Chateau Boring

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I am scared by what “Pink Entertainment” could possibly be. In the real world it would undoubtedly be an adult film studio, but there’s no way this strip would ever be that interesting. Among the many things I dislike about Batiuk’s writing, his tendency to name drop Hollywood restaurants and hotels is pretty high up there. I’m pretty sure he’s mentioned Chateau Marmont before. I’m sure he thinks it’s adding realism to his comic, and maybe fifty years ago that would’ve worked, but now anybody can search for a Hollywood restaurant name in ten seconds, so it’s not really impressive anymore.

Who do you think Les is so excited to see? My money is the guy who reads the obituaries on the nightly news, because of course in the Batiukverse that would be a thing, and it would be the highlight of Les’s day.

China Hates Lisa

today’s strip

Man, that Les face in the first panel is priceless.  Poor, poor Les.  Being forced to have a movie made of Lisa’s Story.  If only he could say no.  Which he could, of course, but won’t, because he’s a whiny child.  A whiny child who called his wife up to whine about the travesty being done to the memory of his dead wife.  Which, if it’s not the world’s story, then why did he publish it in a book as “Lisa’s Story”, exactly?  

This really is Les at his most insufferable.  I have an extremely hard time believing that even Batiuk thinks Les is sympathetic or at all likeable, but apparently he does.

You’re Right Les, Lisa Sucked

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Yay, more of one of the proudest Batiuk traditions. Being a passive-aggressive jackass about something without speaking your mind or doing anything to improve your situation.
Is Alan Silver even an actual executive, or just some guy with an office? For all I know he’s Mason’s insurance agent. He sure doesn’t seem to have any Hollywood wisdom, since I’m pretty sure people always like watching chemistry between actors, especially in a romance. I’m pretty sure it’s the one essential for a romance movie.
It’s also helpful of Alan to explain exactly who Marianne Winters is, for those people in the room who don’t already know. Oh wait.

People Don’t Love This

today’s strip Okay, we get it. China China China. The sole reason Lisa’s Story can’t be made is because the Chinese can’t appreciate true art. Why did we need a SECOND week to hammer this point home?  I would love if someone in this strip just came out and explained why the Chinese can’t appreciate the beauty of Lisa’s Story, but of course that would take effort and possibly be controversial. “They Are Them” is just a terrible “parody” or whatever you want to call it of “This Is Us”. It sure sounds like a Cold War paranoia thriller, or a body-snatcher movie. It’s also pretty much nonsensical and something I don’t think anyone’s ever said. Also, Mason, This Is Us-sorry, They Are Them-is a TV show. Movies are different than TV shows. American Idol was huge. The same concept as a big budget movie would be terrible. Why is Les at these meetings again? Mason is incapable of convincing anyone to make this movie, and Les is just sitting there quietly. And he’s probably getting paid for this, somehow.

It Was About Cancer, Not The Heart, Mason

today’s strip

“It’s a romance movie! There’s never been one of those before! I mean, sure, they literally go back to 1896, but still romance! Surefire hit! And so what if the movie ends with the heroine wasting away and dying rather than finding the man of her dreams?”  Does Batiuk think this is supposed to be a good pitch?  Stating the genre of the movie isn’t a convincing argument for why it should be made.
Man, someone must have once told Batiuk that the only reason Hollywood hadn’t paid him nine figures to adapt Lisa’s Story was because it was Too Much Art for the masses. Or maybe that’s just what he tells himself. Although I can totally picture him calling up studio after studio until someone finally realized if they just appealed to his ego he’d leave them alone.
I would really, really love for someone in this strip to just not like Lisa’s Story. Even those who are against the spreading of the Lisa Gospel are totally convinced it’s beautiful art. Just once someone should react like a normal human would: “Wait, the lab results got mixed up somehow? And you spent how many pages on this ‘Darrin’ dork opening a letter? Why is this all about Les, it’s supposed to be ‘Lisa’s Story’?”.
Since Batiuk is just repeating the last “Lisa’s Story: The Movie” arc, how long do you think it’ll be before Alan Silver suggests Lisa not dying in the movie?

Also, if you want to laugh more than you’ve laughed at this strip (for a reason Batiuk intended), read the Wikipedia page for “four quadrant movie” and try and imagine how Lisa’s Story would be remotely close to what it describes.