It's Called "Right" -ing

S.P. Charles
August 1, 2011 at 12:09 am

So we’re going to spend a day on each of Les’s (probably stupid) questions?

If he “gets” the part about movie, TV and theater rights, what’s not to get about electronic media? If you think that we, the readers are in for a rough week, query how Ann Apple must feel, having to entertain Les’ doucheball questions. I, for one, would love to see Lisa’s Story: The Video Game…in 3-D!

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0 responses to “It's Called "Right" -ing

  1. sourbelly

    “Lisa’s Story,” the ANYTHING?

  2. S.P. Charles

    Or infinitely worse: Lisa’s Story: The Comic Strip

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Yeah, “Lisa’s Story…The Game” where the object is to die while doing as little as possible. “Oh no, the remission ray! Gotta get to Montoni’s to lower my immune system points! Better get to the park bench and save so I don’t have to do that superhero wedding level again. Oh, shit, I’m still alive, now I have to put her in ghost mode and play as Les, yuck”.

    Uh, Les, it’s probably a standard option agreement they send to everyone, highly doubtful that they sat down and tailored one to your specific situation. Unlike Westview, “Hollywood” doesn’t revolve entire around you and your mutterings.

    What this strip needs is a character who’ll walk in, smack Les in the mouth, grab him by the collar and yell, “either sign it or don’t, right now, because this is the last time we’re going to talk about that f*cking book. Are we clear?”. But there isn’t one because Bull was turned into an emasculated, fat wuss years ago.

  4. Jeffcoat Wayne

    Will using the “Lisa’s Story” cell phone app increase one’s chances of developing brain cancer?

  5. Lisa’s Story: The Musical?

  6. billytheskink

    That’s not too far-fetched Pookster. According to the Unofficial FW Fan Page there was a John Darling musical, and we all know how that ended.

    Meanwhile, in another strip, welcome events are taking place:

  7. Harold

    Lisa’s Story: The Chronicles of a Douchebag.

  8. sourbelly

    billytheskink: I’d love to see Cully Vale set loose in Westview. Well done!

  9. Confuzzled by Funky

    Lisa’s Story (A Modern Trilogy):
    “Fellowship of the Bench”
    “The Two Women”
    “Return of the Dweeb”

  10. Miskatonic Sophomore

    Lisa’s Story: The MMORPG
    Lisa’s Story: The Theme Park Ride
    Laser Lisa’s Story at the Cleveland Planetarium
    Lisa’s Story Souvenir Holographic Slurpee Cups
    Asteroid 2011 ZX997 lisasstory
    Newly discovered ant species Oecophylla lisastorii

  11. Flummoxicated

    First there was “Lisa’s Story in 3-D”. Then there was “Lisa’s Story, the Video Game.” I just can’t get enough of Les’ wit! What will he think of next? Maybe tomorrow he will talk about sequels, which will prompt him to ask about “Lisa’s Story, Part 2: Electric Boogaloo”!

  12. Jeffcoat Wayne

    I hope Les doesn’t forget to approve the tie-in promotion with McDonald’s Kids Meals. Open your Happy Meal box to find a chemo Lisa pencil eraser, wacky Les glasses, wind-up death mime, and poseable Les doll with 3 action phrases (“I wrote a book about John Darling!”, “Lisa… my precious…”, and a high-pitched wail). Collect all 4!

  13. John

    Les: “My first question about the Book Launch Tour Movie Option Contracts based on the story of Lisa, my wife who died of cancer, concerns the rights.”

    Ann: “Uh-huh.”

    Les: “Why does it mention media that didn’t exist back in the good ol’ days? Why does it bring up the possibility of NEW media being invented?!? This frightens me! It frightens me so much! New media are EVIL! New media forced Susan to quit her job! New media…BRRR! I’m so scared!”

    Ann: “Les, technology progresses. It’s a fact. Either accept that or decline the co-”

    Les: “HELL NO I WON’T ACCEPT THAT! New media is stupid and evil, because it jus…jush…ish…hold on…uhhh…one shhide of mah fashhh….going shhhlack…”

    *Les has the fatal stroke everyone who ever knew him fully expected him to have*

  14. TheDiva

    Les, just stop right now. You didn’t write The Girl With A Dragon Tattoo, Hunger Games, or even God-damn Twilight. You wrote Sentimental Cancer Story #612, and the one studio that has expressed interest in it doesn’t really care if they pay the couple thousand dollars for the option to you or to the author of Sentimental Cancer Story #613. If you don’t like the boilerplate contract they sent you, don’t sign it and move on. I’ll even allow you to smugly pat yourself on the back about how you “stuck to your guns” and “didn’t compromise your integrity,” because that will take much less time than watching you nitpick every single clause.

  15. Jimmy

    One area where Les excels: bringing out the quality snark from you folks.

  16. Jimmy

    Holy Crap! Did anyone check out Comics Curmudgeon today? Josh points you to a story highlighting Osama bin Laden’s code name during the Navy SEAL raid.

    I suspect TomBat is extremely flattered by it.

  17. This is much more offensive than the simply bad writing FW normally subjects us to. Batom has crossed the line. This is just boring.

  18. Riff Chick

    so now we can add “Attorney” to the title of Agent/Publicist/Formerly Homeless Woman Apple Annie?

  19. John

    Yes. And stay tuned for the end of the week, when “nanny” is added! Les will ask her for a glass of milk, a cookie, and help wiping up after a visit to the facilities.

  20. John

    I should also note:

    You can twist it however you want, Tom, but I doubt even the most ardent fan would be with Les on his oh-so-deep angst over this. You keep pretending that this is something awful. But. It. Is. NOT.

    Stop lying.

    If Les -really- didn’t want to deal with the still-nameless producer and non-identified…um…studio? Production company? (funny how you still haven’t bothered to establish that) have said no long, LONG before now.

    He wants the money. And guess what? There’s nothing wrong with that.

    There is NOTHING WRONG WITH A SINGLE FATHER WANTING TO ENSURE HIS DAUGHTER’S SECURITY AND WELL-BEING.

    You’re making me so MAD, Tom.

    Les thinks it’s violating Lisa’s sacred memory? Well, then. He wouldn’t have written the book in the first place, would he? And he certainly wouldn’t be going on endless tours to promote it.

    Stop being a phony, Tom.

    Your character won’t come off as greedy if he acts like a normal, sensible human being.

    Acting the way he is now, Les comes off as a stupid, unbearable jackass.

    Stop trying to pretend this is misfortune, instead of you once again rewarding your favorite character.

    Integrity? No. He’s being a whiner, a grump, and a bad father. Typical for Les, I’ll admit.

    But you keep claiming and claiming he’s something better.

    He wants to be paid, and paid well, but he also wants to pretend that being paid is a trial? Fine. Just stop showing it in-strip, ’cause we’re not buying it.

  21. Epicus Doomus

    The guy never stops complaining. Choosing the book cover was a big chore, then he wasn’t sure about having the big launch party at Montoni’s, then he bitched about having to do interviews, then he whined about having to travel to signings and deal with the public. As far as I can remember, the only time in recent memory when he appeared even slightly happy was when he was bagging on Susan as she was quitting.

    The truly staggering thing about all this it’s only a SMALL PART of why Les is so despised.

  22. Sgt. Saunders

    Remarkable, billytheskink. Not only do I get to hate on Les Moore, I get to see Cully Vale. Bravo Zulu.

  23. Sgt. Saunders

    Stay tuned. Cottonelle presents Lisa’s Story, the asswipe.

  24. la gata loca

    Yes indeedy, Angry Lisa’s coming to your phone soon! Wasting time was never before so depressing! Bonus rounds include crashing jets into book launch parties and tepid signings.

  25. Lisa’s Story: the Video Game. The creators of “Farmville” are probably shaking in their shoes.