Legends of the Hidden Temple

See today’s strip, in which two women express unfathomable amounts of concern for Les. Don’t laugh though (hard to do, I know), you don’t want to be one of those left-behind children Les is always talking about.

Les… are you okay?
Lisa asked, noticing
No glasses temple

Cayla concerned
Les’ tie is made of hair
And we all know whose


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

28 responses to “Legends of the Hidden Temple

  1. HAnzMFG


  2. SpacemanSpiff85

    I would really love if he was dead here. Mostly because everyone but Cayla is just standing around watching, but apparently not caring too much.

  3. “Sorry… I just had… a panic attack… thought Lisa might not end up dying back there and I’d have spent my whole career for nothing.”

  4. Epicus Doomus

    So the Pulitzer (nominated) “writer” is going to have this be nothing more than a Dick Face “dream sequence”? Seriously? Les “dreams” about other people having in-depth conversations with themselves? And the only thing HE did during this dream was to cover a book with a piece of cardboard? F*cking wow. That’s as hacky as anything he’s ever hacked up before. Just abysmal. Once again AuthorGuy cowers away from a premise and leaves it lying there in a puddle of ultra-lameness. A truly sorry display.

  5. Gyre

    Another two panel strip. Some clever people over at Square Root of Minus Garfield have made some amusing examples of when a Garfield comic could have been improved by shortening it. This is not those comics. This is a continuation of trying to pad things out with time travel filler.

    I’m serious when I say that. Time travel filler. The really big thing that cold actually make for a fun story has been mostly used for filler. Maybe Tom Batiuk really is sick and tired of working on this and is just trying to pad it out till the fiftieth anniversary.

  6. He’s NOT going to have this be a dream sequence? In 2015?

    The only way a dream sequence would work in 2015 is as an FU to his critics. “Ha ha, I can get away with anything, and all your nitpicking means naught to me, as I can deflect it away with these SYNDICATE CHECKS! Ha ha, losers, I can do whatever I want, because the only people who care–you–don’t matter to anyone! Ha ha ha ha!”

  7. bad wolf

    Well, the Funky time travel had a dream framing device, sort of a Life on Mars deal, with the auto accident. This… hasn’t?

    Honestly, a dream is about the only thing that lets most of this cast off the hook for the last couple of weeks. With it, it’s a padded diversion that didn’t accomplish any less than any other month. Without it, they’re a bunch of murderers, basically. Oh, and accomplices to rape, that too. Insider traders? Look, white collar crime is pretty small potatoes next to the first two.

  8. Please be a heart attack, please be a heart attack….

  9. billytheskink

    Pocket protector
    Classic nerd trope, but Les’
    Protects not a thing

    Is that Jeff Murdoch
    Strolling through the first panel?
    Guess Les IS dreaming

    Sprawled out on floor
    Panel 2 reminiscent
    Of John Darling’s end

    Who could have shot Les?
    List of suspects is as long
    As China’s Great Wall

    And here’s an almost haiku from the Boot Hill graveyard in Arizona.

    Here lies Lester Moore
    Four slugs from a .44
    No less, no more

  10. sgtsaunders

    That’s vomit on Les’ tie. Harry’s Electric Punch was too much for him, and he’s done passed out. He was mumbling something like “Why do they have to make this shit so goddam pure…” and suddenly he was doing the Big Spit and then just as suddenly – wham! – flat on his back. Lights out, Sparky.

  11. ComicTrek

    Uh, what? What exactly is going on here? (*brain bulb*) Awww, no!! Please don’t tell me that this was all Les’s dream!

  12. SpacemanSpiff85

    If this was Les’s dream, wouldn’t there have been at least one Amazonian jungle woman?

  13. What would really salvage this is if Les’s conscience finally caught up with him.

  14. The only way this could be worse is—I got nothin’.

  15. Merry Pookster

    I think it was the ole’ Pookster who mentioned….ala Dallas shower scene.

  16. Nathan Obral

    So this whole time pool stuff was all a dream by Les, who must have suffered a dizzy spell when the BM Band started to play “In The Mood” 50 straight times.

    This whole storyline is a gigantic middle finger thrust to the readers in the name of “art” and “writing.”

  17. Meanwhile this week, Non Sequitur does a time travel arc with an iPhone that’s actually funny and makes sense.

    I’m not sure what’s going on with lights-out-Les, but if this month long arc ends with Les in a casket, it will all have been worth it.

  18. And when he wakes up in the hospital, it will Lisa standing next to him and he (and we) will realize that TB didn’t steal from Doctor Who or Back to the Future. TB was stealing from “Peggy Sue Got Married.” It’s a perfect way to reset, but I don’t think it’s gonna happen – but I can hope.


    Did Tom Batiuk subtly pull a “John Darling”, here? Cause if he did, I would forgive him of everything. Please let it be that, because i will pull an epic eye roll if this just a dream sequence.

  20. Jim in Wisc.

    If L’Auteur Glorieux had the balls to pull off something bold here, that would have been Lisa leaning over Les.

  21. Professor Fate

    This brings to mind the classic Monty Python Bit:
    “So it was all a dream.”
    “No sonny, this is the dream, you’re still back in the cell.”

  22. DOlz

    @oddnoc, “The only way this could be worse is—I got nothin’.”

    Unfortunately TB probably does.

  23. Epicus Doomus

    Even during dream sequences Batiuk adheres to his very strict “nothing can ever happen” policy. It appears that he assumes his “readers” are just too slow-witted to follow actual stories. Or he’s just lazier than a fat cat on a fleece blanket.

  24. Pope Frankie

    Ding dong! Goatee Boy’s dead!
    Which goatee?
    The big poosee!
    Ding dong, the smug Goatee is dead!

    Hi ho, the Derry-o!
    Good news comes from O-hi-O!
    Ding dong, that stupid b**ch is deeeeeeaaaaad…

  25. bad wolf

    @Bill–come to think of it, your hypothesis from last week was probably my favorite of the possible outcomes of this whole mess.

  26. Okay, so this was Batiuk’s homage to Harlan Ellison’s “Delusion for a Dragon Slayer”: After his death, Les was plunged into a fantasy scenario which he believes is the fulfillment of his dreams, but is actually a test of his character. By not using this miraculous opportunity to save Lisa, while simultaneously convincing himself he’s acting nobly by “sparing” her the knowledge to decide for herself, Les has failed the test and is condemned for all eternity.

    That’s gotta be it, right?

  27. I don’t think it’s a dream of Les’; that would create a significant continuity issue. (I know, I know… we’re talking the Funky Winkerbean strip, not the DC Universe or Star Trek. But hear me out.)

    First of all, we haven’t previously seen anything related to Les fainting; today came totally out of the blue (go figure). Immediately prior to the start of the time pool segment, his last strip appearance was July 9 in which he was fretting about the DJ bailing and now them having to line up the rest-home band. So we’re left, with today’s strip, to infer that Les fainting in the present is related to him remembering something traumatic or getting hit with a shocking revelation, presumably related to Lisa since today’s first panel suggests just that having happened in the past. If the time pool segment has been a dream, he would have had to pass out at the start of it in the strip, not after it has concluded, right? Right?! I can hear you breathing out there folks… whew. But wait, what if all the stress of planning the reunion combined with the final straw of the DJ/band disaster caused him to faint… admittedly, he would have done it “off camera,” the fainting not disclosed until today, because otherwise Batiuk would have given it all away, leaving everyone here unable to engage in any meaningful speculation over plot, motive, etc. since we would have known what was up from the get go.

    My head is hurting.

    So I actually think it’s all been a flashback of Crazy’s. Recall that in the July 11 strip, panel #1 had the present day Crazy suddenly realizing that the class reunion was “THE” reunion, saying, “Is this when it happened… or happens… or WILL happen!” Then in the next panel, which has those telltale brackets, past day Crazy begins the time pool segment, and the setup in panel #1 would appear to make panel #2 be one of Crazy’s memories, and the next couple of days maintain this theme.

    Oh wait…on July 16 the kids first appear in the present, and no panel brackets are used to signify a flashback/memory (or, for that matter, a dream). So we’ve now ruled out a dream by Les, and have possibly ruled out a flashback by present Crazy even though he does utter the confirming statement, “This IS the reunion where it happened!” In fact, however, that statement leads us to the the only viable option: all this is really happening, and somehow only Crazy, among all of characters who took the time pool trip,, had retained a memory of doing so.

    But that just creates so many loose ends that only a madman would write a story that tangled and unresolvable. (I know, I know…) So since I have been fascinated by time travel since I was a kid and have always loved untangling and resolving time travel paradoxes, I have concluded that:

    Crazy actually IS insane, has been in an asylum all this time, or maybe isn’t locked up but has had his craziness surface from time to time over the years, and this entire story arc is all some feverish fantasy of his. There was even some classic literary “foreshadowing”: on July 12 both present day and past day characters observe, “We don’t call him crazy for nothing.” I think this story arc has been another instance of Batiuk dealing with “real life serious issues” – in this instance, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and other mental illness issues. Clearly there will be an intervention and treatment, and in the end Crazy will be cured thanks to his loving, caring friends.

    BWAH-HA-HA-HAHHHH, I got it! Of course, there is an outside, very remote, miniscule, marginal chance that I am actually overthinking all this… But at least my head doesn’t hurt anymore.

  28. batgirl

    The little spirally line above Les’s head is, I fear, the sign that he has just passed out or fainted. It should really have little stars or twittering birds spinning with it, but maybe that’s a bit too cartoonish.

    What this smells like to me is that awful old TV sitcom trope, that nothing can ever change, so the show can be syndicated and run out of order. Gilligan’s Island is the Platonic ideal of this, but basically it means there can be no long story arc, no character arc. Anything that changes within an episode (winning the lottery, gaining psychic powers, falling in love) must be brought back to the status quo (stasis quo?) by the last commercial break. So here we have the chance to change the past, to save Lisa (and save Cindy from marrying Funky), but not only can none of that happen, but none of the present-day characters can change anything about their present lives.
    This is why I never liked sitcoms: the constant message of ‘you can’t get away, you can’t change anything in your life, you are powerless.’