TFHackett

I Wanna Be Your Dog

Today we’re treated to the most melodramatic, soap-operatic chunk of leaden dialog that the funnies have seen in years.

So the reason those “wet-behind-the-ears shrinks” were unable to reach Wally was that they never walked a mile in his combat boots? Fine. But what about the heart-to-heart he had with ‘Nam vet Principal Nate? And those group therapy sessions with his buddies at the VA? Oh, right: that was only one session, after which he decided he needed to go back to Afghanistan. For his honeymoon. Maybe when Uncle Sam recalled him (on a technicality, no less!), he should have tried for a section 8.

Anyway: I sure hope Wally’s more amenable to pet therapy than was his Uncle Cousin Funky!

Issues? What Issues?

As I was saying about continuity and pacing in the Funkiverse: I guess Rachel’s instantly back from her grocery run, and they’re now viewing a “frisky” video. Time for her to take Wally’s “cure” to the next level. Our Redhead takes a deep breath, and brings up the issue of Wally’s issue issues. Check out Wally’s attitude in panel three: that “Please” speech bubble should have icicles hanging off it.

Frisky Business

“Do I always look that scared?” Well, Wally, you did seem to brighten momentarily at the prospect of “something frisky”. But a man’s gotta eat, which means grocery shopping, which, for you, means venturing out of the Green Zone.

On this Veterans Day 2010, I’d like to extend my sincerest gratitude and respect to all those who have served our nation in uniform. — TFH

You’ve Got Smirk!

Children’s Motrin: like Colt 45, it works every time. Robbie’s out like a light, and now Mom gets to enjoy a little “me” time. And we, the readers, are subjected to “TB time”, in which years either pass by in a day, or, more likely, a single day can last a week or more. Guess that slip of paper from Becky wasn’t a hit man’s phone number, but a web address. Gee: do you think it was anything to do with puppies?

A reader named Ray commented on an earlier post, and I thought it was worth “bumping” his comment to today’s post because it’s pretty astounding:

Ray
November 9, 2010 at 7:18 pm

If I had to guess, the “Funky Fedora” is being tipped to [Susan Cash, marketing manager of KSU Press, and Mickey Ciriello, owner of Luigi’s Restaurant in Akron] from when TB had his book signing for “The Other Shoe” at Luigi’s (in 2007). Seems like a long time has passed to offer said thanks, but who am I to judge?

A tip o’ the SoSF derby to you, Ray, for this mind-blowing bit of information! -TFH

Mommy’s Home

Single mom Rache returns home to her tiny-handed little fella and tells him to get ready for dinner (“Awww, Mom, pizza again?”). She discovers the note from Becky that she’s thoughtlessly stuffed in her apron pocket. Her bleary eyes behold a scrawled phone number. Turns out Becky’s idea of helping Rachel “watch out for her ex-man” involves a hit man from Cuyahoga Falls who can make the job look like a suicide…