Feet Fail Me Now

SosfDavidO here! Aw, lookit! In today’s strip we get treated to Tombat’s take on the “someone who is dancing silly is interrupted by someone silently watching” schtick that was the mainstay of movie trailers in the late 90s. Cue up that record-scratch sound effect!

What’s the cause for celebration? He finished another book! Presumably the same book that Darin had given him an idea for only yesterday. Either he used 48pt font or I’m calling complete, utter, time-bending, reality-warping bulls*** on this!

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18 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

18 responses to “Feet Fail Me Now

  1. I don’t know how long it took Les to write “Lust for Lisa: the Book” but I know it took him months of agonizing to write the screenplay.

    Now, we’re being told he could write “Lust for Lisa: the Early Days” in a matter of hours? Look, Mr. Batiuk, either writing is hard or it isn’t. Beginnings have to be earned after all.

    I will say this. If Cayla does not divorce him for this latest fetishistic foray, then it proves just one thing. Repeat it with me:

    Tom Batiuk hates black people.

    Seriously, he thinks black women should just be doormats for their white husbands’ obsessions. That they deserve no life of their own. That they should put all their efforts into making certain that their white husbands should be indulged in all their whims, no matter in which century they took place.

    Tom Batiuk hates black people.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Yup, there’s nothing like celebrating the end of life’s most taxing and unrewarding task of them all…writing a book. Bear in mind that this isn’t even really a book at all, Les merely captioned Boy Lisa’s doodles. But nonetheless, the torturous creative process is now complete so it’s time to relax, kick back and wait for some greedy slimebag to somehow soil and taint his work in some sort of crass and obnoxious way.

    Coming soon: After realizing that “The Last Leaf” is self-published, Les becomes confused and disoriented by the lack of a contrived outsider enemy to blame for his failings as a human being. In desperation he turns to Frankie, who agrees to pretend he’s Les’ publisher for fifty bucks and a free Montoni’s pie. Les releases his pent-up contemptuous sneers and the crisis is averted.

  3. SpacemanSpiff85

    This is the perfect summation of Les and Cayla’s entire “relationship”, right here.
    Les is completely absorbed in the memory of his dead wife, while his living wife stands near him for who knows how long, ignored.
    And I have a feeling every conversation they have begins with “How long were you standing there?” “A looooong time…”.

  4. JerrytheMacGuy

    The eternally battling husband and wife of “The Lockhorns” have more romantic chemistry between them than Les and his too often forgotten current wife, whatshername, will ever have.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    Note how he couldn’t do an arc about Les writing something for Cayla without getting Lisa involved somehow. Every time he does an arc involving Les writing something it always has to involve Lisa. It’s like if you did word-association with Bantom, you’d say “book” and he’d instantly reply “Lisa”. He just so desperately wants to re-live that magical time over and over and over again. Ditto the pregnancy arc, which he never tires of re-living because it changed comic strips forever and vomit. If he can find a way to have Les write a fictional book about that he’ll be in hog f*cking heaven and he’ll never, ever shut the f*ck up about it either.

    Also note how Boy Lisa, who never gets arcs of his own anymore, had HIS major plot development cut off at the knees exactly one panel in. Then again, he should have known better than to bring up his dead bio-mom in front of Les, I mean how stupid can you be?

  6. We might as well call this thing “White Male Privilege, The Comic Strip.” Everything we see is oriented around preserving the right of oblivious white men to fail to understand any perspective not their own. Black people are credits to their race. Women are either hindrances or threats. Children bring chaos and embarrassment. Government is too inefficient because all we need are cops, soldiers and debt collectors. So on and so forth.

  7. Nathan Obral

    To add to beckoningchasm’s earlier point, Batom® also casts Nate Green as an Officer Barbrady-esque figurehead.

    Seriously, any principal worth their salt wouldn’t put up with the repeated shenanigans that Les, Bull, Harry Dinkle and KaBLAHchnik get away with.

  8. bigd1992

    It’s Father’s Day, yet we get punished with more St Lisa of Cancer worship. I wanted some Mort!

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    Well at least we know Batom watches TV as this gag is a direct ripoff of several commercials–the ones where the guy does something foolish and or childish, while the smart, savvy woman looks at him. You know, the dumb guy meme.

    I guess it is justified considering that it is Les, but either way Batom got a freebie just from sitting around and watching TV.

  10. bayoustu

    I find it odd that in Westview- where anguish, despair, and misery reign supreme, both Les AND Crazy Harry have these so-called “Happy Dances”… I also find it interesting (well, not really) that Cayla’s clothes and skin color are morphing into the same hue/tonal de-saturation and that soon she truly will be all but invisible.

  11. That last panel says so much about Les and Cayla’s relationship and not in a good way.

  12. Monotony

    @bayoustu Happiness is such a taboo concept in Westview that it can only be expressed through a ritual performance used to summon shame and humiliation (and smirking).

  13. So Les’ next book is literally “I met Lisa in high school, the end.” At least it’s short.

  14. DOlz

    @TheDiva, yep we should only get six months of Les straining, struggling, and kvetching over each letter of each word. Followed by two years of self congratulatory story lines about this masterpiece and how everyone is trying to desecrate it.

  15. Epicus Doomus

    If Batom really wants to re-live his Lisa glory days, why not just re-run the old strips in their entirety instead of inventing moronic contrivances all the time? What kind of “writer” is DickFace if the only thing he can write about is Lisa? Wait…don’t answer that.

    In case you didn’t notice the masthead, get ready for another jarring plot thread change as BanTom wastes a week covering something absolutely no one cares about.

  16. @Epicus Doomus: Yeah. Let’s catch up with Corey instead of doing something weird and untested like, I don’t know, seeing what Summer and the other (grand)children are up to.

  17. Getting a little race-y in here.

  18. What’s with her face in the last panel?