TFHackett

Old 'n' Sad

So whose second-fiddle status is more pitiable: Cayla, who recently committed to spend the rest of her life never quite filling the shoes of the late Lisa, or Donna the Hutt?

At least Cayla’s rival is (was) another woman. Also, Mrs. Moore is finally showing some backbone, and hey: if worse came to worse, she’s relatively young and occasionally attractive, and wouldn’t have too much trouble finding another man. Mrs. Crazy, on the other hand, not only meekly concedes her husband to his beloved old comics, but even offers Crazy Harry an apology, which he magnanimously accepts. Donna relinquishes her husband’s affections and instead must settle for “love on paper”.

Harry the Hoarder

Argh, just argh. The joke here hinges on the premise that Crazy’s comics collection is so huge that is occupies all the space in their home. We know that Crazy collects comics (especially those Tarzan ones), but it’s never been established that said collection threatens to “eat” the house that Crazy shares with dumpy Donna, Maddie, and the missing-in-action Tyler and little Abbey.

Defense-Les Receiver

This is one of those times that TB offers up what’s meant to be wacky hijinks, while we hidebound literalists go right to the darker, imagined subtext. Ergo, a lighthearted, post-Thanksgiving on the storied front lawn of the Taj Moore Hell turns violent as Cayla (weirdly looking in panel 1 like Black Linda; talk about darker subtexts) forcefully tackles Les in what’s supposed to be a game of touch, before walking away sneering. This is the second strip in less than a week that ends with Les stunned and in pain at the hands of his new bride.

Funksgiving

Thanksgiving 2010: Becky is so exhausted from selling band turkeys that she’s unable to stay awake for Thanksgiving dinner with her family (no wonder she stuck Owen with the job this year).

New Year’s, 2011: While two living, breathing women compete for his affections, Les rings in the New Year pining for his long-dead wife.

Labor Day 2011: At Cayla’s family picnic, Les fouls a softball off his face.

New Year’s, 2012: Coach Bull is too busy fretting over the Lady Scapegoats’ winless streak to enjoy a party with friends.

Mother’s Day 2012: Summer carefully selects just the right card to leave on her mother’s grave.

Father’s Day 2012: Funky “honors” his father by dragging him from the rest home for an awkward meal at the food court in the bustling mall.

Readers have surmised by now that, in a Funkiverse where people avoid expressing joy lest they tempt cruel fate, the holidays are occasions to ratchet up, rather than leave aside, despair. Having decided that it’s too taxing to take Dad out of the home for the holidays, Funky contents himself with paying the old man a visit “now and then”. Pop may not recognize his only son, but you can’t blame him for thinking that this “nice man” must live in the nursing home too: he certainly looks to be of age.

Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Dolt with a Poult

Westview is truly a town without pity, as Owen finds no takers for the thawed and bleeding bird he’s schlepping from door to door. As a parent, I’ve been around my share of fundraisers. People tend to be inclined either to give, as long as it’s for a good cause; or not, in which case they simply refuse to answer the door. The folks in Westview, though, insist on asking pointed questions of the seller, before finally declining to buy. And forget about how that turkey was raised, ma’am: its thawed carcass has been conveyed through the streets of town for the last three days tucked ‘neath the arm of a hippie. You do not want that turkey.