“What the F*CK happened to our nose?????” Wow, at long last Batiuk finally admits (in a roundabout way) that Funky Winkerbean was a stupid title that’s done nothing but provoke confused reactions and cratered the strip’s (potential) popularity. Well, that, plus the intensely shitty content. I don’t know why the Funkys don’t remember their last meeting, although it was several years ago which might as well be centuries in the Batiukiverse. I guess he’s just going to ignore the Lisa paradox here, for which we all should be forever grateful. Still though, you’d think that SOMEONE would tell her, although maybe Cayla is shooting daggers at anyone who tries lest it ends up somehow altering the future and spoiling her (chortle) movie option gravy train. All I know is that my head hurts more than usual. Too bad they didn’t go back to 1972 and throw away TB’s felt tips, it could have saved us a lot of trouble. This arc pretty much confirms that regardless of what happens in the strip, literally everything will devolve into stupid wry banter and sub-moronic wordplay. “Hey! That asteroid is heading right for Westview and we’ll all be obliterated! I guess that’s what they mean by “getting stoned”, eh?”. And cue the smirking.
Vapid Reaction
Link To Today’s Alleged “Comic Strip”
Yes Tom, we get the point: Cindy is empty-headed, vapid and (in 2015) incredibly old and run down. “Babelline”…oh, I get it. The trademark thing. We all know he can’t write for his female characters worth a damn but Cindy is especially terrible lately. That dialog is just laughably atrocious. I actually had to look up “Miss Marple“, given how I’m not really too well-versed in 1940’s pop culture trivia.
Even Young Les is looking at Now Les like he’s a world-class asshole. He’s so narcissistic that his young self didn’t do a damn thing to prevent Act III Les from existing. What a dick. Also look at how young silhouette Holly is eyeballing old Holly like “WTF?”. Now THAT’S horror.
The best thing, though, is that look of existential horror and dread on Lisa’s face as she realizes she’s dead in 2015. AND she’s right next to Les’ younger, hotter and decidedly less annoying second wife, which makes it even funnier. No wonder she ran off to drown her sorrows with Frankie and those cool kids, talk about traumatic. Seriously though, what is his intent here with Lisa? Is there any chance that this might actually go somewhere or is it just one of those freaky time anomalies that you see every now and again? Why did he even bother with including her in this at all?
Smells Like Teen Idiocy
“Wow! Banner making and hanging technology hasn’t changed at ALL!!!!”.
Uh, excuse me there Mr. Batiuk sir, but where did Holly go? And I don’t quite know how to tell you this, but Lisa is F*CKING DEAD in 2015, which may explain why she’s so cold all the time. Now I’m only speaking for myself here, but I’d probably visit a future Super Bowl or Kentucky Derby, or perhaps I’d visit Manhattan to see what real estate became the most valuable. Not these morons though, no sir. The only real surprise here is that they didn’t end up in that shitty pizza place instead.
I guess this marks the official end of Batiuk’s “1/4 inch from reality” period. Let’s take a moment to remember that glorious era…OK, done. I wonder if anyone’s going to tell Lisa, you know? Talk about awkward. When she sees the “in memoriam” board will she instantly turn to dust or something? Or are we pretending THAT whole thing never happened too?
Through The Boredom Of Future Past
The artwork is just awesome today. I like how everything is just blackness, it reflects the content of the author’s mind so effectively. Is this a record for “most individual word balloons in a single-panel FW strip”? If not, please do NOT show me the current record holder.
If Harry hasn’t tried out the time pool how does he know it works? Why is Lisa all hunched over like she’s freezing cold? If I were her I’d get that checked out. Twice. Why does she want to visit 1990? Isn’t that just a tad unambitious of her? Why does Holly assume they’ll all be “long gone” by 2015? Ooops, yeah that’s right, I almost forgot. And isn’t it really 2025 in the Funkyverse? Or are we now officially ignoring the infamous “time jump”? Then there’s the biggest question of them all…are they EVER going to actually do this thing or will they spend another week talking about it instead? Talk about plodding.
And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Dick Face’s annoying propensity for bringing everyone and everything down. Even then he was such a dick. The guy discovers a time pool and he’s already finding ways for it to fail. He’s nothing if not consistent. Truly a dick for the ages, a timeless asshole whose annoyingness spans decades.
Past Dense
Even time travel is a snore in the Funkyverse. Crazy discovers a time portal and the only thing that comes to mind is to invite his dimwitted pals to gawk at it. Then they make inane stupid “observations” in a way that suggests they’re not all that impressed. Totally Batiukian. Maybe they could travel back to 1972 or whatever and convince Batom to get himself a nice accounting degree or something.
God, is Lisa irritating or what? Why is she even there? I don’t think she even attended WHS in the first place. And I’m sorry, but retcon photo album corners go with sepia-tone, otherwise it’s totally inappropriate. And why is Crazy the only one that remembers any of this? Sigh. I hope they eventually jump into this thing, as right now it appears they’ll be talking about it for a week and a half.
Son of Stuck Funky 