TFHackett

Baton Death March

A couple weeks ago, TB equated Les’ endless struggle against writers’s block with “war“. Today, a flaming baton gets likened unto deadly explosives.

Remember “Holly Budd”? Westview’s majorette who wore a fixed smile, and her majorette uniform, round the clock. In addition to being positively deadly with a fiery baton, she was the good-natured vehicle for “dumb blonde” jokes, when you still could get away with that kind of thing in the newspaper funnies. Did Holly Budd die in the flaming baton mishap witnessed by Dinkle in panel 2? Because the dumpy, morose housefrau who is Cory’s (step-?)mom resembles her not at all.

I’ll Keep It with Mine

Aw! Little Skyler Fairgood’s only a week old, but he’s already talking and using a laptop! What? That giant-headed human is not baby Skyler but is in fact Our Cory? My bad.

Now the First of December Was Covered with Snow

Many, many thanks to David O for handling author duties over the last fortnight!

Epicus Doomus
November 28, 2013 at 11:11 pm
…I like how Summer just decided to keep wearing the hoodie straight through the year until it was weather-appropriate again. I assume she has an entire closet full of them and not just one…at least I hope she does.

Reckon she’s not only got a closet full of KSU hoodies, but she’s got ’em in blue and gold! Weather-appropriate? Guess so, since it’s all Summer needs to protect her against snowflakes the size of Montoni’s meatballs.

You’d think, though, that a young woman who could shell out $54 for a sweatshirt would spend a little more on a baby gift for her nephew. Instead, Auntie Summer comes bearing “Small Bear”, a cherished toy from her own kid-hood. “Here, “bro”: give this moldy, raggedy old thing to your newborn to play with!”

And Mr. Batiuk, please do a little research into what an infant carrier looks like: that little cameo in panel one looks like nothing so much as a baby reposing in a propped-up coffin!

“Rent” Control

TFH here, tippin’ the ol’ SoSF K-pot to Beckoning Chasm for two weeks of outstanding guest posting! Guest host DavidO brings the snark for a couple weeks starting tomorrow.

Before anyone asks: I’m not going to add “rents” (slang for parents) to the Batiuktionary…I actually have heard this usage (once) in real life, and it can also be found in that context on Google and Urban Dictionary. Now that we got that out of the way: war-torn Afghanistan provides the reader a welcome respite from the Taj Moore-hal. TB trusts us (for once) to discern that one of these interchangeable, faceless soldiers is none other than Our Cory. The soldiers having apparently exhausted every other topic for small talk, conversation now turns to the “rents” (in the past tense for reasons unknown). “They constantly invented new ways to be annoying.” At least they’re inventive; meanwhile their Creator constantly annoys by cycling and recycling the same tired tropes. The band director’s changed but being in the band is still an ordeal. The Scapegoats’ standout footballer is now the coach, but the team still loses. War was hell for Wally (who went MIA twice) and will no doubt be hell for cousin Cory.

Dimming of the Day

I hope everyone enjoyed Epicus’ guest stint these last couple
of weeks! Tune in tomorrow when Beckoning Chasm
takes a turn in the SoSF wheelhouse.

I was tempted to go with a “dark/light” theme in the post title, but thought better of it. Whatever other complaints can be laid at Batiuk’s doorstep, he’s always presented the biracial aspect of Les and Cayla’s relationship in a matter-of-fact style (of course, his eradication of almost all her racial characteristics is another story). But Cayla has spent most of her nearly five years with Les competing against rivals living (Susan) and dead (Lisa), while Les remained completely oblivious to her devotion. That’s why when TB decides to show Les and Cayla getting romantic, it just rings totally false.

Notice Les’ face in panel 2: instead of a contented smile, he offers a haughty, sidelong glance as if to say, “Good Lord, woman, what are you talking about now?” Cayla is observing the end of Daylight Savings Time (Crankshaft is observing it too, in a strip that at least tries to be funny). Les musters what little charm he possesses, and he shares with his Cayla what he likes about the early dusk: it allows him to sit with her in the dark and imagine he’s with Lisa.