If we hadn’t seen those same little hashmarks under tired Becky’s eyes yesterday, I’d propose that Wally had taken to beating up Rachel. But now we understand that those little lines are sort of a visual shorthand for tired and/or stressed. Why would Black Friday be an especially busy day at Montoni’s? Westview doesn’t appear to be a shopping mecca, unless you’re buying comic books.
Children’s Motrin: like Colt 45, it works every time. Robbie’s out like a light, and now Mom gets to enjoy a little “me” time. And we, the readers, are subjected to “TB time”, in which years either pass by in a day, or, more likely, a single day can last a week or more. Guess that slip of paper from Becky wasn’t a hit man’s phone number, but a web address. Gee: do you think it was anything to do with puppies?
A reader named Ray commented on an earlier post, and I thought it was worth “bumping” his comment to today’s post because it’s pretty astounding:
Ray
November 9, 2010 at 7:18 pmIf I had to guess, the “Funky Fedora” is being tipped to [Susan Cash, marketing manager of KSU Press, and Mickey Ciriello, owner of Luigi’s Restaurant in Akron] from when TB had his book signing for “The Other Shoe” at Luigi’s (in 2007). Seems like a long time has passed to offer said thanks, but who am I to judge?
A tip o’ the SoSF derby to you, Ray, for this mind-blowing bit of information! -TFH
As LesFest mercifully draws to a close, Funky lets the Cold Duck flow like champagne. As an alcoholic, he probably should delegate that task to someone else, but I guess since Funky was able to walk away from that vodka and orange, he is officially immune. Someone goes over to the Wurlitzer and fires up a sweet old Hank Williams song.
Darling let’s turn back the years
And go back to yesterday
Let’s go back even further: to the nerdiest wedding in history, the nuptial of Lisa (aka Robin the Boy Wonder) and Les (aka Batman) Moore.
Let’s pretend that time has stopped
And I didn’t go away
But honey, if you didn’t “go away”, I’d have nothing to write about, and I wouldn’t have all of northeastern Ohio lining up to kiss my ass.
We had our love to make us happy
I’m assuming that’s a younger, more svelte Funky dressed as gay Spiderman, deftly deflecting the bridal bouquet towards future first wife Cindy Summers (shown here still sporting her narwhal-like hairstyle).
It wasn’t meant to bring us tears
Of course, this being the Funkiverse, everything brings us tears. But I’m not going to waste time crying over Crazy Harry’s awful Fat Elvis “impersonation”, or the fact that Ann Apple’s pink jacket has turned blue.
Love like ours should never die
So darling let’s turn back the years
Let’s all raise a can of ginger ale to Les. And for the love of God, can we move on to a different plotline?
Wishing everybody a Halloween that is much less lame than the one depicted here!
–TFH
It’s funny because she’s a blonde. I guess. I wish I had a nickel for every time Les came off like a smug, condescending, egotistical asshole.
It says more about Les than it does about Cayla and Susan: if he was really worth hooking up with, they’d be catfighting to the death to be by his side. Instead, each is content to let the other hang around as they take turns lathering his massive (and massively undeserved) ego.
I, for one, would be delighted to witness a “Spinal Tap moment” at this book signing. Not only was Spinal Tap a hilarious movie, it totally took the piss out of self-important artistés such as this “author”
Son of Stuck Funky 
