Monday, March 10th

Link To Today’s Strip

Greetings, folks, BChasm back for another round.  I found myself a bit startled when Epicus mentioned that I was next in line, and as the panic set in, I wondered if I could schedule some emergency surgery, or join the army, or something…but no, duty calls, and the Moon is a harsh mistress.

Today’s episode was not available for preview, so we can all speculate until the wondrous onset of midnight, when all will be revealed.  Will it be more of Cindy’s woeful career, or another quest for an issue of Starbuck Jones, or will both these recent plotlines be abandoned to bring us something else?  One thing you can say about Funky Winkerbean is that it’s really pretty unpredictable.

It’s just unpredictable in a really, really lame way.  What way beckons from the pallid rim of midnight?

Let’s find out together.

UPDATE:  And it looks like those who had Cory in the Dead Pool are about to get their payoff!  Maybe.  Whatever resolution this new arc will have, it will be better in the imagining than in the actual.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “Monday, March 10th

  1. I’m thinking, that since it’s supposed to be Funky’s birthday son, there will be a week of strips in which Funky’s dad suffers a heart attack and dies, Cory accidentally steps on a landmine and dies, Holly’s breast cancer returns, and Montoni’s owner evicts Funky so that he can replace Montoni’s with a Papa John’s. And on Saturday we’ll find out it’s Funky’s birthday. Of course, he’s done the same garbage before, but since when has that stopped him (see Crazy Harry and Cindy).

  2. Epicus Doomus

    I like to believe that somewhere on this planet there’s a person who wakes up at 4:30 in the morning every Monday in order to get the morning newspaper as soon as it’s available. Then as soon as they pay for it they frantically tear it open, get to the comics section and say “F*CK YEAH! BAND CAMP WEEK!” or whatever. There has to be one, right? What I wouldn’t give to meet that person.

    Waiting to find out what your weekly arc will be is one of the, uh….”fun” parts of SoSF guest hosting. There’s that instantaneous moment of awareness where you’re either awkwardly surprised (“oh look, it’s Kahn!”) or immediately disappointed (“oh no, f*cking Dinkle again”).

    IMO the toughest ones are the real curveballs out of nowhere where you get stuck with a week of Linda Bushka or Jinx or something and the ones where it takes most of the week for one thing to happen, like a basketball taking three days to go through a hoop, for example. The easiest ones are the Les/Lisa ones (I never get tired of hating Les & Lisa) and the “tragic” ones where the snark basically writes itself.

  3. crm114

    …while driving, Becky can’t keep both hands on the wheel (because!) loses control, runs over and after 2 months of strips kills Buddy the Dog and it was all because of that rotten drunken misery inducing etc. etc. etc..

  4. Rusty

    Hey, I wonder who was in the crashed blackhawk helicopter. Christ, what an asshole.

  5. The likelihood of Cory being on that helicopter is proportional to how soon the Pulitzer nominating committee will be meeting.

  6. bayoustu

    Uh-oh; I wonder if it’s Khan that’s kicked the Cahn!!

  7. Howard and Nester

    Despite my prediction yesterday, I think the comic is just setting us up for a bait-and-switch like when Wally got ‘bombed’ by the IEDs but lolno it was a video game.

    This is how predictions in this comic works: think of a lame but predictable plot twist, then tweak it so that it’s simultaneously less predictable and more lame. If it’s a plot twist that has the side effect of completely aborting the entire storyline, the chances of it happening go up 100%. This is how it worked for Susan, Jared, Jinx and the metamucil pills, Le Cat Bleu, and of course Cindy coming back to Westview.

    Seriously, WTF was up with the reappearance of Death Kitty? That was one of the most mind-meltingly pointless plot points I’ve ever seen in a newspaper comic.

  8. Epicus Doomus

    Didn’t see that coming. Looks like Batiuk is going to milk the Cory anxiety for everything it’s worth and he will exhibit no shame whatsoever while doing so. Cheap pathos and cheesy misdirection, all for the sake of building that comic book arc into something the readers are supposed to “care” about. Sad and lazy storytelling, unless Cory dies, in which case it’s sad, lazy AND grim.

  9. O.B. Dan

    So, who’s handling the pool? I’m betting it’s this: they’re both in the Blackhawk, Rocky checks out, and Cory’s life goes down the toilet – and we find out for sure Friday.

  10. O.B. Dan

    On a more serious note, now you know why my parents were so reluctant to watch TV news when I was a soldier.

  11. Merry Pookster

    Rocky looses an arm in the crash….Cory becomes a POW

  12. My money is on dead Rocky because TB only maims/kills women…

  13. I bet KHAN! was one of the 11 Afghans.

  14. I’m thinking trifecta here – Rocky dead, Cory maimed, and Khahn both.


    When the taliban raids the debris they’ll have plenty of mint condition Starbuck Jones comics to rifle through!! This will either fund their freedom fighting or provide proof that America really is morally and culturally bankrupt!

  16. billytheskink

    It is amazing how much an appearance by my favorite character improves FW. That green pitcher is something else, I tell ya. Of course, that means it probably won’t be long before TB sends it to Afghanistan.


    In regards to the death pool..My money is on Rocky being horribly disfigured. Beautiful girl being disfigured by the horrors of war kind of fits in with Batiuk’s misery porn standards.

  18. Chaos Clockwork

    See, originally, I was pretty sure he’d never actually pull the trigger. Nah, those days are behind him, I thought. Note that I started following Funky only when it was well into the complete ‘blah’ period of Act Three, after Cell Phone Girl, after the Book, after pretty much anything interesting – the darkest thing I’ve seen (other than Lisa’s terrible diary) was Fred’s stroke. So, I thought he was done with the stuff that required *actually* being heavy.
    Now? Now, I’m not too sure. I mean, Cindy’s back in town, and this helicopter is crashing – maybe he’s aiming a misery bullet at Holly? It’s not like Funky really cared about Cory at any point.
    Oh, wait…never mind. I just remembered that he’s still got about fifty bajillion Starbuck Jones sunday strips to go through. Maybe Rocky’ll get a light maiming, but that’s the most I can see happening. Yeah, I’m sticking with ‘just can’t pull the trigger anymore’.

  19. Epicus Doomus

    Maybe I’m wrong about this, but I could see this military melodrama as being something that might rub a lot of people the wrong way, especially if it ends up being a big nothing that doesn’t go anywhere. We already know that Holly & Funky are full of anxiety re: Cory, there’s no need to emphasize it via more misery porn. And if it indeed goes nowhere, he basically used the (fictional) deaths of sixteen (!) people to get a cheap rise out of his readers.

    While there’s nothing wrong with the Cory story or Holly & Funky’s plight as military parents in and of itself, he’s already wallowed in military misery with the lengthy Wally saga. Perhaps showing a different side of the experience, one where Cory emerges intact and better for it, would be a refreshing take (by FW standards at least). But I guess you can’t teach an old dog….

  20. Howard and Nester

    Perhaps showing a different side of the experience, one where Cory emerges intact and better for it, would be a refreshing take (by FW standards at least).
    People becoming better from negative experiences after it readjusts their viewpoint, lets them appreciate the good things, and find an inner strength to overcome? In Funky Winkerbean

    Dude, what is wrong with you? This isn’t one of your fancy-schmancy comics with positive character development in it like, say, Foxtrot or even Luann. As awful and creepy as that latter comic is.

  21. Epicus Doomus

    H&N: For a brief moment I thought that maybe Cory would be the “anti-Wally” and emerge from the army as a “fine young man” and all. Now though, it’s pretty obvious that it’ll just be a cheap gimmick to generate some easy pathos. Two people constantly worrying that their son is dead…perfect FW material.

  22. A HREF

    Isn’t Cory Funky’s stepson and didn’t Act II early on establish that Funky and Cory hated each other? Or if hate is too strong, had serious issues. Apparently all those issues–Funky marrying the formerly cute and not chubster Holly (whose brain seems to have grown along with her ass); Corey’s reason for disliking Holly, what happened to Cory’s “Bio Dad” etc were all covered off screen.Stuff tht might be interesting, even if prurient, are not developed at all.

    Anyway here’s a joke that Batuick could use:

    Holly: Does this skirt make me look fat?
    Funky: No I think its your ass that does it.

    I tell that joke in the kindest way possible and as a lrad ass myself.

  23. Heh heh. Joe Kubert’s son returns Sunday’s “tip o’ the felt tip”, but spells “Bastiuk”‘s name wrong.

  24. Gyre

    Yes, brilliant, spread panic and fear around. And no, I’m not being too critical. My extended family has gone through this. Our rule is to not call every single time a soldier might have gotten hurt.

  25. Tömbastiük is the name of my next death metal band.

  26. bad wolf

    I can’t believe these artists, and even sons of the artists, let him get away with this. In most cases “swiping” and “tracing” are pretty damning criticisms. In Bastiuk’s case he still goes on about how it’s like “jamming” with his “heroes”. Except everyone draws alone, and ripping off dead people is still ripping off dead people.