The Invisible Man Gets A Makeover

Link to today’s strip.

Once again, Tom Batiuk goes with “tell, don’t show” and graces us with a wall of text about a (fictional, in-universe) character we’ve never even seen and care nothing about. In a strip well-known for having stupid character names, The Amazing Mister Sponge is really up there in the top ten.  Were I a super-villain (and I’m not saying I’m not), if one of my henchmen called out, “Hey boss, the Amazing Mister Sponge is after us!” why, I’d probably collapse from laughter and be unable to launch my scheme.  So maybe he does have a super-power.  I imagine it loses its effectiveness the second or third time, though, and starts being annoying.  “Why can’t one of the good heroes try and stop me?  This is embarrassing…”

It really makes me curious about how Mr. Batiuk decides on a storyline, what factors come to play that cause him to deliver…this.  Don’t you love how the episode ends on a cliff-hanger, the idea being that we’re all on pins and needles to know what Pete’s scheme is?  In reality, we know it’s going to be a crashing bore, except “crashing” implies something happening.  If this is Tom Batiuk’s depiction of the pressures of being a cartoonist, there’s a much better solution than wasting space:  retire.  Sure, you can spin your wheels until the glorious 50th, but here’s a cold hard truth.  No one is going to buy The Complete Funky Winkerbean: 2010-2015No one.

I guess one thing is that Mr. Batiuk seems to have lost any enthusiasm for drawing.  That Starbuck Jones face on the wall, for example, is a terrible drawing.  If that’s an example of Pete’s artwork, no wonder we’ve never seen this Sponge-Head.

As for the “real” characters depicted here, Darin is a bland smiling blank–the kind of image you’d see if TV stations still used “test patterns.”  And Pete has clearly been rejected from The Muppet Show for “looking too lifeless.”

Bores!

Link to today’s strip.

Well, those of you who thought we were going to get more of Les’ genius today are in for a real treat!  Because we don’t.

Instead, we have two boring characters chattering in an episode where the drawing is utterly irrelevant.  The only thing of note is how Pete’s happy(esque) expression immediately morphs into a weary mask when his own work is brought up.  Darin must know how much Pete hates his own stuff, as he lights up a rather predatory grin when switching subjects.

I can’t imagine why Tom Batiuk thinks we care at all about The Amazing Mister Sponge.  So far as I am aware, we’ve never been allowed a single peek at the character, so we know it has to be underwhelming.  Instead, we’re given a scene of two minor, dull characters talking about him.  Wow, talk about action-packed.  

And another week of crashing boredom gets fully under way.

The Dork Funk Returns

Once again, technology, not limited to and including digital cameras, emails, faxes, overnight packages and scanners don’t exist in Westview, necessitating a long car ride for Holly to visit Pete to look at some original art of Mister Sponge that she thinks she can trade for the last couple Starbucks Jones comics she needs. Wow, as today’s strip, shows, this stuff writes itself!

Actually, this isn’t a bad ploy, Holly.. not a bad ploy at all.

I mean, I someone I sort of knew showed up at my doorstep having just driven 800 miles and said their adult son who is in the military collected comic books and hey, could I give up my signed George Lucas Lightsaber so she could trade it for the last two comics he needed, I’d have to have a heart of stone to say no.

I’m betting Holly’s lip can quiver with the best of them when faced with the prospect of driving back to Ohio without the original Mister Sponge art she needs.

All of this sounds convoluted and insane. How do we even know Hagglemore *likes* or *wants* anything to do with Mr. Sponge? Sorry, lady, I only collect D.C..

You would think Holly would have at least spoken with the guy before driving across the country to hassle Pete.

Sunday, July 21

Link to today’s strip

ABOVE THE POST UPDATE

Something witty and insightful actually related to today’s strip, to be published after the strip goes live.

–or it could just be Cody, Owen, and Dead Heart John talking about crap that no one, and I mean no one, cares about.

ORIGINAL POST

Since, even with my newly-acquired superpowers, my vision cannot see through Saturday, I thought I’d muse a bit on the 50th anniversary arc we’ve just been through (and may continue on into) while waiting for Sunday to show up.

Firstly and most obviously, there weren’t any jokes.  Not even the most charitable teacher, grading on the biggest curve, could find anything that anyone outside of Tom Batiuk’s house could call “humor.”  That’s so obvious it hardly needs stating, but there is a question:  why is this?

Before we start in on personal attacks (on Tom Batiuk; you can attack me all you want, I’ve got superpowers, nyah!), I’d like to change the question:  could this have been funny?

Surprisingly, the answer is yes.  Not hilarious, not entertaining even, but I could see the humor if, and only if, certain things had been established.  That would have required some ground work prior to the arc, of course, which wasn’t there, but let’s change things just a bit…

First of all, forget how hate-able  all the characters are.  Now, imagine that instead of Harry Dinkle doing these things, it was Jack Benny.

Many of you may not know who Jack Benny was (though I am older than the stars, I never heard his radio show) but his “comic persona” was that of an determined cheapskate.  An affable, amiable, even helpful cheapskate, but a man who parted with a penny only after all other alternatives were exhausted.

Everyone on his radio show was aware of this, and acknowledged it openly.  In this context, the idea of Benny taking his long-time girlfriend to an inexpensive anniversary party at the cheap dump they go to every week becomes kind of funny.  The girlfriend would be appalled yet not want to say anything, the gathered friends would be feeling the same, and when he said he wanted her to “put out,” he’d open up his wallet for her to contribute.

The height of hilarity?  Of course not.  But I can see the humor.

The problem, of course, is that Funky Winkerbean‘s Harry is not presented as a cheap miser.  He’s presented as a beloved father-figure; the very idea of an anniversary party at Montoni’s is not discouraged, but lauded as magnanimous.  Harry’s persona is entirely wrong for this kind of story.  Had he been presented as he’s perceived by readers–cheap, selfish and egotistical–than this whole arc would have some potential.  Viz:

Just as not funny as regular, but at least with a punchline.

I’ll be first to admit the above isn’t funny.  But it does have an actual punchline that makes sense in context of Harry’s character.

It’s a pity in a way, because if Tom Batiuk had taken the time to establish (or acknowledge) some negative traits for his characters, the overall level of humor…well, let’s not go overboard.  Let me say that it least it wouldn’t be below sea-level.

As another example, take Les Moore.  Please.  (Ha ha…ha?)  If he were presented as a semi-talented nebbishy dweeb, his “home run” at writing such a terrible teleplay would be seen as a funny over-estimation of his abilities.  Similarly, the fact that both Susan and Cayla found him attractive could have been the source of some humor.  That was not to be, though, as the one attempt was viciously slapped down (“I screwed up” “Yes, you did”) in order to demonstrate Les’ obvious (to TB) appeal.

So, thanks for your indulgence on this fine Sunday morning.  As for today’s strip, why, let’s just take a look, and…oh good grief.

The More You "NO!!"

(Long post! Click here to jump directly to comments!)

Before we announce the winner…here are the runners-up!

BeckoningChasm
March 22, 2013 at 2:20 am
Let’s have a contest. Who would be the lamest person unmasked as The Lord of The Late? This being Funky Winkerbean, the possibilities are endless. Funky? Frankie? Fred? Montoni? Pizza? Hatred? Chien? Doctor Octopus?

Rusty
March 22, 2013 at 12:25 am
Dead Lisa is everywhere.

Epicus Doomus
March 22, 2013 at 12:41 am
It’d be equally hilarious if LOTL was Batom himself and it’d probably make more sense than whoever it’ll actually be…

O.B. Dan
March 22, 2013 at 2:16 am
Pizza Twat!

Helskor
March 22, 2013 at 6:54 am
It’s the sentient computer from Act I.

Beanie Wanker
March 22, 2013 at 7:22 am
…consider this: LOTL wears a hoodie. Summer wears a hoodie. Anyone seen Summer since she went off to K*nt state?.

saturnino
March 22, 2013 at 7:42 am
Ed Crankshaft.

bad wolf
March 22, 2013 at 10:13 am
I’ll take…Durwood at 1:1. “That’s weird, why am I dreaming about holding down my high school friend in such a homoerotic manner?”

jackson53d
March 22, 2013 at 10:16 am
Come On Guys – It has to be “Evil” “Obama” from the “Bible

Jimmy
March 22, 2013 at 10:20 am
You’re all wrong. It’s Stan Lee, defending quality comics everywhere from the likes of Pete and Tommy.

Bill A
March 22, 2013 at 7:43 am
It’s Colonel Mustard in the library with a hammer…

BeckoningChasm
March 22, 2013 at 10:27 am
I think I’ll go with Dead Comic Book John…

Señor Tortilla
March 22, 2013 at 10:59 am
I’m going with Aquaman.

$$$Westview Oncologist$$$
March 22, 2013 at 2:28 pm
Surprised nobody has brought up Ming the Merciless as a possibility.

As always, your suggestions are more entertaining…and no less plausible…than the actual denouement, which most of you had to have seen coming, even as you suggested/hoped for other scenarios:

TheDiva
March 22, 2013 at 12:04 am
It’s Pete himself–oops! Didn’t mean to spoil this shocking twist to anybody who hasn’t seen The Empire Strikes Back or a single episode of The Twilight Zone.

sourbelly
March 22, 2013 at 1:09 am
Wait, LOTL is basically just wearing a blue hoodie. Can’t Pete already see his face? And yeah, The Diva, it’s probably Pete staring back at himself. If not, well, whatever.

Señor Tortilla
March 22, 2013 at 8:39 am
It would probably be Pete, which makes no sense but it’s a lame way out (“it was me all along!”). Then again, it only makes sense at this point.

The good news in all of this is that this concludes this arc (I hope!), and that we’ve seen the last of the Lord of the Late. The bad news, of course, is that Pete just killed off the source of his “best” story ideas, and the ensuing creative drought will force him to move back to Westview, where he’ll spend the rest of his days playing video games with Owen and Alex at Komix Korner.