Tag: Mason Jarr

Jarr Jarr!

Meesa grateful!
Meesa grateful!

In today’s strip, Mason “Hollywood” Jarr thanks St. Les the Righteous Smirker for some as-yet unspecified “help.” Les’s speech balloon in panel 3 is too small to contain the text I expected: “Mason Jarr, the movie actor who was meant to portray me, Les Moore, whose one true wife died of cancer, but then couldn’t, because kill fee, and took the job of portraying Starbuck Jones in the coming Starbuck Jones film adaptation, in which Mason Jarr appears.”

Back in panel 1, with its rakish split-screen motif, Mason’s poolside phone chat illustrates why California is so much better than Ohio. Mason’s illustrator, however, has failed to pick up on recent trends in portraying action heroes. Here I’m thinking of Chris Pratt’s transformation from amiable schlub to rock-hard stud. Mason, in contrast, looks positively couchey-potatoey, gooey-wooey.

All I would have to do to become an action star is move a mere ¼ inch from reality, without logging any gym time, if this awesome guy is any proof.

Mason, Ajar

Link To Today’s Strip

Yikes, by the third panel I was expecting it to start raining pizza. Starbuck Jones, the obscure and unpopular comic book with hundreds of issues that EVERYONE is talking about. Sigh. TB obviously couldn’t help himself here, much like I couldn’t help myself with today’s post title. Had to use it as it might be Mason’s last appearance…unless…no, I don’t even want to think about that possibility right now.

Why is the guy who just quit still hanging around the place he claims to despise? Likewise, why is Mason still lurking around the set? Is Batom ever going to bother to explain the “kill fee” nonsense he spent three days babbling about? Is panel three Les the single most annoying Les drawing ever or is it just me? What is going on here? Did he officially quit? Is the production cancelled? How is it possible for anyone to be this bad at telling a coherent story and furthermore, how is it possible to get paid for it?

Paperhack “Writer”

Link To Today’s Strip

Well, TheAuthor’s gone and lost himself in one of his weird boring fantasies again and this one’s a real doozy. (I figured 40’s slang was apropos here). TomLes, lacking the ability or “real life” movie-making experience to make this “Lisa’s Story” screenplay the least bit coherent, really goes off the deep end here with his bizarre fixation on 1940s popular culture and things that makes sense only to him. I mean there are maybe ten living people who might relate to this and I guarantee you that none of them are regular FW readers because, well, duh. This might be one of the single stupidest FW strips ever and I don’t throw around statements like that lightly. Only like a hundred times a year, I’ve really cut back.

1940’s Leslie is every bit as annoying as 2014 Les is. When I read “Les” and “pulp” in the same sentence I’m not thinking about fiction, I can tell you that. More like huge industrial grinders and pulverizing machinery and such. Pulp magazines and comic books, Saturday afternoon serials at the movie house..how old IS this guy anyway? Seriously though, although this might have seemed like a great idea after a few cold low-alcohol craft beers and a Trazadone, this little fantasy probably should have been deposited in the studio wastebasket once he saw it in the harsh light of day. I mean gad-zooks, man, get on the trolley. What a maroon.

Jarring Reality

SoSFDavidO here for the next two weeks, takin’ the reins!

Every fairytale has to come to and end, and in today’s strip, Mason Jarr drops off Les in the middle of downtown Hollywood with nary a peck good night. I’m not sure what point Les is trying to make here, as I can’t think of anything much cooler than tooling around in Hollywood as a bankable star in a Porsche. So Mason has to live in an apartment and study lines for a script. Boo-hoo, woe is Mason in his beachside 2700 sq ft apartment-away-from-his-Aspen-Home. I really feel for the guy as his $80,000 car drives him and his perfect hairdo into the sunset.