I’m a little worried about Les’ being “a little worried about Funky.” It’s a business trip, or so we’ve been told (although many of you pointed out yesterday the absurdity of scheduling business travel a week before Christmas). He didn’t just up and “take off”.
Instead of standing around the airport muttering to himself, Funky should learn a thing or two about air travel from his old pal Les: don’t be miserable, be a douchebag to everyone you meet and make them miserable!
I wonder what “business” requires “the Funkman” to travel by plane. He’s not visiting the franchise locations, since the New York shop closed up years ago.
We’re all familiar with Batiuk’s use of “photo album corners” and sepia tones to depict past events. Today he thoughtfully employs a similar visual cue, the “squiggly-bordered panel”, lest the reader become confused by the abrupt jump-cut from Montoni’s to some airport.
OMG that’s f*cking disgusting. I seriously think I’m going to vomit. Just thinking about it makes me want to retch. Seriously man, that’s the most frightening Funky profile I have EVER seen and I’ve seen them all. Man alive, is that a terrifying drawing or what? If you go from panel to panel it’s like the evolution of early man.
So Les can’t sleep, eat or get erections (bluuurgh) and he hallucinates talking cats who like to chip away at his self esteem. It’s so reassuring to know that Tombat can still relate so well with the everyday people who read his strip, you know? I think it’s safe to say that her comments today pretty much cement Cayla’s status as the least realistic character in the history of fiction because…well, I think it’s pretty obvious why. Nice to see that Montoni’s is as busy as ever too.
Coming next week: “Defenders Of The Faith” starring Les Moore as Tom Batiuk and you beady-eyed nitpickers as “Hollywood”! Cheer for Les as he defends the cancer book’s honor! Weep with him as he recounts the tragic sequence of contrivances that led to her horrible death! Come for the puns…stay for the wordplay! (Remember folks, “Lisa’s Story…The Other Shoe“ is still available wherever fine books collections of old comic strips are sold!)
Well, it’s already Friday so why bother moving the story along at all? Might as well devote the rest of the week to Les, his idiotic imaginary cat and his endless, incessant whining and just start (chortle) “fresh” on Monday, right? It’s been working for forty-plus years so why alter that successful formula now, you know? The way TheAuthor is wallowing in his clever little “writer’s anxiety” fantasy (like he would know anything about it) is just too sickening for words. If he seriously believes this is enjoyable to anyone other than himself he’s either totally delusional or stoned off his gourd on felt-tip fumes again. What a hack.
Oh, I see. So what Les is saying here is that those slutty Hollywood trollops only have sex with men that can help them. Unlike those lovely Westviewian lasses who don’t “sleep with” writers until they’re almost completely over their long-dead first wives and the movie-option cash starts rolling in, I guess. Way to denigrate a hundred thousand “starlets” in one broad stroke there, Lester. What a dick.
“Sleeping with…”, “on the make”…it’s 1959 in the Funkyverse, except for the cars which appear to be early 00’s Chinese gray-market economy models of some sort (now in robin’s egg blue!). I guess the trunk was optional, eh? I like the mismatched wheel wells too. That Les is really tight with that movie option dough, you know? I mean who’d let his own wife ride around in a deathtrap like that? You’ve heard of “unsafe at any speed”? This car is unsafe when it’s parked.
Be forewarned: Batiuk loves himself some “boy is the airport a hassle or what?”-style gags especially if Dickface is involved. And Les is definitely one of THOSE people where air travel is concerned too. Whine, bitch, complain, repeat. Remember that time he was storming around the airport and the plane being all rude and disruptive? What a jerk.
Son of Stuck Funky 