Starbuck Jones – Page 51 – Son of Stuck Funky

Starbuck Surprise

Wait until the cackling corporal learns that Starbuck Jones numero uno was once under his very own roof…until his idiot of a step-father sold it to save his crumbling pizza empire. Look at him there in panel three…he’s nearly as punchable as Les with those eyebrows, that sneer and the wild gesticulating. If he continues his incredible rise through the army’s ranks I think there’s little doubt he’ll eventually be “fragged”, which is military slang for “being killed by your own men on purpose because everyone hates you”.

Man, the big Starbuck Jones collection mega-arc was just astoundingly anti-climactic. No one can “frag” his own premise better than Batominc can. I mean yeah, it isn’t actually over yet but then again it pretty much is, you know?

Corporal Cory’s Conundrum

Link to today’s strip

One has to wonder why Holly went to the trouble of shipping that comic book to Cory in Afghanistan if he was only going to come home and stash it a few weeks later anyway. One also wonders how someone “writing” a story like this would manage to overlook that rather glaring lapse of logic…unless you’re a regular FW reader, that is. Because if you are, you not only understand completely, but you wouldn’t settle for anything less. Or more, as the case may be.

“Holly purchases SJ comics for Cory” is the only moving part in this glacially paced little tale, so it was very helpful of The Corporal to once again explain via some clunky expository dialog that he is still a SJ collector who’s missing a few key issues, as that fact might have gotten lost amidst all that holiday excitement. Such a fine young man and so fortunate to have a mom who took a sincere interest in his hobbies as soon as he was 12,000 miles away. And with a gal like Rocky behind him there’s just no telling how high Cory could fly…teacher, pizza shop owner, comic book store guy…such a limitless future.

Got to Have a Jones for This, Jones for That

I hope Cory survives Afghanistan long enough to enjoy his complete Starbuck Jones collection: at this rate it will take Holly until June to round up all seven issues. Today’s comic cover comes courtesy of Batiuk’s fellow midwesterner, Bob Layton. Naturally, TB applies his own magic touch, weirdly inserting the robot from Joe Staton’s SJ #7 cover at the top. As for the bottom: Holly shows off her newly acquired comics-grading vocabulary, fat Funky’s thoughts immediately turn to food, and the rest of us shudder to think what else John might have in his collection with pages that are “aged and creamy”.

Nothing for Christmas

bad wolf
December 11, 2013 at 8:23 am
I was never a real collector, at best i would pick up ‘reading copies’ (the cheapest available–funny how DSH doesn’t mention that possibility to a customer).

(Hat tip to bad wolf, whose Dec. 11 comment I’ve been quoting for three days running.)

So Dead Skunk Head John was holding out all along. After befuddling and boring Holly all week with his collector’s jargon, lo and behold, the second of the seven mystical SJ covers is revealed.

Howard and Nester
December 12, 2013 at 12:04 am
Day 4 and there are still no comics in frame in this soi disant comic store…This is starting to get creepy.

As it happens, yours truly had occasion to visit a bona fide comic store today to get a secret Santa gift for a coworker. This guy happens to be a comics fan who incidentally seems reasonably mature and well-adjusted. So at lunchtime I took me to NYC’s Midtown Comics. I was really tempted to ask if they had any Starbuck Jones, but the staff was pretty busy and surely had no time for my foolishness. Still: comic books (and other wares) were clearly on display and available for perusal and purchase. And nary a chullo, goth chick or dead skunk head in sight.

Across the Funkiverse

Holly’s Komix Kwest 4 Kory has yet to take her beyond the Westview city limits. Today she browbeats Crazy Harry into revisiting the humiliating circumstances that led him to sell off his most prized possessions. You’d think Harry might know whether or not Komix Korner has sold his Starbuck Jones comic, given that Harry now works there.