Stay tuned for the incredible snark stylings of Beckoning Chasm, starting tomorrow!!!
An extremely rare Sunday strip arc wrap-up today, as Jessica decides that after almost three years in the planning stages and one day in production she will not allow “Hollywood” to wrap its disgusting filthy immoral paws around her pet project, instead opting to forget all about it and settle for occasionally filming various ceremonies and parties for the local townies instead. Aim high, strong female character, aim high!
See, I thought the original question was “what was JD really like?” but actually it was “did my father ever play Barbie with me?” instead. And now that she knows the answer and has seen actual video proof, her ambition and passion for the project have vanished completely. I see. And by that I mean “I see why they live above Montoni’s”. Aim low, baby Skyler, aim low!
And a typically keen observation from Boy Lisa, who seems oddly content with his wife’s fickle nature. Perhaps someday he’ll run into the doctor who screwed up Lisa’s medical chart that time so HE can get some closure too! That’d be swell.
It’s been a great two weeks here at SoSF HQ but now it’s time to pass the batom (get it?) to our next guest snarker and time for me to hit the bourbon and airplane glue in an attempt to purge the last four weeks from my memory. Until next time, stay Barbie…err, I mean Funky!
Son of Stuck Funky 
Considering TB’s distain for all things Hollywood, I have to wonder if he was rejected years ago when he proposed a FW movie?
Being a wedding videographer in Westview (town motto: “Where Joy Goes to Die”) has got to be even less lucrative than being a pizza app engineer.
Oh no…I’m due to guest host starting tomorrow…and I’m out of bourbon and airplane glue!
BC: Computer duster works almost as good.
If Jess had simply watched the home videos of JD before she started the film, she wouldn’t have needed to bother with the documentary at all. Yet she insisted on annoying her father’s former coworkers and forced them to dredge up unpleasant memories of the man, memories which she opted to ignore in favor of her own conclusion which she based on the very same videos she overlooked before starting the interviews. So essentially everything involving the JD documentary, ever, was just a huge waste of everyone’s time. Amazing.
I use Scotch. And Scotch.
@Epicus Doomus, “So essentially everything involving the JD documentary, ever, was just a huge waste of everyone’s time. ”
And this is different from a typical FW strip how? 🙂
I’m gonna rip off Beastie Boys to say what I think about this: “Intergalactic, Planetary, Planetary, ANTICLIMACTIC!!!!!!”
I mean, seriously, she goes in with the preconception that her DADDY WHO WAS MURDERED was a great but misunderstood man because he LUUUUURRRRRRRVED HER!!!! and ignores all the evidence that suggests that the only reason that the festering boil on the asscheeks of mankind had any affection for her is that she’s too stupid, worshipful and stupid to have represented a threat to his monstrous vanity. Having ‘confirmed’ her delusion seems to have cured her of the need to blight the world with more twaddle so is actually a good thing.
I think she could do better in Westview as a videographer of wakes and funerals. Also, on the bright side, the word “Barbie” did not appear once in today’s strip.
Stupid. Even if Hollywood wouldn’t take it, she might be able to sell it to a public TV station and make some money off the deal. She just wasted the time all involved when she could’ve been, say, taking better care of her baby.
This story arc could have been avoided by having a 5 minute conversation with her mother. We would all be the lesser for it, however.
Dream big Jess. And by the way why would Hollywood come knocking for a handmade (all senses of the word) documentary about an self centered jagov who loved his daughter? Only in a world were Les Moore is a major player in because of a book about cancer would such a thing be possible.
If she makes too much money, they’ll lose their welfare, WIC checks, food stamps, and Medicaid eligibility.
I hope she remembers to take her camera out of the case when people are paying her for wedding videos.
Because she’s such a friggin’ pro at “making wedding videos”…
Thanks for that reminder that she makes rookie mistakes owing to being an easily distracted mush-head.
I forgot all about the time she butchered the Les/Cayla wedding video. Look at her in panel two….easily distracted by some random sheet music that blew by. What an imbecile.
(Meanwhile, across the hallway, John sits in a darkened Komix Korner, his mouth set in a severe frown, brow furrowed, a rumpled copy of BUSTY SKUNKS clutched in one hand, a watch in the other. After a long, long time, Crazy Harry enters.)
Harry: “Howdy, Comical Book brother! Wanna mosey on downstairs for some pizza and coffee?”
John: “Thank you for helping me out with Free Comic Book Day yesterday, Harry.”
Harry: “Huh? I didn’t help you out with anything yesterday. The lady who lives in my house forced me to go and visit that weird red-headed girl who used to hang out in my house all the time. It was so boring! So, up for some exciting pizza and dynamic coffee?”
John: “FREE COMIC BOOK DAY, Harry. Apparently for twelve years, comic shops across the ENTIRE NATION have been giving away special issues for FREE on the first Saturday of May! What’s worse, they act like this is a day to invite INFIDELS into the store! Evil internet loving kids! Adults who gave up on the books years ago! Even…e-even….WOMEN.”
Harry: *GASP* “But -girls- don’t read comics! …unless they’re fat fortysomething fake Goth pseudo outcasts who mysteriously attend high school…”
John: “But anyway, some YAHOO on the EVIL INTERNET apparently entered the Komix Korner into the FCBD website as a participating store! I was swamped in customers! I had no time to play video games, no time to eat, no time to pull tender young teenagers to the side and whisper into their ears! I didn’t even get to enjoy my sexy skunk comics! You know Saturday is the day I batch it with the skunks!”
Harry: “Huh. Welp, dunno if I could have been any help. All I know is about Tarzan, Starbuck Jones, and outdated information from THE OFFICIAL HANDBOOK TO THE MARVEL UNIVERSE.”
John: “…that reminds me. What the EFF is a ‘Rocket Raccoon’?!?”
Seriously though? For all his lip service towards alleged affection towards the medium, Tom does precious little to acknowledge or promote the real world initiatives towards building awareness. Almost as if he has no true love for the artform itself, he’s just cranky and clinging to something because it’s OLD.
Not ‘almost.’ NEVER ‘almost.’ He is just a sour old goat clinging onto something like a starving octopus because it’s something the whippersnappers don’t appreciate.