writing – Page 6 – Son of Stuck Funky

Incom-Pete-nce

Welcome to CloudFunkyCuckooLand, folks. Batiuk has at long last thrown off the bowlines and sailed away at last from the harbor of continuity and logic.

Sure, the editors tasked him with taking Mister Sponge in a “darker and grittier” direction, but the clone idea was Pete’s own, and he enthusiastically sold it to his bosses. When, as they anticipated, controversy ensues, his editors reassure Pete that his story has “lit up the internet” and put sales of their comic book “over the moon.” They outline a plan (presumably involving Pete) to further boost revenue by spinning the one title into three. When Pete predictably complains about the increased workload (his current output is already enough to trigger Pete’s psychoses), his nerdbosses calmly throw him overboard in favor of the Netbusters guy.

Suddenly jobless and 400 miles from home, Pete is concerned not for himself but for the “poor readers,” represented by Owen in a panel 3 which presumably takes place months hence: the same Owen who was devastated to learn that his absorbent and yellow and porous hero had been “retcloned” has dutifully shelled out for all three of the resulting comics and pronounces them “cool.”

Petebusters

It’s Badly Drawn Beard Guy’s turn to speak. Mega Comics has “leaked the news” (no doubt via an anonymous Tweet) of the coming Spongeclone Saga, and cover artists are fighting over the gig like it’s Starbuck Jones. Naturally, Pete immediately balks at the prospect of tripling his workload—it takes all his strength to produce one monthly comic, let alone three! His superiors, no doubt acutely aware of Pete’s goldbrick tendencies, have already brought in an acclaimed and expeienced comic book writer “a guy who’s written a movie script for Netbusters,” which avid hate-readers of Batiuk’s strips will know is where members of the Crankshaft household rent their movies. No doubt TB means to suggest that a “Netbusters” movie is barely a notch above “straight to cell phone.”

City of Tiny Lites

Mason Jarr the movie star is nothing if not wistful. During his Ohio sojourn, he remarked that Westview reminded him of his dear old hometown, while tonight the lights of L.A. remind him of Christmas. They kinda remind me of the backdrop of the Johnny Carson-era Tonight Show.

We’re treated to another glimpse of Batiuk’s understanding of How the Movie Industry Works: the movie Mason was signed to star in last summer is slated for production “this year” (well that’s vague enough), but, as happened with the ill-fated Lust for Lisa telepic, the script still needs work. It’s certain that Les, who wore out his Hollywood welcome on his first try, won’t get the call. Perhaps Mason should offer to write the script, seeing as how he must now be an expert on Starbuck Jones.

All Dried Up

Ow, my neck. Ok, now that that’s out of the way, today’s strip is a closer look at the cover that was hinted at in yesterday’s panel one, just in glorious color. I wish there was an in-browser way to rotate this but it looks like we’re just all going to have to cock our heads.

A few thoughts:

You’re on issue 57, and most superheros don’t get a sidekick until the writers are out of ideas. It’s the comic equivalent of when a TV sitcom writer turns to another and says: “Have we done the ‘stuck in an elevator’ bit yet? It happens to most heroes, and usually it’s pretty clear heroes are kinda more bad-ass on their own than with a partner and we never see the sidekick again.

I’m looking at you, Rover.

Pete is so worried his readers are going to hate him for killing Absorbing Jr but if he thinks that’s an issue, just wait until he brings lil’ Spongy back with a lame time-travel or ‘it was all a dream’ cop-out.

SpongeBlah

It’s been bothering me for a while now; Pete looks like someone famous but I can never remember who. With the profile view in tonight’s strip it hit me!

Only Howard Cosell looks less like a melting waxwork figure.

In any case, Pete still can’t see the upside of getting the chance to work on a truly epic story arc in the canon of Mr. Sponge and instead continues moping as if he’s tasked with actually killing someone off in real life with his bare hands.

You’re a writer , Pete, and from the way you’ve been played up, the last great dreamer. Surely you can figure out how to bring Sponge Jr. back. Besides, it’s comics! You can basically pull a Simpson’s reset with the barest of explanations and readers will take it. How do you think Superman survived a storyline like this?

I haven’t read it but Superman probably hit Jimmy in the head with a rock and gave him amnesia. I’m sure Westview’s boy genius can figure something out.