That Obscure Object of Desire

Link to today’s strip.

You thought I was kidding yesterday.  Well, take a look at that maniacal expression fixed to Holly’s face.  That’s the face of someone in the grip of an obsession.  I can just see it now, she thinks, I can start the quest all over again–only with ashcan comics!  Then I can start again, on all the foreign editions!  And after that–

Once again, Holly gets what she wants with no (apparent to her) cost or effort.  What a lesson for us all.  “If you want something in life, just be a pathetic loser, and people will give it to you!”

As for Dickhead John, panel two is what you get when you insist on getting your hair cut at that comic-themed barber shop that’s tilted like a Batman villain’s lair from the old TV show.  Poor drawing at its best.

And I bet panel three is what you get from John when someone is actually dying from a heart attack.  C’mon, you old faker, you’re taking way too much attention away from me.

These people should all be buried in lava.

Sorry about being kind of half with-it this week, folks.  There’s only so many things you can write about vanilla ice cream.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

14 responses to “That Obscure Object of Desire

  1. I disagree; there are many things one can say about vanilla ice cream. It’s classic. It’s got a smooth, mellow taste. It’s the blank canvas of the ice cream world, adaptable to an endless variety of toppings and recipes. It pairs perfectly with warm chocolate lava cake. It is, in short, a much more worthy topic of conversation than this miserable, convoluted, ill-thought-out comic book hunt.

  2. I like vanilla ice cream myself; I can’t imagine talking about it day after day, though, and finding anything really new to say about. No offense meant toward vanilla ice cream.

  3. Rusty

    So is the “ash-can” issue a plant by John or a fuckup by Tony? Never mind, Batiuk has managed to make his friend look like a clown. The moral of the story arc is that Holly has had a hidden passion for collecting comics awakened. Look for her playing the old gamecube with Owen and the other one on her days off from Montoni’s.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    He gives one of his “real life” (so to speak) pals a cameo, then proceeds to fell him with a dramatic heart attack? Yep, sounds about right.

    Re: vanilla…it’s that typical FW pacing, glacial as ever. It takes days (and sometimes even entire weeks) for three minutes of “real time” to play out. The thinnest of premises stretched out to infinity and beyond, featuring boring, detestable morons behaving in baffling and stupid ways. Oh yeah, and issue facing young adults or something.

    I’m beginning to believe that BC is right: now she’s going to seek out all sorts of weird SJ comic book arcana. Ashcans, pivot pieces, Johnson wheels, tie-bender pages, clipboard claptraps, benders and flenders and grab bags and such. This could go on forever. In fact I bet you he has like fifty years worth of this stuff filed away for submission in the future.

  5. Guest Page Turner Author

    It’s not as if a shoe box labelled “25 cent comix” is a binding contract!

  6. Flummoxicated

    Thanks to the crappy writing (sorry, “writing”) and artwork we can’t be sure if this ashcan thing is another gift from DSH or a screw-up from Batom’s friend Tony. If it is another DSH gift – why would he drop that kind of money for Holly and her crappy son? Is he really that flush with cash?

  7. Epicus Doomus

    That fictional history of “Batom Comics” on the official FW blog page is a real piece of work too. So much of his work is permeated with that weird martyr complex. Batom Comics was just a small time operation fighting the inexorable tide and yadda yadda yadda…it couldn’t have anything less to do with freaking Starbuck Jones either. The guy has some really boring fantasies, you know?

  8. Jeffcoat Waynr

    Gee, I hope this Fat Tony character is alright. Guess we’ll find out on Monday, unless it’s time to take an abrupt turn and peek in on something completely unexpected like Odie and Cowen’s summer job as struggling male prostitutes on the opposite side of town.

  9. Great. Since DSHJ is a sociopath, he wouldn’t care IF Other Fat Tony dies of panic. He’s too busy worrying about real problems like how Doctor Wertham wanted to ruin everything.

  10. Between the hidebound literalists and Dr. Wertham, I don’t know where to run. But I do know that I wouldn’t pour lava on these clowns. Why ruin perfectly good lava?

  11. Chyron HR

    Okay, DSH thinks Tony is acting and that’s why he doesn’t care that an overweight man is yelling “I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK!” What’s Holly and Da Nang Dan’s excuse?

    (Also, notice that army man has had three different shirt/jacket combinations in the four panels he’s appeared this week.)

  12. billytheskink

    Northern Ohio – Late July 2013

    *Ring* *Ring* *Click*
    TI: Hello?
    TB: Tony! How are you my friend?
    TI: Doing well Tom, gearing up for the big “Garage Con” this weekend. You still coming?
    TB: Wouldn’t miss it for the real Comic-Con.
    TI: Riiiiiiight…
    TB: Anyways, that’s kinda why I was calling. I wanted to let you know that I’m putting the finishing touches on the Holly comic book search story and she picks up the final issue at your “Garage Con”.
    TI: Hey, cool.
    TB: I know, right? So the way it goes is that John heroically acquires the final issue Holly is looking for off-panel at San Diego Comic-Con and has a comic version of you hide it in your $0.25 boxes for Holly to find at “Garage Con”. When she finds it, you act all upset, like you forgot it was in there.
    TI: OK, sounds fu…
    TB: There’s more! After you make Holly believe she got the rare and valuable final issue in her collection for pocket change, she continues to poke around your $0.25 bins and finds a rare ashcan issue that you actually, foolishly, mixed in there.
    TI: Um…
    TB: And then, you start having a heart attack, clutching your chest and screaming dramatically. I’m thinking I’ll probably kill you off… a few days ago I had my secretary go through the past few years of strips and do a body count and it was pretty low.
    TI: So… uh, how would you depict your enemies in strip then?

  13. Apauled

    I heard on NPR today that the Comic Con thing is still going on in San Diego & won’t end until tomorrow, So much for TB’s “reality”.

  14. carriekube1

    Compared to the cancer-play naysayers who only got a small lecture, his enemies get off easier.