Paging Deathmask

Did you hear that? No, I’m not talking about the clumsily put “Darrin’s mother Lisa.” line, I’m talking about the whisper of Death, blowing across Westview, summoned by none other than Pa Pizza himself!

Deathy McKillerson may have to brush off his best tux from the look of things in Today’s strip, but it’s hard to tell if the last panel is supposed to be foreshadowing to a massive pepperoni-induced heart attack or just a joke that fell flat.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “Paging Deathmask

  1. Sgt. Saunders

    So the Montoni’s delivery vehicle belongs to Durwood. That explains how he can pretend haul down a big time salary as the Montoni’s IT Pro/Hotshot. He supplements his earnings by delivering pizzas. And yeah. “His mother, Lisa”.

  2. Jeffcoat Wayne

    “Darin’s mother Lisa.” Thanks for clarifying that information, jackass.

  3. And yet, you still keep coming back rather than enjoying retirement in Florida. What is this strange hold Westview has on people that makes them return against reason or inclination?

  4. Epicus Doomus

    Holy shit this Batom guy is absolutely Lisa-happy all of a sudden. Once again he slaps adoptees everywhere right across the face with his Lisa glove, too. Hey, f*ckhead, Lisa was Derpin’s mother for twenty f*cking minutes and only then because you needed to amp up the spastic “drama” another notch while your beloved character was sitting on the porch dying. So how about sticking that “Darin’s mother Lisa” horseshit right up your tired, derivative ass? F*cking absolutely shameless Batiuksturbation.

    And WTF, Boy Lisa delivers pizzas too? I thought he was Montoni’s app/tech guy? So Darin and Jessica (and baby makes three) are living off pizza delivery wages? He’s like 35 years old, isn’t he? Doesn’t he have an MBA or some such shit too? And who the f*ck talks in those awkward, clunky sentences? What a bunch of witless hackery.

  5. Guest Page Turner Author

    “Lower than a Jack? Ohh, it’s a Queen !”

    Card Sharks, 1982.

  6. Guest Page Turner Author

    Epicus Doomus, you are getting a little out of control with your rage! Love it!

  7. If there’s one word that should never appear in a Funky Winkerbean strip, it’s “excitement.”

  8. Gyre

    Y’know, I thought you were joking. I thought that there was no way Batiuk would show so much desperation to fit “Lisa” into things. But no, that is the actual line. Doesn’t this man have any family or friends around him who are willing to step in? Has he made it clear that criticism of his work would end the relationship?

  9. DOlz

    @Sosfdavido, “… but it’s hard to tell if the last panel is supposed to be foreshadowing to a massive pepperoni-induced heart attack or just a joke that fell flat.”

    Aren’t they the same thing in this comic (I use the term very loosely) strip?

  10. Charles

    By all means, let’s leave the story of the woman in labor racing to the hospital to give birth to her first child and instead move back to the two old guys talking to each other about how old they are. We’re all getting too old for this excitement.

  11. Saturnino

    >>We’re all getting too old for this excitement.<<

    Not to worry. If this arc is like any arc in this strip or in Crankshaft, it will be cut off before it can develop to any logical confusion, I mean, conclusion.

    If the strips were exciting, I'd say it was the comic version of coitus interruptus, but………………………….

  12. billytheskink

    I’m getting too old for all this excitement…
    Why did we buy curtains that only cover the lower third of our windows?

  13. Professor Fate

    So as one life comes into the world another may be leaving. It is the great pizzia – sorry – circle of life.

  14. By the way, is there any doubt that the baby will be a girl, and that it will be named Lisa? Tom Batiuk seems to have given up on the Ghost Lisa appearances, otherwise I’d throw that in too.

  15. John

    Tony: “I remember something that happened over thirty years ago.”

    Funky: “Oh?”

    Tony: “Yeah.”

    *fifteen minutes pass*

    Funky: “Tony, you were saying?”

    Tony: “Huh?!? ….oh. Well, no particular reason I brought that up. Just felt like mentioning something that happened thirty years ago.”

    Funky: “Okay…”

  16. John

    Funky: “I wonder if anyone thought to contact Ann and Fred?”

    Tony: “Ann and Fred? Who the hell are they?”

    Funky: “….uhm, Darin’s parents?”

    Tony: “Don’t be stupid! His mother was LISA and his step dad is LES! They are the only mother and father he needs! Besides, Fred had a stroke which means he’s crazy or something now, and Ann only married him out of convenience and lies.”

    Funky: “Forget it. Forget I said anything!”

    Tony: “Okay.”

  17. Charles

    By the way, is there any doubt that the baby will be a girl, and that it will be named Lisa?

    It’s a really bad idea to have two characters in your story with the same name, because it leads to unnecessary confusion of which character the writer’s referring to when he mentions the name.

    With that said:

    1. Batiuk’s shown that he’s already screwed this up by naming both Crazy and Dinkle Harry, so he’s already shown the lack of foresight to avoid this mess. It is illustrative, however, that the Harrys are referred to as Crazy and Dinkle, probably in part because he’s aware of the potential confusion.

    2. He’s not above using constructions that no human being would ever use, so we’ll see Darin regularly speaking about “My daughter, Lisa” or another character saying “your daughter, Lisa” or “his mother, Lisa”.

    3. It’s not as if Baby Lisa’s ever going to make regular appearances such that anyone would be confused. She’s certainly not going to be making as many appearances as…. DEAD Lisa.

    So I guess I’m saying that it’s inevitable.

    And it would be so Batiuk as well to have Darin decide that Lisa is so important that she’s the one he’ll name his firstborn after. After all, he talked to her for like 20 minutes once before she died! Batiuk just doesn’t appear to appreciate just how insulting that would be to Anne. Or maybe he does, a little, and he thinks naming her Lisa-Anne would be the solution.

  18. Epicus Doomus

    The way BatHack completely shunted Boy Lisa’s ACTUAL mother off to the side is one of the lowest and most shameful things he’s ever done and THAT is a bold, bold statement. Every single time Boy Lisa refers to Magical Cancer Girl as his “mom” it just sets my teeth on edge. Also note how he NEVER refers to Frankie the Coercer as “dad” either. I swear, one of these days I’m going to a Comic-Con he’s appearing at and I’m bonking him over the head with a hardcover copy of “Lisa’s Story”…repeatedly. Someone has to.

  19. @Charles – In regards to duplicate character names, we also had “Jim,” who teaches art at Westview High…followed by “Jim,” who teaches science at Westview High. In this case it’s the reader who has to keep them separate (assuming there’s a reader out there who cares enough).

  20. Even with the thought of a new life coming, everyone is still miserable.

  21. Sgt. Saunders

    If it’s a boy – “Lesa”.