Dreaming of Sleazebags

Link to today’s strip.

Well, I guess the dream is over, as Les pivots from a dream that kept him tossing to now note how he’s “thinking” about Frankie.    Maybe Batiuk doesn’t know the difference between dreaming and idle musing, but I’m pretty sure the latter is how he gets all his “ideas.”  But look at Cayla in panel one!  That’s the face of someone who is soaked in regret.  I’ve never seen weariness, God-am-I-sorry-I-asked, Please-Stop-Talking so well portrayed, so kudos to Ayers again.

And of course that’s Frankie in panel three.  What exactly is he going to do?  Demand that he be in the movie, or get money from the movie, because…reasons?  He has no relation to anyone still alive other than Dullard.  He certainly won’t have anything he can use as leverage over Les.   If the movie was “Dullard’s Story” he could, perhaps, claim to be an integral part but it isn’t so he can’t.  I am genuinely curious as to what kind of scheme he’s going to launch, despite the fact that Batiuk always disappoints.

I guess since the movie version seems to be moving along nicely, Batiuk needed a villain and, well, why not Frankie.  More Hollywood types whining that “Lisa’s Story” won’t play in China might have been too much repetition, even for Batiuk (hard as that is to believe).

46 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

46 responses to “Dreaming of Sleazebags

  1. Epicus Doomus

    YES! That Sleazebag Frankie is back and not a f*cking moment too soon. Finish the job, Frankie, let’s WASTE these m*therf*ckers!

    Whoops, got carried away there for a second. I assume this means the Film Food arc of 20-whatever is officially over, even though nothing ever really came of it other than Marianne’s rather disappointing suicide attempt. Speaking for myself, I like Frankie, as at least he’s not a bland smirking cretin like the rest of these imbeciles. In my opinion he gets a bum rap from these squares. The allegations against him are just that…allegations. Besides, these people frequently ignore and/or forget huge swaths of the past all the time, so how can they be trusted?

    Anyhow, I hope he brought Lenny with him, as he’s another personal favorite of mine. Damn good henchman. Seriously though, it’s hard to believe he’s tapping this well again, I assumed he bled it completely dry after that whole secret journal thing. Sigh.

  2. William Thompson

    Because there’s only room for one pathetic excuse for a human being in Les’s life, and that’s Les himself!

  3. William Thompson

    Who else hopes that when Frankie meets Les he’ll say “I’m your worst nightmare!”

  4. billytheskink

    It says a lot about Frankie’s villainous status that even TB thinks Les needs to take an exposition dump to remind us who he is.

    Panel 3, though, it looks like Dale Gribble is stalking the Moores.

    • Epicus Doomus

      The dialog is totally hilarious. It’s like a story a fifth grader would write.

      “I was just thinking about summer camp. I hope the escaped mental patient who killed all those kids last summer doesn’t come back! Grrrr! I hate that guy!”.

      It’s just difficult to believe a grown-up couldn’t do at least slightly better than that. When he mentioned on that blog of his that the current cancer movie arc would be “long” it was really ominous, particularly coming from him. It’ll be like very late on July 4th, when you’re about to call it a night and you just light the whole bag of remaining fireworks on fire and run like hell. We’re going to see Lisa’s Greatest Hits, all of them, one more time. He’s going to re-visit every single major Lisa arc ever. I suppose it was inevitable.

      • Hitorque

        I’m the daughter of John Darling and I’m making a documentary about John Darling, my father the talk show host who was murdered?

        “You mean THE Masone Jarre? The famous Hollywood actor who makes movies in Los Angeles?

    • Doghouse Reilly (Philadelphia)

      No, no, the man in that car is named Shackleford, Rusty Shackleford.

  5. Is Les’ “Spidey Sense” strong or what?

    • Epicus Doomus

      Part of me is hoping that Frankie somehow owns the rights to “Lust For Lisa” and will use it to annoy and harass Les. It just seems way too ambitious though. Still, it’s difficult to figure out a) how Frankie would even be aware of the new cancer movie and b) why he’d even care about Lisa at all at this point. I mean there has to be a reason he’s there…right?

      Coming tomorrow: Les starts complaining about his morning waffles. Frankie just keeps on driving and is never mentioned again.

      • justifiable

        CME actually owns the rights, because even though they put the project into turnaround, they wouldn’t have moved forward with it if they hadn’t exercised the option. But in Todd’s little mind they naturally reverted back to Less, along with his somehow being paid to exercise his “kill fee,” because Todd essentially just redefines all known terms when he needs to extricate himself from the corner he’s written himself into.

      • Hitorque

        That wouldn’t make sense if Frank didn’t also demand a piece of the book sale monies because reasons… And if he thought he was entitled to that he would have demanded it years ago.

        Nope, because Batiuk is a sucker for 1. Redemption stories, and 2. “Longtime enemies become friends” stories we’ll see that Frank has cleaned up his life, dedicated his life to Jesus and come to Les to beg him for forgiveness. And because this is a Masone Jarre project and he had no less than 85% of the citizens of Westview on the full-time payroll for Starsux Jonese, Les will offer him a job doing whatever and everybody will have a collective praisegasm at Les’ graciousness and generosity for weeks to come.

        • Gerard Plourde

          I agree but have one minor correction – “dedicated himself to the Cult of St. Lisa of the Cancer Chew Toy”, of which Les is the high priest.

    • comicbookharriet

      Les has ‘spidey sense’? No wonder he always dodges when I try to thwack him with a newspaper.

      • batgirl

        You need a brick. It has been well documented on the Comics Curmudgeon that spidey sense cannot warn of a brick falling on Spiderman’s head.

  6. Doghouse Reilly (Philadelphia)

    Is Battyuk aware that many films and TV shows “based on a true story” (along with the more nebulous and tougher to prove “inspired by a true story”) use what are commonly known as “composite characters,” who may be based on one or more real people or may use small elements from actual incidents? And that this often is done to forestall the very scenario that he appears ready to foist upon his readers, so that people who the creators cannot reach agreements with or do not want to benefit from the project’s release can be left out?

    Apparently not, so we might as well add “book and script writing” to the ever-expanding roll call of everyday things TB knows nothing about.

    • Epicus Doomus

      I didn’t consider this possibility, that maybe he’s going to demand something in exchange for allowing himself to be portrayed in the movie. That IS very Batiuk-like.

      If that turns out to be the case it would indicate that Frankie is a character in “Lisa’s Story” (the fictional one), which would be odd as there would really be no need to explicitly name Boy Lisa’s biological father in a book detailing Lisa’s heroic battle against cancer. Which again, is exactly the sort of thing BatHead would overlook with nary a second thought.

      Solid theory. My theory above is too complicated, I always give him too much credit.

    • justifiable

      Todd isn’t even aware that “high concept” means the exact opposite of how he’s presenting it, so that’d be a big “NO.”

      Funny, you’d think that someone who spends as much time as he does telling everyone what a “storyteller” he is would know a little more about how to actually tell one.

  7. William Thompson

    Somehow, this will end up with Les deciding that Marianne Winters is the bestest actress ever and the movie must be made at all costs.

  8. comicbookharriet

    Either the art sucks, or that isn’t Frankie. The neck is too thin. I haven’t seen any previews of the next week, but I’m gonna place an outside bet on this being Darin coming over to say Frankie is dying of guilt cancer. Frankie’s deathbed conversion to the cult of Dead St. Lisa will give Les the impetus to spread her gospel via the silver screen.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      You know, Batty is just sick enough to do exactly that. It’s going to be a long hot summer. Can’t wait for the leaves to start falling again.

  9. justifiable

    “Christ, I can’t wait for some of that promised Oscar money to hit so I can kick your sorry first-wife-obsessed dreamshitting petulant ass to the curb and find someone who’ll dream about me for a change. And we’ll honeymoon in China on what I’ll get when I take you to the cleaners, you lousy reneging lying motherfucker.

    Oh wait, did I just say that out loud? Never mind, he never listens to me anyway.”

    • CRM114

      I don’t know if this IS Frankie or what he has in mind. That being said….Go Frankie!!

      • Rusty Shackleford

        I’m totally fine with Les being slaughtered in the most painful way possible and then his carcass processed and served on a Montonis double sausage pizza.

  10. Banana Jr. 6000

    This is like the scene from Spaceballs where Dark Helmet says “i am your father’s brother’s cousin’s nephew’s former roommate.” Why the hell would Frankie care about his dead victim’s husband’s new wife? (Somebody says ‘our lives’ in panel 2, so this isn’t just about Les. Well, to the extent anything is about someone other than Les.)

  11. Paul Jones

    And yet another idiot is exactly the person he was in high school. Frankie can’t have matured to the point where he regretted what he did because that would go against everything Batiuk stands for.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Also, he can’t have any other interests or anything else to do in life than obsess over his victim from 32 years ago. Who’s been dead for 13. Sheesh, can this world revolve around Les any MORE?

    • William Thompson

      Frankie is now in his early sixties, like Les and Lisa. Will Batiuk make him look that old?

    • Rusty Shackleford

      In Batty’s world only people like Les (Batty) get to grow and be successful. Everyone else remains a dumb schlub that can’t seem to do anything but smirk.

      What a great message for the youth(if any) reading this strip.

  12. Hitorque

    I thought he was running a taco truck in Hollywood? WTF is he doing in Ohio?

    And out of all the people, Les having a dream about the dude who date raped his future wife is really strange….

    And why the hell isn’t Frankie trying to worm his way into Darrin’s comic book wealth? His bastard son is bringing home high six figures…

    • Doghouse Reilly (Philadelphia)

      The taco truck was merely an undercover operation so he and his stooge could infiltrate the Starsuck Jones movie shoot and dig up shocking dirt like a possible flirtation between the leads, then sell said dirt to “one of your sleazier national ta-bu-loids,” to quote from “Pink Flamingos.”

      Say, just imagine if they had gotten John Waters to direct “Lisa’s Story.” I would have paid any sum of money to see Divine play Lisa and Les in a dual performance.

      • batgirl

        I vote for John Waters himself playing Les.

      • Hitorque

        But “flirtation” between movie leads isn’t even a newsworthy story… Even “accidentally” leaked private sex tapes don’t raise eyebrows anymore.

        You’d think that Frankie would try to find something a bit more explosive for his investment of time, energy and money?

        • comicbookharriet

          I mean, Frankie does run a taco truck as a cover. I’m guessing he provides lots of explosive content to unsuspecting consumers.

  13. Gerard Plourde

    If memory serves I think Frankie was a player on the Big Walnut Tech football team. It’s probably expecting too much thought and scripting on TomBa’s part to even consider that Buck might make a reappearance in this random arc.

  14. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    But Frankie Beans already came back once. Remember? He checked into a hotel and said he was back “for keeps,” because people talk like that. But Duuuhhhren told him he was a big old stinky head, and he ran off in shame, because that would happen.

    Unfortunately, Frankie Beans reads this comic strip, which is absolutely the only way he would know there’s going to be a new Lisa Cancer Movie. In Batty’s pointy little bald head, the fact that Franko knocked up Lisa in high school legally entitles him to artistic control over the movie and a percentage of the profits. Sure.

  15. Perfect Tommy

    Gosh, I sure hope that mildly troublesome character that hasn’t been seen or mentioned in years doesn’t suddenly jump-cut to a parked car in front of our house and make me furrow my brow in impotent rage.

  16. Professor Fate

    So why is Les yelling at Cayla? Or is that how he talks to her all the time?
    So has Frankie been hired by the Chinese to stop Les from making Lisa’s story and is the talking murder chimp in the truck with him? I’d like to think so. Yes it’s stupid but I know if won’t be less stupid than whatever nonsense the Author has in store for us and will have the advantage of novelty.

  17. Don

    So, of course, when the movie is made, Frankie’s name will be changed, and there will be a credit saying something like, “{the character’s name} is not meant to be a depiction of Frankie,” just to be sure that he can’t claim any part of the film’s income.