up, and if so will the colorists make Rachel’s hair blonde like they usually do on Sundays in complete yet typical disregard for continuity.

יּ٧ᴥ٧יּ ♥♥♥

Buddy’s back!

If I were to classify FW characters, here’s how it would go:

Loathsome Pieces of Shit (Les, Dinkle)
Irritating Douches (Jim Kabbadabbadoo, Durwood, Mopey Pete)
Sad Sack Shitheads (Funky, Holly, Wally)
Goofy Dipshits (Masone Jarre, Owen, Crazy Harry)
Those I Don’t Really Care About But Will Probably Eventually Dislike (Just about everyone else)
Buddy ♥

Yeah, Buddy. My favorite resident of the Funkyverse. He never smirks. He never makes shitty puns. He never wallows in self-pity, snipes another character to make himself feel superior, or “wakes up” at the end of an arc to proclaim that it’s all a dream. Who’s a good boy? Buddy is! yes he is! even though he’d be totally justified if he pissed on Les’ leg or took a dump on Wally’s bed. Nope, he’s just a goofy, happy yellow dog who lives day to day, greeting everyone with a wagging tail and just enjoying the moment. He doesn’t even bitch when his dumbass roommates Wally and Rachel bring him to a heavy metal concert, those idiots. How ironic that, in a strip claiming to be “a quarter-inch from reality,” the most realistic character depiction is that of a dog.

[PS: I did indeed notice that, after talking all week about the Monsters Of Metal concert, not a single frame of actual comic strip real estate was spent depicting the actual event. In true BatHack style, we instead have skipped directly to the post-concert exit. But you know what? Buddy’s back! so I don’t give a shit.]

Punchline Template 1A

The Further Adventures of Rachel and Funky Talking may be found here.

Hahaha, it’s funny because CrossFit and yoga are, like, totally different things! Can’t wait for tomorrow’s strip when maybe Tom will finish stretching this arc like a chunk of saltwater taffy and actually move the plot along.

BTW, go back through this arc and take a look at each day’s strip. Notice how Tom’s rendering of Rachel gets more fluid and less awkward as the week progresses? I find this interesting because it shows me that Tom lets himself get “out of practice” with his characters when they’ve been absent awhile and probably doesn’t take the time to do a little “freshening up” with the ol’ Funky Felt Tip before bringing them back.

Headbangin’ For A Cure

Link to today’s strip.

Aaaaand once again, T-Bats pads out two panels worth of inaction to fill three days, finally getting around to telling us that Rachel and Wally are attending the concert to help him with his PTSD. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a storyteller with a worse sense of pacing.

While I’d say that I’m looking forward to seeing the concert (who would turn down a chance to see Mort ripping up Inna Godda Davida on the ~~slidefart~~ trombone?) there’s little chance of that. The intern who drew Mort’s dementia-induced Independence Day Sunday comic has weekdays off, and we all know how Tom hates drawing his characters doing anything but standing around talking.

School of Rock

Today’s Funky Winkerbean is an example of my least favorite FW strip. I mean, I’m used to jokeless installments, or days at a time with no plot advancement, or bungled punchlines. But this crap just baffles me – I have no idea where T-Bats is going with this and by the time he meanders around to making a point I probably won’t even care.

So instead, I’m just going to wonder aloud why Tom can’t seem to draw his characters with any kind of consistency. Remember when Rachel was a ginger cutie? Well, I do, you philistines, and you can be reminded of it by looking at the center panel of this three-panel strip. For some reason, Rachel in panels one and three has sag lines around her eyes and an “I-forgot-to-put-my-teef-in-thiff-morning” mouth, but in panel two looks more or less like she used to a few years ago before Tom got sick of drawing her and shoved her to the back of the character rotation.

Funky’s got a new look today, too. Kind of reminds me of what it would look like if Silly Putty copulated with Mr. Potato Head and had the kid raised by Alfred Hitchcock.