In today’s yawner, Bantom awkwardly works in a cultural reference that is astoundingly timely by his standards. I’ve never seen Lost, but its last first-run episode aired on May 23, 2010. At the time Bantom put this strip to bed, that reference was only 3½ years old. That qualifies as “ripped from the headlines” for this creaky old oeuvre.
Still, gotta love the talking house in panel 2.
In today’s strip, Mason “Hollywood” Jarr thanks St. Les the Righteous Smirker for some as-yet unspecified “help.” Les’s speech balloon in panel 3 is too small to contain the text I expected: “Mason Jarr, the movie actor who was meant to portray me, Les Moore, whose one true wife died of cancer, but then couldn’t, because kill fee, and took the job of portraying Starbuck Jones in the coming Starbuck Jones film adaptation, in which Mason Jarr appears.”
Back in panel 1, with its rakish split-screen motif, Mason’s poolside phone chat illustrates why California is so much better than Ohio. Mason’s illustrator, however, has failed to pick up on recent trends in portraying action heroes. Here I’m thinking of Chris Pratt’s transformation from amiable schlub to rock-hard stud. Mason, in contrast, looks positively couchey-potatoey, gooey-wooey.
All I would have to do to become an action star is move a mere ¼ inch from reality, without logging any gym time, if this awesome guy is any proof.
Today’s title wrote itself, so thanks for that, TB.
Also, Owen doesn’t date because TB forces him to wear that hat. Now he won’t date because mascots are uninteresting losers.
Funky Winkerbean is a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner. [emphasis added]
Sunday’s strip is a rare denouement, which I don’t think is in the Batominc employee handbook glossary. And look at the abs on Wally!
Rachel, apparently, awoke one day from uneasy dreams to find herself transformed into a blonde. That transformation appears to be permanent. Rachel has always been blonde. The Ministry of Truth is, no doubt, busy “correcting” the miscolored representations of her that may have appeared in the past. We have always had a blonde Rachel, just as we have always been at war with Oceania, because shut up!
There’s just one thing I don’t understand. They’re openly discussing their shared happiness in the open, without a lead ceiling or even an iron coconut to shield their thoughts from the malevolent Universe.
Oh, wait! Now I get it! “The Universe” is a local malevolent entity that terrorizes Westview and calls itself “The Universe” to assuage its crippling inferiority complex.
Stay in Nondescript Tropical Beach, Wally, Blonde Rachel Character Unit, and Buddy! Stay away from Westview, now, and forever!
Here endeth my stint as your guest snarker. Epicus Doomus is up next, with my sympathies. Let’s just say that less is more, if you receive my meaning.
Today’s strip portrays the exchange of “I dos” at Montoni’s, because of course they ended up at Montoni’s, the only reliable social venue in the wretched town of Westview.
I promised you a non-sequitur, and Funky delivers it. His bad Winkerbean vibes having dissipated, and with a smirk that shifts his mouth half way to his left temple, Funky opines: “They don’t call Montoni’s ‘the wedding chapel of love’ for nothing!”
Never mind that he just subverted Wally’s wedding to do a promo for his business. They don’t call Montoni’s “the wedding chapel of love” at all. Also, how does that not dislocate his jaw?
Meanwhile, the weeping chef in the background is playing the old “I’m crushing your head” game.
Meanwhile, some random boy has been hanging around with Funky during the entire sequence.
Who is this kid? It hardly matters, as I expect Batominc will send him to the Corn Field of Discarded Characters, just like all these others that Epicus Doomus so kindly enumerated for us recently:
Frankie, Lennie, the gay prom dudes, Art Teacher, Jarod Posey, Dr. Patella, Radio Ron, Closeted Gay Prom Rock, Mallory the Perfect Human Genome, Rachel’s kid, Kili the cat and that annoying Dan guy, Cell Phone Girl, that tall blonde girl that was always on whatever team Summer was playing against, Travel Agency Woman, Plantman…
Son of Stuck Funky 
