Son of Stuck Funky

Cluelesslesness

Ugh, after repeating the premise three times, Cayla finally dishes the dirt. But I’m going to do the unthinkable and defend poor Les here. I mean think about all the Lisaversaries the guy has to observe every year: birthday, deathday, Mother’s Day, wedding anniversary, Cancer Symptom Discovery Day, Diagnosis Day, Correct Diagnosis Day, New Year’s Eve, I mean come on. The guy is in the business of re-living his wife’s tragic death (and teaching or something), he can’t be expected to remember the anniversary of the day when he conned one of the few non-obese single women in town to agree to marry him in an ultra-cheapo front yard wedding (catered by Montoni’s, no less) even though it was clearly obvious that he was still totally obsessed with his long-dead wife, can he? Life is, after all, about priorities. And I’m sure he’ll make a whole huge thing out of it when she dies so ease up, Cayla, your time is gonna come.

Hey, look. Les finally got Cayla that dishwasher she asked for. Zing. Funny how he brought Summer back and updated her character’s status with a quick “don’t ask” just so he could have her set up Cayla’s woefully bogus anniversary story. If she was a real person you’d start to wonder who she pissed off up there at Batom Inc. HQ, you know? Not that I’m suggesting that we delve into Summer’s character, no, no. By no means, no. There’s no need for that, trust me. Keep her in the background and get her the hell out of here as soon as possible, please.

Anyhow, look at Les and Cayla’s tiny bed. What the hell is that? That Les throws nickles around like they’re manhole covers, I’ll tell you what. What a cheapskate.

Electronic Fail

Link To Today’s Strip

Good old TomBat, always right on top of today’s latest fads. Has anyone, anywhere, used the phrase “electronic card” anytime since maybe 1996? Word balloon filling-upping at its very finest. I do like how Cayla refers to Lisa as “movie script” now, though. Hey, it’s progress.

Summer’s extremely irritating habit of making odd, childish noises continues today as she “ulps” in a manner befitting the fine young woman she’s become. Her annoyingness is only topped by her uselessness. God I detest her so much. If it isn’t about her why is she even here?

But Sad Sack Les in panel one more than makes up for Summer’s presence today…it’s absolutely glorious. Look at him, all humiliated and sad, it’s fantastic. Every Les arc needs to end with that drawing. If only that were possible.

Master Of The Obvious

Link To Today’s Strip

She’s correct: this can’t be good. And I’m willing to bet everything I own that it won’t be. Because it can’t be, you see? Anyway, TB appears to be dusting off the dustiest of old tropes today, the ol’ “idiot husband forgets anniversary” bit. How original. Check out Cayla’s vindictive sneer today, looks like Les is really (shudder) rubbing off on her. If the final panel of FW’s run doesn’t feature a silent panel depicting Moore Manor cordoned off with yellow crime scene tape, I’ll be shocked.

Speaking of the artwork, today we see why Summer isn’t a regular in the strip anymore. BatTom can’t draw her consistently, especially from a distance. That side view in panel one is hilarious and the almost triangular head in panel two is just as bad, it looks like an old nuclear bomb test film from the 1960s. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good thing. The less Summer the better, as she’s just grating and annoying beyond belief. Summer is like having a dog with fleas or a backed-up toilet, you don’t need to elaborate on why it sucks, it’s self-explanatory.

Don’t Ask…Don’t Tell

Link To Today’s Strip

Thanks to DavidO and the rest of the outstanding SoSF staff for all they do!!!

Not too long ago I was going back and forth with the SoSF staff and I mentioned how I don’t always mind getting a Les arc, as at least there’s something to really hate there as opposed to the typical “Funky is fat” idiocy. Well, the gods of the Funkyverse must have been listening, because this week something I’ve long-dreaded has come to pass…Summer (shudder) is back. Never tempt the gods of the Funkyverse, friends. The consequences are simply not worth it.

I’ve always despised Summer almost as much as Les (and Lisa for that matter). She’s always too twee, too gritty or, as you can see today, too snotty. The hair, the neck, the hoodie…it’s all so grating. Summer is truly her father’s daughter. So today she’s back in her (surprise!) robin’s egg blue car to remind us about an arc we’d all prefer to forget. If that wedding was any crappier you’d have to scrape it off the bottom of your shoes with a stick. Meanwhile Dickface is (surprise!) furiously raking leaves, as Leafpocalypse ’14 has begun. The Funkyverse’s stars are all aligning in some sort of grand confluence of boredom and misery, it’s gonna be a long, long week, snarkers.

End Of The Weak

Oh God, not again. Les is taking center stage again, babbling to a confused group of strangers about anchors and who knows what else in today’s strip.

From the reaction of the crowd, they’re unsure whether to politely chuckle or cheer, as either reaction would be quite forced. Instead, they go with their gut feeling and just act natural, which is to say somewhere between confused at the metaphor and annoyed that this “I’m so wonderful, look at me.” Les-Fest is still going on.

For those of you truly inspired by today’s strip, you can order the quote as a poster-sized decal on Amazon for Only twelve dollars.