“Author” Les Moore needs to fire “Publicist slash literary agent” Ann Apple, if the best she can do is arrange interviews like these. Gee, do you think “Ron Radio” is his “DJ name”? Pretty clever! I though Ron Radio might be modeled on Eric Bogosian in the movie/play Talk Radio, but I’m sure I’d be giving TB too much credit.
“Where’s the blurb whore?” “Oh, he’s out getting his feelings hurt some more,” answers Annie, clicking open her cigarette case. Poor Les: how can the rest of the world not feel his pain as he does? “My book, madame, is not a thing to be skimmed while driving!”
In the Funkiverse, where literary agents double as publicists, local tv presenters also direct their own shows: “O.K., I think we’re all set…when the red light comes on, look sad. Instead of looking like a smug douchebag. In five…four…three…”
“Don’t talk to me about whoring, you little wimp! I survived on the streets of New York God Damn City for years!” Anyway, do we really need to see the word “whore” in the funny papers? Especially used by Les to describe himself? We’ve seen him give one interview only to get derailed two questions in. Boo frickin’ hoo. Man up, beardo.
We know she’s a reporter because she’s holding a little notepad and pen (judging by the way she’s holding it, that could also be a chopstick ). And Les is ready for his interview: he leans suavely against the counter, the suede patch on the elbow of his professorial jacket absorbing the grease of a thousand pizzas, his eyebrows at perfect 45-degree angles…then Sweet Polly Purebred’s second question stops him dead in his tracks. I can’t figure out what Les means by “How old are you?” Is it only young journalists who ask insipid, pointless questions? Do only people who’ve lived a certain number of years comprehend cancer? Is he…hitting on her?
In the background, Apple Annie pretends to have a cell phone conversation using what is really an eyeglass case…must keep up appearances!
Looks like the Book Launch is about to commence. Funky has brought out a table skirt to transform the pizza parlor into an upscale literary den. All the significant (living) females in the Life of Les are here: long-suffering Cayla, relentless stalker Susan, dutiful daughter Summer, and his “agent slash publicist” slash former bag lady, Ann Apple. Lisa is present too (when is she not?): this time in the (somber) cover art for the book. Except for the pink color, that book cover looks kind of familiar…
It’s amazing that Apple Annie had the money for a plane ticket: apparently she owns only one outfit (that damn pink jacket).
Son of Stuck Funky 
