Chester the Chiseler – Page 10

“Variant” Curiosity

Yeah, yeah Chester, “purely out of curiosity.” I said the same thing when I went to go see Magic Mike. There’s nothing ‘pure’ about it. At least we’ve confirmed for sure that the Komix Korner basically sells porn.

I am wondering just what Chester means by “the other half.” He’s been shown to collect Starbuck Jones, The Amazing Mister Sponge, The Lunar Cadets, and whatever the heck Chicken Coop Charlie and Pork Chop Chuck is. He has Batman and Superman on the gates to his private palace. He can’t be one of those really insufferable comics fans that turns their nose up at anything that isn’t Saga or something.

Also Variant covers are a massive scam. I have a friend who checks online and tells her comics shop beforehand which cover of the next Transformers comics she likes. If she doesn’t get the one she wants, she buys it TWICE. Madness!

Dark Phoenix Saga

Link To Today’s Strip.

Yes Crazy, it’s been so long since we’ve seen unfettered enthusiasm expressed. It intrigued you so much your eyes are slipping down your face. I’m surprised that the very sight of it didn’t drive you completely blind.

Okay, so is it the Sponge Guy or Starbuck that is getting a rebooted comic book? My vote’s on Spongy, since the Clone Arc went over about as well as Justice League: The Rise of Arsenal. And why do I feel like this is Tommy Boy’s way of getting more comics storylines to juggle now that Starbuck Jones: THE MOVIE has been kind of played out. A movie that we never saw, nor even got the general reception of. What was it’s Rotten Tomatoes score? Did the public even like it? We’ll never know.

I think the colorist has never been into a comic’s store, since he keeps coloring the bagged and boarded comics a opaque shade of tan, like every comic is stored in an unlabeled manila envelope.

Or it’s a sad reality of the way DSH and Crazy sell off their backstock. $1.00 each, mystery special! No swapsies tradies! It’s the best way of hiding the fact that their entire inventory is back issues of The Death Of Superman arc and Image comics Youngbloods #1, by Rob Liefield.

Discrete Depravity.

Link to Today’s Strip.

Weird how in the Sunday strip Chester was asking both Harry and John, but in the Monday replay he appears to be attempting to keep Harry out of it.

After reading today’s strip, I’ve realized just how Komix Corner stays in business.

There’s a joke about cheap kid’s cereal or candy having to spell every word in the name wrong for legal purposes. Chackolote because it contains no chocolate… Frooty because it contains no fruit. Komix Korner so named because it barely contains comics. In the tiny conservative Westview, Komix Korner has become the only place for ‘discrete’ customers from, adolescents to the elderly, to purchase their adult materials.

Whatever happens in Komix Korner stays in Komix Korner, indeed. DSH John and Harry know that the backbone of their lascivious moneymaker is anonymity.

The giveaway is the last panel, where John whispers softly to Chester. His eyes are closed, lips parted, and he sniffs his hand. His pose is frankly erotic, and utterly shocking for a strip that chose to symbolize lovemaking as a darkened window on a rainy day.

Shadowy Agenda

Link to Today’s Strip.

Someone decided to rip of Frank Miller in exactly one panel today.

Actually the art on looks pretty good, bravo to the colorist for the gradient shades on Chester’s bald head. And you can actually tell that it is supposed to be a Hulk poster in the background. Much better than the weeklies. If you look at Saturday we have a brown Green Arrow, and a nearly black Spider Man. I know that there is a black Spider Man now, but I don’t think he’s gone for a suit the same shade as his skin.

In one entire week of strips, we’ve learned exactly HALF of why Chester is here. I’m guessing that at the end of next week we will finally learn why he wants to contact Mopey Pete.

Sadderday

Link to today’s comic.

Now we’ve devolved to a single panel, setting up a joke that could have been between any two Batiuk cardboard cutout mouthpieces. Both Crazy’s animosity and Chester’s condescension have been tossed aside to make a ‘topical’ reference.

According to BingeClock, it would take 2 days and 15 hours to watch all of Game of Thrones released so far. So is this running for a month of Saturdays? How do they decide where to start? I’m guessing they fast forward through any sex or gratuitous violence, thus getting the series down to 20 hours plus potty breaks and pizza runs downstairs. And who is attending this? Where are they sitting and watching? Spending 24 hours upstairs from Montoni’s, crouched on folding chairs in the dark, huddled around a flickering 1994 Trinitron TV, with Bernie, Bernie’s black friends, DSH and Crazy, eating cold pizza and drinking flat Mt Dollarstore, sounds like a recipe for Red Wedding levels of horror.

Also. This is a comic book store. Obviously they should have been watching The Walking Dead.