15 years ago, A Dance with Dragons was a year from coming out.
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim was still in development.
The weekend after TFH put up his first post, Kick-Ass was in theatres.
A child born the day of TFH’s first post could be in high school, have a learner’s permit, acne, hair in funny places, a nose ring, a crippling addiction to TikTok and ennui.
A dog born the day of TFH’s first post is probably dead.
In 2025 we are further from the first post of Son of Stuck Funky, than the first post of Son of Stuck Funky was from the premiere of Titanic.
Snarkers, posters, commenters, comics, artists, characters…they have come and gone since 2010. But this place has remained.
Thank you to all those people that made this place what it was over the last decade and a half.
Thank you to all you wonderful people who make this place what it is now.
Most of all, thank you to TFHackett for starting this blog. Thank you to his partner in crime Epicus Doomus for orchestrating things behind the scenes for years.
And thank you Tom, for a lifetime of baffling and snarkable comic strips.
Thanks everyone, the fools who fell for it and the fools who didn’t, for playing along with Banana Jr’s and my April Fool’s gag this year. When I finished my draft of the fake newsletter, I read it first to my roommate and she was skeptical that I had gone too over the top. That is until I pulled up a random Match to the Flame post from Tom’s blog and read it aloud.
She agreed it was closeish enough to maybe fool people on first glance. Like a stunt double. And Banana Jr’s great narrative and staging provided the heart pounding action to hopefully keep readers from focusing too hard on the fact that The Rock in that short scene has a less pointy head that usual.
As Epicus put in in the comments a few days ago “No one else writes like BatHam writes, and I don’t think anyone could, no matter how hard they tried.”
The newsletter had a combination of made up and real facts. So I want a few solid clarifications before any of these made up facts in the post morph, through the power of Poe’s Law, into Batiuk trivia canon.
Batiuk HAS told us we’re getting a Blue Bombers and Wedding storyline in the future. We are assuming Pete and Mindy are finally getting married, but that HASN’T been officially confirmed.
Batiuk HAS NOT ever mentioned his son Brian getting or being married. That was all made up for the fake newsletter. Maybe Brian is single. Maybe Tom is keeping his son’s personal life completely private.
Batiuk HAS battled prostate cancer twice both in 2002-03 and 2011-12. It seems to have, thankfully, been caught early enough both times.
One thing Alexa Vortuba in the comments reminded me is that while I really DON’T want a sappy and preachy year long ‘Jeff’s Story’ pooly collaged together from old strips, stock photos, and clip art, prostate cancer is serious business.
Older gent commenters and lurkers reading this, please. I know it’s an uncomfortable meme, but make sure you get checked out. I watched Ryne Sandberg toss out the ceremonial first pitch for the Cubs today, and knowing it might be his last one, and knowing he’s about my Dad’s age, and knowing that my Dad is going to be stubbornly impossible to drag in for a test. It about brought me to tears.
The youngest guy in this group is probably closest to the reaper. That’s cancer, and it’s terrifying.
On happier notes. We’ve got so many adorable widdle baby steak nuggets running around we really can’t keep track of them.
Most have been plain black. We’ve some with white faces, and a couple red white faces from our Hereford Bull.This one has a little white beard!Momma and baby have identical spots. And who’s hiding behind that momma?A white calf, just for Sorial Promise!
I’ve come to realize that my writing style can be… a little harsh. I’ve been making an effort to dial back my vitriol, focus my criticisms less on the creator as a person, and direct them at his work only. I even wrote a genuinely nice anniversary announcement just a couple days ago. But today I saw something that made me realize that the awfulness of the creator and awfulness of his work can never be truly separated.
I don’t usually talk about Tom Batiuk’s e-mail newsletters. They’re a semi-private message, intended for a curated list of fans, not the general public. Because of my J-school background, I feel that airing them in public is a little unethical. But I just can’t let this go uncommented on. Besides, we’ll all see it in the Akron Beacon-Journal soon enough. Here it is:
Just like the Pulitzer Prize-nominated Lisa’s Story, with an even measure of humor, hope and tragedy, tackled breast cancer, raising awareness for and about the leading cause of cancer in women, so I hope the upcoming Jeff’s Story can educate and inform on prostate cancer, the leading form of cancer in men.
Pardon the interruption, but I’m Banana Jr. 6000. If I give you a Susan Smith reaction, will you all stop asking me about it?
Let’s spend Five Good Minutes on the legacy of Funky Winkerbean. I know we’re here mostly to celebrate its… not-so-good aspects, but let’s take a moment to acknowledge its place in history. For its first 20 years, Funky Winkerbean was a snarky lampooning of life in high school and beyond, long before the word “snarky” was even invented. It even had an iconic debut strip:
“Murder In The Burnings” continues. Today, we see the town’s reactions to Les Moore’s shocking admission. You can read all previous installments under the Burnings tag.
Son of Stuck Funky 
