Tag Archives: time travel

Through The Boredom Of Future Past

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The artwork is just awesome today. I like how everything is just blackness, it reflects the content of the author’s mind so effectively. Is this a record for “most individual word balloons in a single-panel FW strip”? If not, please do NOT show me the current record holder.

If Harry hasn’t tried out the time pool how does he know it works? Why is Lisa all hunched over like she’s freezing cold? If I were her I’d get that checked out. Twice. Why does she want to visit 1990? Isn’t that just a tad unambitious of her? Why does Holly assume they’ll all be “long gone” by 2015? Ooops, yeah that’s right, I almost forgot. And isn’t it really 2025 in the Funkyverse? Or are we now officially ignoring the infamous “time jump”? Then there’s the biggest question of them all…are they EVER going to actually do this thing or will they spend another week talking about it instead? Talk about plodding.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Dick Face’s annoying propensity for bringing everyone and everything down. Even then he was such a dick. The guy discovers a time pool and he’s already finding ways for it to fail. He’s nothing if not consistent. Truly a dick for the ages, a timeless asshole whose annoyingness spans decades.

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We Don’t Call Him Batty For Nothing

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Hey gang, it is I, Epicus, ready to steer the S.S. SoSF through a magical journey where time and newsprint collide in a cavalcade of…well, not really. It’s just another whacked-out FW arc. But still.

Apparently the muttering mailman comic book store lackey Harry is mindlessly jabbering about some sort of “time pool” he had stashed in his super-secret high school locker. Wonder if there’s a Pulitzer in there? Probably not….ZING! Just when you didn’t think it would be possible for the huge reunion arc to get any dumber, here you go. If you were born after 1980 this probably makes no sense whatsoever to you, but trust me, by the end of the week it won’t be much clearer.

In case you’ve already forgotten about the last time travel arc, Funky went into a coma after turning down a vodka and orange after dumping Pa Bean at Bedside Manor, during which he visited his younger self and advised his younger self to purchase a copy of “Starbuck Jones” #1, which he used to save his business after cocking it all up somehow (which happened way before the coma, BTW). Then that bit of drollery was forgotten and all of a sudden SJ # 576 (or whatever) was the priceless collectible one. I know, but seriously, that’s how it happened. Betcha this one is WAY better than that one was!!!

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Lockerpalooza

Harry suddenly seems confused and agitated and is speaking nonsensically, suggesting a neurological or psychotic event. Holly, rather than becoming alarmed, calmly and resignedly responds. She’s seen it before: not only for countless hours standing behind the counter as Harry guzzled free coffee and held court in Montoni’s, but even back in high school, where he was constantly doing weird shit like inviting the gang into his locker.

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Paperhack “Writer”

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Well, TheAuthor’s gone and lost himself in one of his weird boring fantasies again and this one’s a real doozy. (I figured 40’s slang was apropos here). TomLes, lacking the ability or “real life” movie-making experience to make this “Lisa’s Story” screenplay the least bit coherent, really goes off the deep end here with his bizarre fixation on 1940s popular culture and things that makes sense only to him. I mean there are maybe ten living people who might relate to this and I guarantee you that none of them are regular FW readers because, well, duh. This might be one of the single stupidest FW strips ever and I don’t throw around statements like that lightly. Only like a hundred times a year, I’ve really cut back.

1940’s Leslie is every bit as annoying as 2014 Les is. When I read “Les” and “pulp” in the same sentence I’m not thinking about fiction, I can tell you that. More like huge industrial grinders and pulverizing machinery and such. Pulp magazines and comic books, Saturday afternoon serials at the movie house..how old IS this guy anyway? Seriously though, although this might have seemed like a great idea after a few cold low-alcohol craft beers and a Trazadone, this little fantasy probably should have been deposited in the studio wastebasket once he saw it in the harsh light of day. I mean gad-zooks, man, get on the trolley. What a maroon.

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