Tag: Keisha

A Door, A Jarr

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And, after an absolutely mind-bending two week pause, the big Mason Jarr/Starbuck Jones arc is back. Surprisingly the arc picks up with Mason actually arriving. I assumed we’d probably get a few more weeks of Dickface and Co. babbling about it, then another two week “wow, driving to the airport is awful” sub-arc before he finally showed, but Bantom must have been feeling revitalized after all that crossover action. This is like warp speed for a FW arc.

TB is really holding firm with the “ancient shopworn old TV sitcom tropes” theme of this arc, isn’t he? The Moore ladies are all aflutter as Mason politely pretends to undress them with his starry eyes as Les looks on disdainfully as usual, disgusted once again with everyone’s complete inability to be as cool as he is around his Hollywood hotshot pal. Keisha appears to be in the throes of a convulsion while Summer is overwhelmed by being in the presence of a strong male figure for the first time in her young life. As far as Cayla goes, it’s about what I expected from her, minus the lemonade. What a strong group of believable female characters.

The Least Laffs

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A semi-surprisingly novel turn of events here today, as Les isn’t just authoring a crappy graphic novel with a really dumb title for Cayla, he’s taking her to some godforsaken Chinese industrial plant to actually see the book be made. Pretty clever! And pretty strange, too. By the look on her face we can conclude that seeing an actual sweatshop was way up there on her “bucket list”. The startling revelation sends Cayla into throes of passion so great she immediately begins devouring Les, right there in front of the kids. Look at the smug look on Dickface’s puss as he springs the news upon her, what a dick. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to kill him more. And a Chinese printing firm? Way to support Ohio there, “Comrade Moore”.

Speaking of those kids, blech. Talk about useless and easily impressed. And what does Summer know about “personal growth”? She’s worn the exact same outfit for seven years and even her new breast implants don’t make much of a difference. I guess TomBat thought those were necessary least we mistake Summer for the dude who came by to fix the water heater. I mean geez, no wonder she sucks at basketball now. Poor kid’s back must be killing her.

Bad art alert: Cayla’s nearly perfectly-square head in panel one, plus those creepy bug-eyes. And Les’ arched eyebrows…gak. The only remotely positive thing I could say about this one is that it really is wildly imaginative by TB’s usual standards. Not saying much, but still. “Going to a Chinese printing plant to see the book he wrote for Cayla be printed” was no one’s guess for where the anniversary arc would go.

Yes, my post title is a re-hash but I flipped the words around so it’s slightly different, see? Hey, if FW can do it so can I.

Duh With A Capital D

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“But…but…we already have the regular china AND the funeral china!!”. So yesterday’s seemingly out-of-nowhere gag about Chinese food WAS going somewhere. Les has sprung for two tickets to Hong Kong for some reason. I distinctly recalling him complaining about traveling (basketball team charity raffle fund-raiser arc) but I guess he’s over that now. Look how stunned Summer is to see Dickface spending money on a real gift as opposed to writing one of his laughable “books” instead. Or maybe she’s just baffled that her idiot father hasn’t mentioned Lisa yet. I can’t believe it either. Now perhaps she can explain why she (along with her sidekick) are there in the first place, as the reasoning behind it escapes me.

I really HATE those side-panel profiles like in panel two today. The Keisha one is especially…unflattering, let’s say. All this Les stuff is making my head hurt, it’s like being beaten with a sack full of bad puns, I’ll tell you what.

I was just thinking about an arc where Les and Cayla visit Hong Kong and I actually shuddered thinking about BatWrite drawing throngs of Asian faces. That will NOT go well, unless they stay in the touristy part of the city that’s full of obese white sad-sacks with enormous asses and bulbous noses, that is. Hooooo-boy.

Kiss Me Beardly

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Boy Lisa can draw comic strips? Why of COURSE he can! This is Westview, where drawing your first comic strip is like learning to walk in normal towns. And here I thought he was just a witless pizza schlub with Lisa’s DNA. Oh well, it isn’t like he doesn’t have the time or anything. “The school paper”…there’s a ringing endorsement. “Oh gee, some local dipshit who doodled in high school made me an anniversary gift…how thoughtful!”….things no wife says, ever.

“This time it’s about us”…oh my, that’s a line of dialog and a half, eh? See, I knew that if Cayla just kept quiet and remained patient Les would eventually get around to treating her like, you know, his wife. And she didn’t even have to die first! In Westview this is known as “personal growth”.

The artwork today makes me want to spray pure bleach directly into my eyes with a high-pressure hose. In panel one he’s waving and gesticulating in that condescending “I have a brilliant idea, allow me to dumb it down for you” way of his, then in panel two his entire face contorts into the total embodiment of smug self-satisfaction as he explains that HIS idea that HIS friend (actually bio-stepson related to Lisa no less) is working on and HIS publisher likes is all about “them” somehow. Then on top of it he face-melds with Cayla in panel three in a scene so disgusting I just want to drop it right here and move on, as it’s only Tuesday. It’s harrowing.

The Laffs Least

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“The Last Leaf”??? A “graphic novel” about Cayla?? But…but…she isn’t even dead yet!! Does not compute. But seriously, blech, oh no, what a shitty gift and etc. So typically Les-esque, they guy writes her a novel about how HE found love and how happy HE is, which in his mind if the most selfless and grand gesture he can make. Such a dick. And how thoughtful of him to rub the manuscript against his crotch before handing it to her, as if the gift itself wasn’t already bad enough.

And in the “things I never thought I’d ever say” department, note to Summer: put that hoodie back on…please. No one wants to see that, particularly in the morning. Why is she still there? Why are they lurking around in their parent’s bedroom first thing in the AM? Who DOES this?

Check out that look of smug, all-consuming self-satisfaction on his cretinous face as he explains his moronic gift, what a repellent display of Les Moore dickfacedness. “The Last Leaf”…give the leaves a rest already there, BatWrite. We get it, they’re a metaphor for death and the encroaching darkness of winter and so forth. It’s like he comes up with this stuff after staring out the window all day or something.