Author: TFHackett

He Went to Jarod

Big thanks to my right hand man David O for guest posting lo these last two weeks!

Although we’ve only just met him, it seems like “the sportos” are well acquainted with Jarod Posey. His arrival in uniform is greeted with disbelief and jeers. “Posey the Nosey”? Just because it rhymes, I guess; loners are typically more interested in securing their own privacy than violating others’. We’re given an inkling of Jarod’s tumultuous home life, as well as a look at his newly-blond, though still receding, hair.

What’s the Catch?

Your old pal TFH checking in today. I fear that, after turning author duties over to the esteemed Beckoning Chasm, Epicus Doomus, and, next week, David O, that my snark reflex has begun to atrophy. Because I look at today’s strip and see the same old contemporary issues being depicted in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner and I feel like to puke.

A Scapegoats receiver goes for the ball: will he catch it? No, and he’ll look like a spaz in the attempt (but at least that Goats’ defender knows how to hit). Fat, beady-eyed Coach Bull “ta-weeeets” his displeasure, and takes”Ryan” aside to offer him some useless advice: “you might as well catch it.” Ryan, being a teenager, expresses his complete lack of comprehension of the most fundamental aspect of what he’s supposed to be doing. This cluelessness is usually Owen’s schtick, though Maddie (before she disappeared) and any number of Mr. Moore’s anon-o-students have shown the same lack of guile (anytime a teen in this strip (anytime a teen utters the word “seriously?”, get ready for a “punchline”).

Despica-Bull Me

Many thanks to Epicus Doomus for the last couple weeks of posts! Tune in tomorrow as Beckoning Chasm begins a two-week guest stint!

—TFH

In a dark and deserted Jack Stropp Memorial Stadium, Coach Bull Bushka delivers the unhappy recap following the Scapegoats’ first game, and hence first loss, of the season.

Epicus Doomus
August 22, 2013 at 11:16 pm
…These WHS-themed strips are just the worst. He puts almost no effort into them at all anymore, they only exist out of some sense of “tradition”, I would guess.

And tradition holds that in these post-game interviews, the reporter serves as straight man, setting up Bull’s non-sequitur punchlines. But Bull, forced back into the head coach position while continuing to coach girls’ hoops and serve as Westview’s AD, can express only his utter resignation and despair.

Ring of Shame

The second most surprising thing about today’s strip: Montoni’s has a modern touchscreen point-of-sale system. you’d expect to see an old-time ch-ching! cash register behind the counter.

The real story here is how Rachel “I’m only a blonde on Sundays” O’Conner cleverly finagles a real engagement ring from her dishwasher fiancé. Fashioning a ring out of Wally’s I.O.U. initially seemed sweet and spontaneous. Now she makes it clear to Wally that she intends to wear that damn thing on her finger every day, informing every Montoni’s customer who asks “What’s this?” that Wally didn’t buy her a ring.