Mason – Page 15 – Son of Stuck Funky

You’re Right Les, Lisa Sucked

Yay, more of one of the proudest Batiuk traditions. Being a passive-aggressive jackass about something without speaking your mind or doing anything to improve your situation.
Is Alan Silver even an actual executive, or just some guy with an office? For all I know he’s Mason’s insurance agent. He sure doesn’t seem to have any Hollywood wisdom, since I’m pretty sure people always like watching chemistry between actors, especially in a romance. I’m pretty sure it’s the one essential for a romance movie.
It’s also helpful of Alan to explain exactly who Marianne Winters is, for those people in the room who don’t already know. Oh wait.

People Don’t Love This

today’s strip Okay, we get it. China China China. The sole reason Lisa’s Story can’t be made is because the Chinese can’t appreciate true art. Why did we need a SECOND week to hammer this point home? I would love if someone in this strip just came out and explained why the Chinese can’t appreciate the beauty of Lisa’s Story, but of course that would take effort and possibly be controversial. “They Are Them” is just a terrible “parody” or whatever you want to call it of “This Is Us”. It sure sounds like a Cold War paranoia thriller, or a body-snatcher movie. It’s also pretty much nonsensical and something I don’t think anyone’s ever said. Also, Mason, This Is Us-sorry, They Are Them-is a TV show. Movies are different than TV shows. American Idol was huge. The same concept as a big budget movie would be terrible. Why is Les at these meetings again? Mason is incapable of convincing anyone to make this movie, and Les is just sitting there quietly. And he’s probably getting paid for this, somehow.

It Was About Cancer, Not The Heart, Mason

today’s strip

“It’s a romance movie! There’s never been one of those before! I mean, sure, they literally go back to 1896, but still romance! Surefire hit! And so what if the movie ends with the heroine wasting away and dying rather than finding the man of her dreams?” Does Batiuk think this is supposed to be a good pitch? Stating the genre of the movie isn’t a convincing argument for why it should be made.
Man, someone must have once told Batiuk that the only reason Hollywood hadn’t paid him nine figures to adapt Lisa’s Story was because it was Too Much Art for the masses. Or maybe that’s just what he tells himself. Although I can totally picture him calling up studio after studio until someone finally realized if they just appealed to his ego he’d leave them alone.
I would really, really love for someone in this strip to just not like Lisa’s Story. Even those who are against the spreading of the Lisa Gospel are totally convinced it’s beautiful art. Just once someone should react like a normal human would: “Wait, the lab results got mixed up somehow? And you spent how many pages on this ‘Darrin’ dork opening a letter? Why is this all about Les, it’s supposed to be ‘Lisa’s Story’?”.
Since Batiuk is just repeating the last “Lisa’s Story: The Movie” arc, how long do you think it’ll be before Alan Silver suggests Lisa not dying in the movie?

Also, if you want to laugh more than you’ve laughed at this strip (for a reason Batiuk intended), read the Wikipedia page for “four quadrant movie” and try and imagine how Lisa’s Story would be remotely close to what it describes.

That Is A Painful Face

today’s strip

I know trying to figure out the meaning of Tom Batiuk’s work these days will have the same result as looking upon a Lovecraftian Elder God, but seriously, what is the deal with Mr. Silver’s face? It’s hideous, of course, but I can’t tell if he’s supposed to be squinting or what. And if he’s never even met Mason then why does he have a poster of his Mason up in his waiting room?

I really couldn’t tell what the “free coffee” line was supposed to be. I’m guessing it’s supposed to mean people are so interested in working with Mason they buy him lots of coffee, but I thought at first Alan was hitting on Mason, since he’s pointing right at him and has that horrible expression on his face.

Oh, and Les is Mason’s sidekick. Isn’t that cute. I don’t know why Les is bowing to shake Alan’s hand, apart from the artist wanting to make sure there was room to showcase Mason and still fit that word balloon in.

Sagging Interest

Click here to meet Pookie, tied with Buddy for best FW character

What is this office they’re waiting in, where they for some reason have a poster of one of Mason’s most embarrassing movies hanging on the wall? If they have this poster up then it really, really doesn’t seem like Mason should be sitting around waiting for Mr. Silver to get off the phone.

I spent about five minutes looking up SAG health insurance requirements, because I found that way more interesting than this strip. From what I can tell, you either have to make a certain amount of money a year or work a certain number of days per year to maintain your eligibility. The amount of money you have to make is apparently $33,000 a year, which, if Mason headlined a movie but made less than $33,000 is pretty awful.

I also think it’s pretty awful that Les had no idea Mason was in this movie, even though he’s in business with Mason. But it’s par for the course of Les being all around awful.