Gastro Geyser

Inside the Schottenstein Center* at The Ohio State University, Annie and her Goats take the floor for warmups, but Coach Bull has to inquire as to the whereabouts of his superstar player. I don’t know who this guy “Ralph” is, but someone oughta tell him that use of that Big White Phone is strictly reserved! What Keisha meant to tell Coach is that Summer is “driving the porcelain bus”. Or “laughing at the ground”. Or “throwing it into reverse”. Or…

(* Hat tip to Helskor for location scouting!)

Risky Bus-iness

As the Talking Exposition Bus splashes its way towards Colum, Fishstick Annie (still alive! Thank God) tells Bull he “took quite a risk” in adding her to his staff. Staff? There were no assistant coaches; the entire staff consisted of Bull. Was the “risk” that he might catch flak for doubling his “staff” in this famously cash-strapped sports program? The only risk that I see here is that Keisha and Summer might attempt another aerial butt-bump with Ann in the middle and shatter her pelvis.

The Picture of Dori-Ann Gray

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT???

Folks…The Cartoonist has completely outdone himself this time. Since she resurfaced last December at Darin’s birthday party, Ann’s looks have varied wildly, from 70-ish to late 30’s -ish and back and forth again. In today’s strip, she looks to be the same age as the crones from Crankshaft. Even her glasses and hair color are different.

It’s hard to get beyond Ann’s complete makeover, but also worth noting is Cayla’s condescending attitude regarding Ann’s (now blatantly advanced) age. Are the girls not supposed to “take to” a coach based on the fact that she’s about five times their age? And “Eight Track” for a nickname? That might fit a baby boomer (such as yours truly, whose 8-track collection was pretty impressive). The way TB has rendered Ann here, I’d dub her “Grammy-fone”!

Many, many thanks to those of you who have given generously in support of the snarkin’ good times here at SoSF! Your contributions have already been applied to hosting costs, and have given your humble, unemployed scribe one less thing to worry about. Today’s the last day of the fund drive…if you’re a fan and have a buck or two to spare, and haven’t done so already, please consider clicking the PayPal “Donate” button in the right hand column. Thanks again!

–TFH 

You Complete Me

Ha ha ha! Bull asks his new assistant coach if she can “shift her schedule aroundafter he’s given her the job. Sure hope she’s able to reschedule her cookie baking and quilting bee, and maybe DVR those episodes of Law and Order.

John
January 27, 2012 at 2:04 pm
This woman who he had no idea existed is being subjected to more affection and intimate touches than Bull has shown, well, ANYONE for the past couple of years…If I didn’t know better, I’d say Tom was planting seeds for an adultery arc.

I think that John is (*shudder*) on to something here. Added bonus of that scenario would be that it would free up Linda to finally make her move on Westview’s alpha stud, Les!

The Fishstick That Saved Westview

Jimmy
January 25, 2012 at 1:28 pm
Just skip to the end where Anal takes over as the head coach and Bull goes back to being full-time AD. Never mind the fact that the goats had to hold a raffle to save sports. Apparently the realistically sold-out gym gives them enough revenue to expand.

John
January 25, 2012 at 2:21 pm
The question of Fishstick Annie’s precise status is an interesting one…Would Bull take this kind of guff from a mere volunteer that he requested? Unlikely. So it suggests she’s been given authority over him. But by who? And how, if the school’s finances are so bad that a failed levy lead to the entire sporting program being almost canceled a week afterwards?

Well, it’s official: the cash-strapped sports program has made room on the payroll for a new assistant girls’ basketball coach. I suppose his position as athletic director (albeit a completely inept one) gives Bull carte blanche to hire an assistant on the spot. If Ann had been given that title before the game, surely Bull wouldn’t have saved this fact for a post-game surprise. And to Jimmy’s point,  yeah, it would make more sense just to appoint her as girls’ coach rather than creating an assistant position, especially with only seven girls on the team.