Tag: Iraquistan

Syllabuster

It is not really fair for me to question the comparison of a military briefing to first day of an unidentified community college class as in today’s strip. While I have my suspicions about how appropriate the comparison is, I have only experienced the latter situation.

I will, however, point out that both Colonel Crew-Cut and Professor Forehead are awkwardly stating what both their audience in the room already know and what newspaper comic strip readers could reasonably infer without such clunky exposition. It is like TB leading off each strip with a drawing of him saying:

The following is a comic strip I wrote. It carries the weight of substantial ideas. Silver Age Flash is also important literature.

Uh, maybe I shouldn’t have thrown that idea out there…

I, Me, Landmine

Les rather magnanimously inquires about Cory’s well-being. Funky replies “…I always used to worry about where he was headed.”  He’s referring, of course, to Cory’s heyday of petty larceny, school vandalism, cheating, and sassing his teachers. You know: the days when Cory was the coolest, most likeable character in the strip. Anymore–I mean, nowadays, with Cory tiptoeing through the Bouncing Bettys in war-torn Iraquistan, I guess Funky no longer needs to worry about his “totally focused” stepson.

“Rent” Control

TFH here, tippin’ the ol’ SoSF K-pot to Beckoning Chasm for two weeks of outstanding guest posting! Guest host DavidO brings the snark for a couple weeks starting tomorrow.

Before anyone asks: I’m not going to add “rents” (slang for parents) to the Batiuktionary…I actually have heard this usage (once) in real life, and it can also be found in that context on Google and Urban Dictionary. Now that we got that out of the way: war-torn Afghanistan provides the reader a welcome respite from the Taj Moore-hal. TB trusts us (for once) to discern that one of these interchangeable, faceless soldiers is none other than Our Cory. The soldiers having apparently exhausted every other topic for small talk, conversation now turns to the “rents” (in the past tense for reasons unknown). “They constantly invented new ways to be annoying.” At least they’re inventive; meanwhile their Creator constantly annoys by cycling and recycling the same tired tropes. The band director’s changed but being in the band is still an ordeal. The Scapegoats’ standout footballer is now the coach, but the team still loses. War was hell for Wally (who went MIA twice) and will no doubt be hell for cousin Cory.

Adults Only

Today’s strip

So Halloween Week begins with Rachel helpfully reminding the readers that the detested and largely-forgotten Cory is still in the army, toiling away in Afghanistan (which as you know is no place for a FW character to be). Meanwhile, the World’s Youngest Elderly Person crabbily takes a shot at Facebook (registered trademark, BTW), declaring it to be no more than mere child’s play. Although in this case I can’t say I really blame him, as if I was in his position I wouldn’t especially want to remember Cory either.

Perhaps Boy Lisa could use his technological skill set to create a Westviewians-only social network (SmirkBook??). There could be a “bemused” button instead of “like” and the “friends” list would become “people I grudgingly tolerate”. And instead of profile pics you’d post a scan of your medical history. It’d be the perfect place for posting pizza sales, obituaries, new arrivals at the Korner, Lisa videos, weather forecasts for charity runs and band contests and such. Don’t be afraid of the technology, Tom Funky… embrace it.

Ruh-roh!

Again: in the interest of full disclosure, I never served in the military, and have nothing but the utmost respect for those who have. That said…we know that in the considerable amount of time spent by Wally “in the shit”, he was nearly blown up by a landmine, survived a chopper crash, and spent God knows how many years as a POW. But what incident seems to haunt him the most? The time that he nearly killed a young civilian. Fortunately, Buddy’s PTSD-sense begins to tingle, causing his ears to fly up; he joins his Master on the bunk and Wally can resume catching some “Zzzz’s”.