Tag: Starbuck Jones

Comical Tragedy

Back to Starbuck’s Jones’ arc in today’s strip! The good news is, there is only two more comics to go, and both appear to be owned by Chester Hagglemore, who apparently needs a moniker despite the fact his last name is a pun.

Holly looks a bit green around the gills at the news, and considering she just took out a second mortgage on the house to pay for the last issue of Starbucks Jones I can’t blame her. She’s probably already wondering what Funky’s spleens would go for, or if her womanly charms could persuade Chester out of these last two issues.

Tactics of Conquest

Link To Today’s Strip

I always thought the term was “poaching” and not “sandbagging,” but what do I know?  I certainly don’t have a Pulitzer nomination on my shelf.  I would also think that someone snatching a last-minute prize wouldn’t “snipe”* it, but now I’m just getting all beady-eyed.

Judging by Harry and John’s wild gesticulation, the Starbuck Jones saga is something they find quite engaging.  And it serves as a good illustration of one of Funky Winkerbean‘s problems:  telling and not showing.  Stories about people in comic books can be very entertaining, since those people are usually doing things or plotting to do things.  Stories about people collecting comic books are not interesting.  At all.  Especially when they consist entirely of “I’m looking for an issue,” “Oh, well, here you are, then” stretched out over a week.   As pointed out some time ago by BillyTheSkink (thanks Billy!), it’s the reverse of Monty Python’s “Cheese Shop” sketch.

What would be funny (in a rather “meta” sense of course) would be if the object of Holly’s quest wasn’t Starbuck Jones but instead something more in keeping with the general tenor of Funky Winkerbean.  To wit:

Holly:  “Good morning, I’m looking for a particular comic for my son, who’s serving in Khahnistan.”

Wensleydale:  “Certainly, ma’am, we’re a comic shop.  What would you like?”

Holly:  “Have you got volume nine of the complete newspaper Spider-Man?”

Wensleydale:  “Ooo–that’s the one where he sits on the couch while his wife works, right?  And the other Marvel heroes keep saving him?  And there’s the special Sunday strip where he almost orders a pizza but stops himself at the last minute?  That’s a fairly rare item, I’m afraid.”

Newspaper Spider-Man and Funky Winkerbean are made for each other.

Speaking of artwork, initially, it looks to me as though the colorist here got Tom Batiuk’s notes in the wrong order.  You’d think the second panel would be the one shrouded in an all-encompassing darkness.    That is how my favorite character, the Pouncing Darkness, rolls in this strip.  On the other hand, we all know Holly’s going to get this issue no matter what, so perhaps Tom’s doing a bit of subtle foreshadowing by having panel two suddenly brighten.

Hey, it could happen.

*Seriously, check out definition 6 on that page.

 

The Men Inside

 

Link To Today’s Strip

Forget those first two panels–that smug smirk at the far right is the real Funky Winkerbean pay-dirt.  Ol’ Harry Lunaire is about to start lecturatin’ the folks all about the ways of them comical-book hunters.

You can see he is of a mind to speak on the matter; it’s too bad he’s not smoking a pipe so he can thoughtfully puff on it a couple of times before waving it to illustrate his points.

Other than that, I’m somewhat surprised to discover that the Komix Korner is large enough to have two windows.  My previous impression is that it was little larger than a shoebox.  A shoebox that holds someone’s bug collection.  And, lastly, there’s the expression on John’s face in panel three.

That is an absolute masterpiece of sheer, unadulterated boredom.   God, are you still here?  And still talking, on and on?  I am so sorry I asked you anything, John thinks.

And, well, that’s about all I can say.  I mean, how long was the last conversation you had with someone who started with, “I just bid on a comic book on eBay”?

In The Enclosure

Link To Today’s Strip

So: another week of “Holly gets a valuable comic book for free, because Cory.”  Unless we’re going to be treated to s Super-special two-week storyline!  You can tell it’s going to be special, because Fred Flintstone has put on his space helmet in panel two!

Also in today’s episode, Holly finally yields to the voices in her head (otherwise known as Son of Stuck Funky Commentators) and decides to try her luck on eBay.

And I’m going to say, there’s really no way this is going to be interesting.

Those of you who remember Peanuts might recall that one of the ongoing bits was Charlie Brown’s eternal quest to get a Joe Shlabotnik baseball card.  Despite spending lots of time and money in the pursuit, he never got one.  Others, Lucy in particular, got them with ease, and then refused to trade them, leaving Charlie Brown depressed once again.

It might shock Tom Batiuk to hear this, but the baseball card was never the point.  It was simply a prop used to illustrate Charlie Brown’s character; despite Fate’s eternal campaign against him, he never gave up his quest.  Determination in the face of adversity was one of Chuck’s fine qualities.

Notice how this storyline suffers by comparison.  It is all about the comic book.  Despite this arc’s eternally ongoing length, Holly’s quest has changed her not a whit.  (I’m sure she would protest otherwise–after all, she’d say, she now uses terms like “geek.”  Well, woo-hoo.)

No, Holly is always Holly.  She remains a non-entity to whom Fate hands things, with never a drop of blood or an honest day’s sweat on her part.

 

A Streetcar Named Starbuck Jones

Beloved snarkers! I’ve wrested control once again of the good ship SoSF to kick off the gala 4th Anniversary Celebration! My most sincere thanks to DavidO, Beckoning Chasm, Epicus Doomus, and Oddnoc for taking their respective turns in the barrel and helping me bring you daily snark on the cultural blight institution that is Fvnkivs Winkerbeanvs. And special thanks to you, reader, for coming along on this painful and frustrating journey!

As is the case with all Sunday FW strips, today’s strip was not available for preview. But I’m going to go waaayyyy out on a limb here and predict that you’ll have to turn your computer sideways to view it: the Starbucks Jones cover that we glimpsed on Friday. Snark away!

Updated: Yup, called it.