Tag: comics

Link to today’s strip.
Good lord, I’ve never seen anyone so utterly transformed by a comic book.  The amount of joy Jff is experiencing is mutating him into an unearthly being!  In that last panel, Jff looks like he’s turning to bite Holly’s head, and he’s got a set of jaws that can do it in one gulp!

Isn’t it odd that people get excited over this stuff, but then refer to the issues in such a clinical way?  It’s not, “I can’t believe I’m actually holding the issue which first introduces gold kryptonite!” but this weirdly specific “Action Comics #243!”  I suppose people who are dedicated collectors would do this, but it seems odd for fans.  If you got A-Rod’s autograph, would you yell “Hey, I got NY Yankees’ Number 13’s autograph!”?  It just seems, again, like someone who enjoys collecting, but doesn’t actually enjoy the actual article itself.

Whichever it is, you know, Mr. Batiuk, we get it.  We really do.  You think collecting comic books is just the greatest pastime ever–even collecting remarkably stupid ones like Action Comics #243.   And that’s okay, I mean, I’m sure we all have our little “guilty pleasures.”

It’s just that none of the rest of us bring them up, in public, every damned time we meet someone.  I mean, come on.  Give it a rest.

If those damned things mean that much to you, there’s only one thing you must do.  You’ve already made a good start here, turning Jff into a shark, but you need to go all the way.

You need to turn Les into a lion.  And not just as a comic book tribute, but as an actual week-long storyline.  Anything less would reflect poorly on comic books–and I don’t think you want to do that.

 

Link to today’s strip.

And now Jff makes his appearance, because like everyone else in this world of horror, he’s a big comic book fan.  And the one issue he has pined for, apparently for decades, is Action Comics #243.

Well, what can have happened in Action Comics #243?  The first appearance of some classic villain, or the revealing of some Kryptonian lore?  Perhaps a cross-over visit from some other DC superhero, or the start of some epic storyline?  Well, they say all mysteries are solved on the internet.  Therefore, let us all look in wonder upon Action Comics #243.

Question answered, and the answer is no.  It’s another one of those goofy silver-age things, where Flash gains 5,000 pounds, Batman has to wear a rainbow costume, Jimmy Olson can’t stop eating pancakes, or Green Arrow has to buy condoms…for Green Lantern.

In other words, the kind of story that no one in his right mind could yearn for over the decades.

Of course, whenever I see these silver-age things, I can’t help thinking that the authors–who had these colorful super-heroes, super-villains, and entire galaxies to play with–had gotten really, really bored with their work.   That grinding these things out was just that: a grind.  And that they tossed out ideas like this one–“Superman turns into a lion!  There, I’m done.  See you at the bar!”–just to keep the paychecks coming.

This may be a bit of a clue as to why Tom Batiuk seems to be so fond of these especially goofy DC comics.  (He posted on his blog once that he was so glad he’d bought the Flash comic mentioned above, instead of the first Spider-Man story.)  It seems more than a clue, really–because I can think of another author, who seems to be reacting to his cast in the very same manner.  By which I mean he’s gotten really, really bored with all this.  And he just can’t bring himself to turn Les into a lion.

Suddenly these goofy comic-books don’t seem so goofy any more.   At least their authors managed a bit of an escape.

Link to today’s strip.

Well, so we have Pm here (of Pm and Jff), and Holly is talking about comic books.  Comic books, once (in the bygone days of ignorance) thought of as disposable entertainments, are now considered Holy Tracts.   So Holly’s going to preach the four-color word here, and tell everyone how she was a lost soul, eatin’ pizza, naggin’ the husband, watchin’ TV until Starbuck Jones Himself came to her in a vision and saved her soul.

Apparently, Tom Batiuk’s notion of entertainment is that entertainment is evil, and every last vestige needs to be destroyed in anything that might possibly contain it.  Like those poor comic books.  I for one cannot imagine ever picking up a comic book again, unless it was hot inside and I needed to fan myself.

There are two types of stories in Westview:  the mind-numbingly boring ones like last week, Bull and Dolt McMoron discussed football (something that clearly didn’t engage the author of the strip).  The other type is the one the author feels passionately about–it’s also mind-numbingly boring, but it’s so shrill and piercing that it’s hard to ignore.   At least the characters in the strip don’t suffer as much as the critics; they seem relatively okay with their benumbed existence.

I think Tom Batiuk is getting his fondest wish–that his critics become so miserable viewing his work that they actually think living in Westview would be preferable.

 

Link to today’s strip.

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Well, apparently Bull’s “hurry up” defense storyline has wrapped up–although it’s quite telling that in Sunday’s episode, we see no indication of a score, and the visiting team seems to be playing much better ball than the Westview Tongue Depressors (or whatever they’re called).

So…let’s guess!  On Monday we’re probably off on a new adventure–and who will be our stars?  Holly?  DSH John?  Darrin?  Dinkle?  Think of the characters you hate most, and imagine them off and running!  Who will offer the bon mot of despair, the smirk of superiority, the devastating pun of wisdom?

Well, no one of course.  This all depends on your definition of “adventure,” and in Funky Winkerbean, an adventure consists of people sitting around talking, and accepting that they are powerless in this world.  Which is how I’m sure Tom Batiuk would like his critics to behave.  Hence the reason for the absolute refusal to allow anything to happen in this strip.

I was thinking about the Les-in-Hollywood story recently–God in Heaven, save me, I was thinking about the Les-in-Hollywood story–and it occurred to me that Les never articulated any criticism of the revised script.  The closest he came was to squeak, “Lisa lives?!” when told of the revised ending.   The rest of the time, he just wearily accepted what was going on and moaned that he wished he was dead.

We readers, on the other hand, were meant to be outraged, outraged at the changes made to the precious Lisa story.  Les doesn’t have to articulate anything, because–supposedly–we’re doing it all for him.  No work at all on Tom Batiuk’s part.   Pity the readers don’t seem to be on his team, cos it’s a great way to avoid effort.

That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin’, and a nice “Kill Fee”

UPDATE:  So apparently, Holly is going to deliver the winner of that 3.2 million Action Comics issue to whoever bought it off eBay.   That’s clearly an issue of Action Comics.  “Written a year in advance” my ass.