“You’re going to get cancer, but you’ll have a chance to survive it if you make sure your clean bill of health is legitimate. You’re going to get a clean bill of health too soon because of a paperwork error. Here’s a copy of my book with all the important dates highlighted,” Old Les does not helpfully add, because he’s nowhere to be found and useful as a football bat.
You’re in a hell of your own creation, we could unfairly tell the autograph, but of course it’s not its fault, but its author’s. Because here it comes, what passes for denouement in Westview. But not today.
Today is mostly about Crazy Harry talking to the future (obese, naturellement) version of his wife, the 1980s’ The Eliminator, a video-game dude too good to beat, until he turned out to be a gamer chick.
Or something about Batiuk fishing for a “girl power” Pulitzer. I can’t quite be bothered to remember her name or the last time their putative children were mentioned in the strip. Because they’ve been erased from history as thoroughly as has Hulk Hogan.
Stay tuned for
Sunday’s strip was unavailable at the time of writing, and, when I normally would have written this, I was stuffing my face at the Gilroy Garlic Festival. So, um, urp! Snark away!
Update: it was about comic books and name-checking Stan Lee.
Update 2: The link is correct now.
“How long,” old, mortified Cindy asks the Funkies Winkerbean, “have you two been standing there?”
“Since 1972,” neither Funky responds, because that would have been funny.
“What does self-loathing mean?” instead queries Funky the Younger, which makes me wish that he had left home in 1975 and headed west, to San Francisco, and never looked back.
In today’s strip, old Cindy ’fesses up to self-loathing, and, astoundingly, tries to offer her previous self some good advice. Because she clearly doesn’t remember this encounter and hasn’t overcome her self-esteem issues, it’s clear that the advice will fail to take root in the past.
This takes place within earshot of the Funkies Winkerbean, so mortification, if not humor, will surely ensue.
Also, the gym has been replaced by a nondescript grey gradient for the last week. Has anyone else noticed that they’re enveloped in a dull miasma? Anyone?
Son of Stuck Funky 