Defender – Son of Stuck Funky

No Quarter Given

Meanwhile back in 1973, Donald/Donna has beaten Crazy Harry, whose young self must have already stormed out of the pizzeria. Mister Tony Montoni is not impressed; he’s only concerned that The Eliminator’s prowess deprives him of revenue (hey: a single quarter in 1973 represents $1.77 in today’s money). Speaking of money, I believe that time-traveling Donna and Harry are visible to everyone else. Did they order a slice? Did they bring some pre-1973 currency with which to pay their tab without revealing that they are from the future?

It’s been fun (mostly) posting this week’s “Untold Tale,” and I hope TB has some more of these in the works for us to rip apart. Thanks to you all for reading and commenting!

How I (Hel)met Your Mother

I tried to come up with some thoughtful commentary here. But I just cannot get beyond the fact that Crazy Harry is mooning over what is ostensibly an eleven (and a half!) year old boy in a space helmet.

Pre-liminator

It’s probably just as well that TB is presenting this mini arc on his blog, as opposed to shoehorning it into his Crankshaft comic. If there are any readers out there who know only of Cranky and his pals, and are unaware of fifty years of Funky Winkerbean canon (big “if”), they’ve been confused enough by all these “new” characters turning up in Centerville. Also, kindly excuse my use of the word “canon” here, as Funky canon is, well, loose. We now know that “the ‘Eliminator'”, aka “Donald,” was really a young girl named Donna.

Continue reading “Pre-liminator”

The Great Tomholio

today’s strip

So Harley owned the time travel helmet, then Donna stole it? So her whole main FW gimmick was predicated on theft? And, as TFH pointed out yesterday, “The Eliminator” was supposedly “eleven years old” at the time, thus couldn’t have even been in high school in the first place. But complaining about FW’s lack of continuity now would be like the crew of the “Edmund Fitzgerald” complaining that the ship was too damp. This arc is slowly shaping up to be the worst idea in a lengthy history of them. Any idiot could have thrown together a month’s worth of strips featuring Les and Funky sitting at Montoni’s and saying “hey, remember when…?”, but once again, BatYam just can’t resist the urge to out-clever himself.

Great Moments In FW Arc Recap History

February 17-23, 2014
Aging weekend anchorwoman Cindy Summers is put out to pasture (AKA Cleveland) by ABC News. Sunday: Holly and Funky worry about Cory.

In 2014, FW featured an arc where national network news anchor Cindy Summers was fired for being too old and disgusting to show on HD TV. No lawsuit, no nothing. Cindy grudgingly accepted her fate and left quietly, then complained to Funky about it. I believe this arc marked her Act III return, and that was how he chose to bring her back, by pointing out how she used to be hot, but wasn’t anymore. And she’s been a vapid, anxiety-ridden airhead ever since. I guess we’ll never find out what happened at Buddyblog, or with the Emmy nomination she snagged. Another FW character forever on the receiving end of Batiuk’s perpetual high school karmic payback.

Blippin’ and Trippin’

Sourbelly
April 23, 2022 at 10:53 pm
Passing out from wearing a cheap stupid helmet 18 sizes too small may have had more of an impact on Kwazy Harry’s boring, stupid, pointless psychotic embolism. Whatever. It’s over, right? On to the next thing!

If only. If only! Ya know, snarkers, I was secretly kinda hoping that Tom Batiuk would drag Funky across the fifty year goal line, accept his Gold T-Square (to put with his Inkpot Award), call it a career, and live off the (surely massive) proceeds of the Complete FW volumes he so incessantly flogs. If only! Instead, the comic strip creator who crowed about allowing his characters to age and even to die, has given himeself carte blanche to run around tying up his strip’s countless loose plot threads. And in the cheapest way possible: “it was all just a dream/coma/toxic fume induced fainting spell.”