Thelma And Ennuis

Link To Today’s Strip

Today sees Tombat trying way, way too hard to drive home his “point” about how horrible “Hollywood” is yet again, this time via “Thelma”, Clay Wallace’s awful, rude, somewhat mysterious and clearly miserable office drone. Man, if that woman (she IS a woman…right?) isn’t a born Westviewian I don’t know who is, she’d fit right in at WHS, Montoni’s or the front desk at the local cancer hospital without missing a beat. Awful hair, worse attitude, obnoxiously rude…forget about those “Hollywood starlets on the make” because Thelma is the REAL threat, a woman seemingly MADE for Les Moore. Methinks they’ll get along wonderfully as they attack the business at hand.

Of course I have no idea what that business might entail, as Batom has wasted the entire week with a bunch of nonsensical and unrelated babbling, but still. I’m sure he’ll get to the “script doctor” and the “table read” eventually and then maybe this idiotic tale might start to become somewhat coherent. And then again, maybe it won’t. Either way, it won’t really matter as we all know this idiocy will end with Les sitting on that crappy porch swing ruminating over how turning down that filthy Hollywood loot was the only real choice he had because of Lisa and his “art” and so on and so forth. Dopey premise, weeks of pointless repetition and senseless yammering, quick and cheap “resolution”, that’s the time-tested FW formula responsible for churning out all this fantastic art over the years. Why tamper with success, you know? Sigh.

17 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

17 responses to “Thelma And Ennuis

  1. Thelma doesn’t look at Les, barely acknowledges his presence, and wants to know as little of him as possible. Which to be fair is the normal reaction on meeting Les.

    I wonder if “Clay Wallace” and “Thelma” are based on real people, and Batiuk thinks this is a wicked burn to the two of them. If so, I doubt they care.

  2. DOlz

    Ya know I like this Thelma already.

  3. bad wolf

    “Two weeks”? Maybe we’ve got a deadline on this arc. *fingers crossed*

  4. I figure there are two explanations overall–

    1–Tom Batiuk thinks that people genuinely like Les. In which case, Tom Batiuk should really get out more.

    2–Tom Batiuk knows that everyone loathes Les and finds him the most horrible character in comics. And he enjoys inflicting him on people, knowing that every time Les appears, Batiuk’s critics burn with hate, drink too much, and generally shorten their lives over this hideous, horrific character. In which case, Tom Batiuk should really get out more.

  5. TFHackett

    Thelma resembles a cancer-stricken Ed Crankshaft.

  6. Rusty

    Don’t tell me we are going to do a walk-through of the rewriting process? I want a conference table of unknown actors reading Les’s screenplay and snarking on it between lines, and I want it now.

  7. Chyron HR

    In panel 3, Clay reveals his true identity as another manifestation of Les’s insecurities: “Le Head Bean”

  8. Gyre

    And no Hallucinatory Cat. So it appears when Les feels cocky about his work, it disappears when he’s confronted with some kind of secretary who makes it clear that she doesn’t expect him to last, it might or might not speak and still no actual explanation for it.

    Great consistency.

  9. Epicus Doomus

    TheDiva: I always wonder that too whenever he draws a random one-off character that seems oddly specific. Themla looks like someone who may have kicked TB out of a small town library at some point, although obviously that’s just speculation.

    So the script that Les wrote is a tremendous work of art but it needs some tweaking. So how long should it take to tweak a script? Two weeks would seem like plenty unless Clay wants him to completely re-write it. But if that’s the case why did he leave Les to his own devices for over a year while he wrote it? If TheAuthor would just write this stuff down somewhere BEFORE he committed it to felt-tip he might recognize when he’s doing things that don’t make any sense.

  10. We’re making a lateral move on this one. This is because we started with Les being told that he has to be a sell-out and are now in a world where he’s a nobody. Reason: Batiuk’s fragile ego can’t handle being told that no, Lisa’s Story isn’t original, doesn’t make sense and doesn’t have characters people could invest in emotionally. Wallace and Thelma are simply ad hominem attacks on people who told him to his face that no one is going to watch a foregone conclusion involving ciphers they’ve been given no reason to empathize with.

  11. Spacemanspiff85

    The fact is that there are bound to be more than a few people who think Les is a hero and the best character ever, just based on statistics. Hard to conceive of a real human being with that skewed a perspective, but there it is.

  12. Saturnino

    “Ya know I like this Thelma already.”

    But it still would have been fun if the secretary turned out to be Susan, and they ended up falling for each other, and Crayola found out about it, and divorced Less, taking him for everything he has now and in the future, and then Summer and Keisha got married, and Summer told Less he was useless and she hated him and never wanted to see him again, and Less ended up living at a booth in Montoni’s and people would look at him and cluck and some kind soul would make the comment……

    “Well, at least he doesn’t write run on sentences…………………”

  13. Les’ original script was too beautiful for cable TV, so now he’s in charge of making it not-beautiful. That makes PERFECT sense.

  14. DOlz

    @Saturnino, yep that would have been a lot more interesting. However; as hackneyed as that plot device would have been it’s still miles (or kilometers for the non US readers) above TB’s writing ability.

  15. Professor Fate

    So the evil hollywood folks are giving him an office – and one assumes also a place to stay while he’s there to do nothing but write. I wish some folks would be that evil to me sometime.

  16. Also – there was a tornado in Tom Batiuk’s special corner of Ohio this week. I’m calling it first – I expect a very special tornado arc in Funky Winkerbean about a year from now.

  17. A HREF

    There will be no script doctor. There will be no table reading. This arc is going to go nowhere — just like the gay prom story arc—except instead of good guy cardboard cut outs we will have vil Hollywood cardboard cut outs. And who files to Hollywood like Les did. They fly to L.A. or LAX or …. no one says they’re flying to Hollywood.

    I kind of hope that Cable Movie Entertainment takes a pass on Lisa’ Story and FX picks it up . Kind ofa prequel to the Fargo series and instead of Lisa dying from cancer, Lorne Malvo puts her , Les and Bull in a wood chipper in the dead of winter. “Is this what you want Lester?” and Lorne makes Les eat the entire collection of Starbuck Jones before setting a plague of locusts on him.

    Or HBO picks it up and make sit a Game of Thrones spin off and instead of cancer Lisa falls through the Moon Door, Les’s head is crushed by the Mountain That Rides and Summer is protected by the Hound for all of two days when the Hound finds her insufferable, overcomes his phobia about fire and burns her at the stake.

    Now that’s the type of retconning I could get into.