Because today’s strip is about comical books, Mr. Oddnoc has enlisted perennial sophomores Owen and Cody to do the daily commentary. They will provide the puerile perspective and gravitas that Batominc bloviating about comic books warrants.
Enter Owen & Cody, sophomores. Neither wears any sort of headgear, hat, or chullo of any kind.
Owen: Mr. Oddnoc, come on! You’ve got to do some of the work. Put the scotch down for a sec!
Enter Oddnoc, a snarker. He sips pensively from a Glencairn glass, then sets it gently upon the table.
Oddnoc: OK, Owen. Let’s see. Hmm… Holly seems to have forgotten—
Owen: Cory’s gonna be pissed!
Oddnoc (arch): Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Who am I? Who am I?
Owen: Haw! Les Moore! Anyway, I know what you were gonna say. She forgot she brought her own damn scissors.
Cody: Why slice it open now?
Owen: It don’t make no sense.
Oddnoc: It’s inexplicable, boys. Downright inexplicable.
All three drop their mics.
Exeunt.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Yesterday I mentioned how obvious it was that TheAuthor was going to any length to get these “snooty comic book dork” gags in there even if it meant completely shunning continuity and logic. Well, he was in such a hurry to get this bit of TomFoolery in there that he forgot all about the scissors Holly was waving around earlier this week. Nicely done, Pulitzer (nominee) Boy.
The lesson here is the same as always: snooty comic book collectors who take the value of the books seriously = very bad. Comic book readers who don’t care about that and only want to read them = good in a child-like innocent way. So he loves old comic books but he hates comic book collectors. Holly, though, is OK because (gasp!) she doesn’t know any better. Got that?
I figure the butler probably confiscated the scissors when he let Holly in, and if you’re asking “What butler?” then shut up, that’s why.
I’m far more amazed that Droopy Pete’s artwork is apparently adjudged to be worth almost seven dollars!
Also, I should note two things: 1. Chester is apparently a seller of comic books, and not a collector as we’d been led to believe, and 2. Great post title, Oddnoc!
Yesterday, Richguy Von Comicbook was beside himself with boyish glee at the idea of owning the specially drawn, never published doodle of The Incredible Spongebob. Today he wants to sell it. And Holly, who’s spent months working on the collection, has learned absolutely nothing about handling comic books. IT’S CALLED WRITING!
Flummoxicated: You know, I totally missed that inconsistency, hidden as it was among dozens of other ones. Incredible, he’s so enraptured with his Hagglemore fantasies that can’t even keep the story straight on a day-to-day basis now. What a hack.
So Hagglemore sees an opportunity to make a nice profit and he takes excellent care of his valuable comic book collection. What a dick, huh? And Holly, the bungling nitwit who threatened to destroy valuable artwork and who can’t even wait until she gets home before she starts tearing into her rare comic book is the “hero” here. Man, the guy who writes this dreck is troubled to say the least. The dude can’t show two gay guys dancing at a prom and 90% of his female characters look like cut-rate drag queens, yet here he is endorsing some really far-out vision of an almost communistic ideal of comic book collecting where profit is frowned upon and comic books and splash pages are handed out according to how “connected” you are to the military! I mean yeesh, what a weirdo.
I really don’t get the way Batiuk portrays comics aficionados. I mean, he’s clearly a fan of the medium, but every time a comic book collector or reader shows up in this strip, he (and it is always a he, because what do the wimmenfolk know of such things?) is almost invariably condescending, socially inept, and/or a developmentally stunted manchild. The biker guy who let Holly have a comic cheap because, dude, veterans is the only one to break the mold, and that was just for the sake of a lame “twist.” There’s no real sense of affection for any of them. Then again, I suppose that’s hard to generate when you don’t have any likable characters.
Awful
It’s like dealing with Joe Quesada. He made his pile writing Spider-Man to the comics-buying public but he has no great love for the Webslinger or the average collector.
Holly: “Crazy? No, Harry is still back at the Komix Korner! He and John have been so kind, spending months and months telling me about how they and they alone know the secret of collecting comic books!”
Hagglemore: “…*…what?”
Holly: “But since I’m a woman with ambition, even as mild an ambition as wanting to purchase obscure comics for my son, I am of course evil and stupid. And stupidly evil! So, time to slice open this vintage comic by cutting right through the slab with sharp scissors! La-la-la! I’m sooooo dumb!”
Hagglemore: “I…you….wha-”
Holly: “Oopsie! This jar of strawberry preserves I inexplicably had next to the scissors! It’s gotten all OVER my hands! Welp, nothing to do but wipe ’em off on the cover!”
Hagglemore: “NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOO!”
Holly: “Oh, golly! That corn on the cob I had earlier left all these kernels in my mouth! I’d better rip out these ancient staples and use them to pick between my teeth!”
Hagglemore: *goes into conniptions*
Holly: “Mmmm. The creamy paper is so PRETTY! It smells like a day old breakfast pizza! I think I’ll LICK IT!”
Hagglemore: *faints, dead away*
Holly: “….the things I’ll do for an actual punchline. Yeesh.”
Paul, Joe Quesada’s fortunes came about riding the hot artist speculator boom of the 1990s. His run on DC’s “new” Batman Azrael, followed by his EVENT COMICS studio got him a tasty nest egg, followed by a lucrative deal to license various B and C-list Marvel heroes for the MARVEL KNIGHTS line that began in 1998.
He loves Spider-Man, it’s just -only- the Spider-Man that existed from 1971-1978.
Such haggle. Much cut. Many angst. Wow.
I guess Ernst Stavro Blofelt’s henchman are not allowed in his comic dealing sanctum? Cause I assume that is who frisked Holly and disarmed her of the scissor. I guess when your a jackbooted thug of a idiotic comic book collector, it is easier to be lax.
We should credit Holly with being smart enough to actually check the dust bag to make sure Charles Foster Kane here, didn’t just put a photocopied cover with blank pieces of paper. I guess if you listen to Crazy Harry and DSH John long enough you will learn about the comic industry. You will also want to drown yourself in a bathtub, but still knowledge is power.
Sense none this makes.
These are the things you have to do if you’re going to drag out a story arc that should last three days tops for two weeks.
Starbuck Jones
I got a Starbuck Jones
Starbuck Jones
Oh baby, woo-woo
@beckoningchasm: Thanks! Coming up with the titles is a lot of fun, unlike following the plot of this “reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner.”