Never Forget. (That the Scapegoats Suck)

Ya know, a SMALL nod to the event that changed the course of America might be nice. This is the funnies, of course, it’s not like I’m asking Garfield to stare sullenly at an American flag for three panels but it’s a little off that a strip that deals in melancholy as currency would pass up the chance to remember what happened on this date in New York City over a decade ago.

No such luck. Instead, today’s strip is just a time-marking daily grind forward until the next real story arc. Even the telephone pole and goal post weigh in on the current situation with some of the most weirdly-spaced dialog balloons since Mark Trail!

MarkT

Bull-oney

Well, well, look at what we’re saddled with for the rest of the week! More observations that the Scapegoats indeed suck like a 5 Amp Hoover.

In today’s strip it’s obvious that Bull grabbing whatever he feels like out of the Lost and Found and everyone seems okay with this. Cell phone? Wallet? The only “scoring” Coach is doing is when he runs to the pawn shop to sell off Nintendo 3-DSs left on the bus.

Nate isn’t aging as well as the rest of his peers; Bull looks like the New Year’s Baby, Jim has a face as smooth as glass yet meanwhile Nate has “lovingly” been drawn out to mostly resemble a California Raisin.
baby bull
raisin

Goodness Gracious

Lower your expectations! I’m left to swim in BeckoningChasm’s wake after his most excellent guest hosting duties. A tip of the Funky Fedora to you, BC!

Now, onto the snark.

Quick, Les, take a seat with the rest of the class so we can pick *someone* we know out of this sea of unknown students. Cody, Owen, pressed into service as one of the only two students we’ve been introduced to in this gaggle of malformed, floating heads, does his best with the predictable but bad news he’s been given in today’s strip.

Hoo-boy. I hope this strip doesn’t indicate we’re in for a cycle (recycle) of “The Scapegoats are terrible” knee-slappers. That could make for a long snark fortnight for yours truly!

What’s the Catch?

Your old pal TFH checking in today. I fear that, after turning author duties over to the esteemed Beckoning Chasm, Epicus Doomus, and, next week, David O, that my snark reflex has begun to atrophy. Because I look at today’s strip and see the same old contemporary issues being depicted in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner and I feel like to puke.

A Scapegoats receiver goes for the ball: will he catch it? No, and he’ll look like a spaz in the attempt (but at least that Goats’ defender knows how to hit). Fat, beady-eyed Coach Bull “ta-weeeets” his displeasure, and takes”Ryan” aside to offer him some useless advice: “you might as well catch it.” Ryan, being a teenager, expresses his complete lack of comprehension of the most fundamental aspect of what he’s supposed to be doing. This cluelessness is usually Owen’s schtick, though Maddie (before she disappeared) and any number of Mr. Moore’s anon-o-students have shown the same lack of guile (anytime a teen in this strip (anytime a teen utters the word “seriously?”, get ready for a “punchline”).

“BC”=”Before Cthulhu”

Today’s strip

NB:  BC does not stand for BeckoningChasm!  Let’s just swat those rumors down right now!

Now, as for today’s thing…whoa, Les is straying from the Moby Dick/“Snows of Kilimanjaro” syllabus!  Let’s be generous and say he’s only brought this particular work into his class in order to point out its shortcomings compared to those two works…”bullying it,” in a sense.    Now, I confess my knowledge of ancient texts is pretty weak, so can anyone tell me what this work might be?  The Satyricon, maybe?

Given the sorry state of the Westview educational system, Owen’s answer seems to be a genuine one, not borne of his own personal ignorance.  There’s no evidence of a typical religious presence in Westview, although I seem to recall a priest performing Les and Cayla’s wedding.  So Jesus Christ (no matter your personal view of him) would not be an item that anyone in this benighted town would discuss openly, and hence the meaning of “BC” wouldn’t be common knowledge among the community’s teens.  (It’s not BeckoningChasm so stop asking!)

In fact, seeing the evidence of how the characters in this comic regard the endless and instant hostility of the cosmic fate that continuously observes and judges them, I suspect that the only gods known in Westview are those theorized by H.P. Lovecraft…

–okay, that was a jokey aside, but in all seriousness, it suddenly makes the undercurrents behind this strip much more interesting.   Did Lisa really die of cancer?  Did Susan Smith really leave town?  Last year’s high school class…have they really gone on to college somewhere?  Where are Jinx, Chien, Crazy Harry’s kids, Rachel’s son, Wally’s son?   Why aren’t they mentioned at all?  Did you notice we didn’t have a “senior prom/graduation day” arc this year–what happened to last year’s entire junior class?  And maybe Khan isn’t “Khan,” but the Mad Arab Abdul Alhazred?  Maybe “Citizen Khan’s” isn’t a deli at all!

Now I really want to see a Sunday strip showing the Westview folks attending mass.  I want to see a priest facing the crowd and saying, “Okay folks, repeat after me–Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!”

*cough*  Well, rather than end on that dark thought, let’s take a closer look at panel two, where Les is at his most punchable.

If he swallows him, he'll make a BLEAH face and spit him out.

There you go.  As our friends at Mad magazine once said, “Suitable for framing or wrapping fish!”

(Credit Where It’s Due Department: image of Cthulhu created by someone who calls himself Somniturne1)

I thank you for your indulgence, fellow snarkers!  As Fearless Leader says, stay Funky!