Westview High School – Page 106

Frequent Fryer

Funky_Winkerbean.20110109 — Click to view larger

And you thought the Book Tour was over? I wonder how Principal Nate is feeling now about giving Les unlimited personal days?

I thought Les was getting “fried” too, when he got that courtesy call from his dead wife. But as far as we know, he never shared that incident with his daughter. Instead, Les apparently regaled her with stories about how he behaved like a complete asshole, annoying lowly, hard-working security personnel, newsstand vendors and flight attendants, everywhere he went.

I wonder if he tried the Spinal Tap foil-wrapped-cucumber-down-the-pants trick?

Houston? We Have a Problem

In case we didn’t pick up from last week’s strips that Les’ fame extends beyond Westview, Ohio, Keisha helpfully hammers home the point that this book tour is national, bitches. Summer’s glee over her father’s long-overdue success triggers a face-morph: not only do her beady little eyes light up, but her eyebrows suddenly thicken, her chin recedes, and she manifests an overbite. This startling transformation is lost on Cody and Owen as they pass by in the background, seemingly joined at the hip. Meanwhile, deep in the heart of Houston, Texas, Les struggles with getting his laptop hooked up to a projector. Where’s his “wife Mike” when Les needs him?

What the hell is Les doing in Houston, anyway? Yesterday he was in New York, on the set of the Today show, and Saturday he was calling Cayla from San Diego (there were palm trees in the background, so he sure wasn’t calling from NYC). Batiuk seemed to be hinting at a plotline involving John Darling’s widow Jan, a producer for Today, getting him booked on the show. Appearing on national TV would be a major milestone in an author’s career, but The Creator spends one day on it…SMDH (shaking my damn head)…

Today To-d'ohh

Usually when we see the students of Westview in a classroom setting, their facial expressions suggest boredom, stupidity, or lack of sleep. This morning, however, they are all smiles: not only is Mrs. Bushka letting them watch TV, but their hero, hell, everyone’s hero, Mr. Moore, is on the Today show! Judging from the image on the (black and white?) TV, his interviewer is neither Meridith nor Matt. The snarkers who suggested Les would be relegated to hour four of the Today show were right: only Kathie Lee would be dumb enough to flub the title of the book her guest is there to promote. Her classmates’ smiles turn to looks of disbelief, but Summer takes the indignity of hearing her late mother’s name misremembered in stride. She responds not with outrage but with a smirk, and with another entry for the Batiuktionary!

Think Globally, Act Not at All

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20101205&name=Funky_Winkerbean — Click to view larger

In a town full of miserable schmucks, there is no one who despises his lot in life more than science teacher Jim Kablichnik. Back in Act II, Jim seemed to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I can recall some strips with him sharing some theories with fellow faculty members that made him sound like he was ready for a tinfoil hat. Batiuk seems to have taken him off that track (although Jim occasionally presents some OCD traits), and instead uses Jim as a vehicle to express his own opinions on intelligent design and climate change. Lately however, Mr. Kablichnik just lives for snow days. He is frankly the best argument I’ve heard against tenure.

Date-Les

See: Les was so used to rejection that he didn’t even hear Lisa accept his invitation to the prom. We liked nerdy, self-conscious, pocket-protector totin’ Les back then. These days, he’s so full of himself that he regales rooms full of strangers with his boring and tragic life story. These days, Les is an insufferable prick.