Barry Bald-faced-liar-man

– Find and/or purchase salt. Box, canister, iodized, sea, it doesn’t matter.
– Take one grain of aforementioned salt
– Read today’s strip
– For best results, avoid repeating

Is this strip supposed to explain Les’ lack of interaction with young Lisa (or any of the Act I gang)? That he fainted and was unconscious during the whole interaction?
Probably, in which case there will be a new entry into the dictionary’s definition of “cop-out”, but we should give TB the benefit of the doubt until this is confirmed.

Either way, though, Barry Balderman is spouting some Barry Balderdash today. This is what happened to Les after her was told that the DJ bailed:

He stated his hate for Big Walnut Tech

He gave Cayla the “children left behind” death glare for making a good point

He broodingly mused on the origin of Crazy’s nickname

He saw the entire Act I gang appear out of the Time Pool

He had a staring contest with his younger self while Lisa looked forlornly at her replacement

He continued the staring contest in silhouette form

He watched the entire Act I gang prepare to get back in the Time Pool

He waddled through the background of a strip that appeared IMMEDIATELY before he was depicted as fainted and passed out

Are my eyes beady enough for ya?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

22 responses to “Barry Bald-faced-liar-man

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Some might wonder why we give this comic strip (and its creator) such a hard time. This story arc is a perfect example of why. Batiuk expects his readers to recall past events in order to “get” the “jokes” and references he makes, then he totally ignores those same events and references without rhyme or reason. So the “dream sequence” began when the DJ bailed? Does that mean he also imagined the whole Bedside Manor band thing? And if so, how did he even know that Dinkle’s little pet project even existed? As Billy mentioned, the strip SHOWED LES after the DJ bailed and gave us no indication that we were seeing a dream sequence. And the dream sequence itself mostly centered around Cindy and Crazy, not Les. Which is pretty peculiar given that Les is easily the most self-obsessed character in the entire strip.

    Thus the only conclusion one can reach is that BanTom really needs to go outside more often as the fumes from those felt-tips are causing some sort of brain malfunction. Or, barring that, he’s just going through the motions in order to get to FW’s gala 50th anniversary celebration which will probably consist of his characters opening a comic book-themed pizzeria on Mars which will of course be revealed to be a figment of Funky’s stroke-addled imagination, or something equally hilarious like that.

  2. Nathan Obral

    So. Much. Padding.

  3. Spacemanspiff85

    The only thing less believable than a time pool in Harry’s locker is that Les’s dreams would feature anyone other than him.

  4. Nathan Obral

    These three jars of Fluff don’t have as much fluff as this so-called “reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner.”

    All in the name of “writing.” And “art.”

  5. Well, according to Les’ dream, he thinks his friends would willingly sacrifice Lisa at a moment’s notice–Harry particularly.

    He thinks Funky’s name is weird and should make him uncomfortable.

    He would not do anything to alter his past, even if it meant saving Lisa’s life. The most he would do is hide the truth from her, while planning his profits.

    And he really, really, really thinks Cindy is as narcissistic as…as…as he is. (Tom Batiuk has never gotten over that cheerleader who turned him down, I guess.)

    Les is one mentally unhealthy dude.

  6. Nathan Obral

    And even the mere premise of “Les fainting under pressure from the reunion” makes absolutely no sense. Everyone else did the work for him… EVERYONE… while he sat, pouted and whined after HollyCindy pawned off the ceremonial role to him.

    This pretty much confirms three things:

    1) Tom Batiuk doesn’t do any storyboarding or outlining whatsoever. He clearly wrote himself into a corner and is using this as a cheap copout.

    2) Tom doesn’t care to proofread or look at the garbage he put forth, otherwise he would have eliminated some of the obvious inconsistencies billytheskink addressed. But no, that would hurt his “art” and “writing.”

    3) Expect more of this, much more, until he “retires” in March 2022 to a ‘victory lap’ consisting of a puff piece softball interview from the Elyria Chronicle-Telegram.

  7. 1966tvbatman

    While I have sometimes – sometimes – defended TB on the days when people here have gone out of their way to drop an anvil on him when he is – gasp – innocent, I concede that 99% of the time he is flipping everyone on the planet the middle finger. It is getting to a point where I probably will drop it because – let’s face it – he has taken the depths to new levels. We cannot even get good snark – it is starting to become hatred at this asshole.

  8. sgtsaunders

    My guess now is that the whole time pool story is a figment of Les’ fevered mind. But really, if anyone should know from pools-in-lockers, it’s Les.

  9. Epicus Doomus

    Gold star to the Sarge for the pants-wetting reference. The whole Dinkle thing has me baffled. If Les fainted after hearing that the DJ bailed (which he most definitely did not) it means he imagined the entire Bedside Manor thing too, which means he imagined that Holly knew about it, which is just flat-out insane. If that’s where he’s going with this then yeah, it’s pretty obvious that he’s just winging it and making this crap up as he goes along. Which means that maybe he’d be far better served by sticking to week-long arcs about band boxes and jogging, as longer “stories” are just way, way out of his wheelhouse at this point.

  10. Note that even in his dreams, Les doesn’t lift a finger to save Lisa. This reveals a great deal about his true feelings for her.

  11. ComicTrek

    Wait a minute, what DJ?? What is even going on???

    @TheDiva: EXACTLY. Which pretty much renders the mood, tone, and most of the basic backbone/plot of this strip (and Les’s twisted mind) since, say, 2006 totally pointless.

  12. bad wolf

    That this whole month was a dream, is reasonable — as an explanation, not as acceptable writing.

    That there was a dream sequence without something leading into it, or in any way suggesting it, is weak.

    That this whole thing was Les’ dream, not Crazy’s, is where it goes completely off the ramp.

  13. Epicus Doomus

    “And I had a whole thing planned out where the old gag-a-day characters journey forward in time to the present and Les saves Lisa by taking her TO THE HOSPITAL for an early detection breast cancer screening. Then I was going to re-introduce Lisa into the strip as if nothing had ever happened. But it seemed like a lot of work so I glanced around my studio and saw a cellphone, some cardboard and my cancer book shrine and threw together a bunch of random crap instead. It’s pretty much my whole system now. I bang out 365 of these things over the course of a long weekend and it’s Fat City ’til next January, baby!” – Things that you will never read in the Akron Sunday newspaper supplement.

  14. Well, it least it isn’t a total waste of space. He might have thought he’d given us all a huge middle finger by saying “SEE, Twitter-tots and Internuts! Les didn’t withhold all that from Lisa!!” but what Batiuk isn’t going to concede is that he damned well would have given the chance. Even in his dreams, Les is a horrible, vain, condescending and spineless idiot who thinks that his needs are the axis about which the World rotates and that Lisa had no right to agency as a person because it would be used against him.

    Ah, well. Back to watching him spew ill-informed nonsense about comics and Hollywood Monday.

  15. @Nathan Orbal: What we’re dealing with is the same nonsense that made For Better Or For Worse so easy to criticize. StaLynn displayed the same refusal to properly construct a story, the same refusal to go over the work to spot logical flaws, the same whining refusal to understand that this matters and even the same insistence that expecting anything like competence came from hatred and jealousy. We can thus look forward to an indeterminate future in which we wait for Les to have his joyful reunion with the woman he thinks everyone should throw under the bus so he can pose as someone human beings could actually not kill on sight. Meanwhile, I’m hoping for a real happy ending in which a large Russian man tells him “I have plan for you….MORE PAIN!!!!”

  16. It’s one thing to retcon things that happened 30 years ago, but it’s another thing to retcon something that happened last week.

  17. Jimmy

    Honest question; that’s Barry Balderman and not Bull Bushka?


    We hope you’ve enjoyed, “No Morals Theatre”

    -Crow T Robot, MST3K

  19. @Jimmy – it’s a good question–Barry was seen, previously, to have brown hair, after all. Must be the Rapid Aging Westview Syndrome.

    I think the assumption is that it’s Barry, because Barry delivered the news about the DJ.

  20. Mister Miggle

    Look at it this way: since the entire past month is going to be handwaved away as a dream, now we’re probably going to get to deal with at least another week of the REAL reunion!

    Somebody hide my gun…and the pills…and the bucket of ice cream.

  21. Charles

    Oh well, at least Batiuk can now attempt to write off the half-assedness of this arc as Les being a simple-minded dunderhead.

    It won’t work, but he can argue it at least.