Running Up The Snore

Link To Today’s Strip

Where have you gone, Jarod Posey? A lonely nation turns its eyes toward you….wooo hoo hoo. So I guess the big “joke” here is that now the Scapegoats are the ones humiliating their opponents instead of the other way around. Hold on for a second, I have to regain my composure after all that hearty and totally unforced laughter.

Anyhow, some parent from Optimism High (boy does that get even less funny every single time, I’ll tell you what) has filed some sort of “anti-bullying” (and wow, am I sick of typing those words) complaint against the idiot Bull for running up the score. When it used to happen to the Goats it was just more morose downtrodden hilarity but now when they do it, it’s downright actionable. Unfunny, implausible and stupid, aka the FW trifecta.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

23 responses to “Running Up The Snore

  1. Rusty

    This will be a new level of suck.

  2. SpacemanSpiff85

    The second panel here is completely superfluous. It’s yet another case of Batiuk needlessly repeating something, since “bullying complaint” is repeated in the very next panel.
    The worst part is that I just know Les is going to show up before this storyline’s over, probably for Bull to reminiscence and say something idiotic along the lines of “I used to (pretend?) bully you, and now all these years later, it turns out I’m still a bully.”.

  3. billytheskink

    Unfunny and stupid, yes, but implausible? TB actually ripped this directly from real events: a parent of a player on a Texas high school team that got beat 91-0 back in 2013 filed a bullying complaint against the coach of the winning team. TB, put a new spin on the story, though, he changed the score to 93-0.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    billy: TB actually ripped this directly from real events…upon waking from a studio snooze, his eye caught a glimpse of a headline on a sports page discarded in his wastebasket. The rest, as they say, is (zzzzzzzzzzz).

  5. bad wolf

    Um.. did the parents file the complaint with the local TV station news?

  6. Nice find, there, @billytheskink! This actual quote from that story is unbelievably, inexplicably Batiukian:

    I’m upset about it,” Buchanan said. “I don’t like it. I sit there the whole third and fourth quarter and try to think how I can keep us from scoring.”

    “I even subbed in the mascot to play quarterback,” Buchanan did not add, because this is Texas, which is ¼ inch from Westview.

  7. You get the feeling Batiuk doesn’t really want to do a bullying arc, because that would mean actually having to consider the motivations and feelings of The Kids These Days. So he goes for all these half-assed measures featuring Chullo Boy and Bull “Even When I Win, I Lose” Bushka.

  8. If this is Tom Batiuk’s take on the “microaggression” stuff that has overgrown our universities like some kind of Triffid weed, then I applaud him. Though I suspect the thread will go nowhere, with all speed. And it will be relevant to noone, anywhere.

    Bull definitely seems to be the “hapless” character in this strip. He tries, he tries, and he’s always smacked down. In almost all cases, off-screen. (We saw ChulloScot win the game, but only through the comments of onlookers. This latest score comes to us through Chullo, with no scenes at all of the actual game.)

    It certainly is strange, how Batiuk views his characters. In the “hapless” camp I see only Bull and Funky. Funky has been ground down so far that his only ambition is to eat the occasional donut without divine reprisal. Bull, on the other hand, seems to have an endless stream of victories snatched away by the most idiotic of reasons.

    In fact, the last unqualified triumph for Bull was….drum roll…when he trained Les well enough to climb Mount Kilimanjaro.

    Since then, since it doesn’t help Les at all, Bull has been pooped on more than any other FW character I can think of.

    I don’t know why Batiuk just doesn’t go with his interest and make this “the wish fulfillment of every Les Moore ever” comic.

    Oh, and Funky? Screw you too, for saddling this comic with your idiotic name rather than the wonder of Les–said someone, somewhere.

  9. Guest Page Turner Author

    So, there are actually men in suits, blue suits, who actually have as their charge to deliver “Cease and desist” notices to high school football coaches.

  10. HAnzMFG

    Ugh. Of COURSE when Funky Winkerbean circa 2015 decides to launch a big story arc about a topical and relevant subject, it’s given a completely unrealistic and silly premise. So much for being a “serious” comic strip.

  11. Haha, and after reading the comments, looks like I was wrong about it being unrealistic! Reality-based as always, well done, Tommy B. Wonder how long this farce is gonna last.

  12. Jimmy

    Holy shit! I inadvertently called this storyline on Monday when I said the Scapegoats are the real bullies.

  13. Methinks that Tom Batiuk wanted the opponent to be the Little Sisters of the Poor, but thought that was too ridiculous, so he created the Optimism High Fighting Chances instead.

    If Batiuk was going for something semi-serious… I can’t begin to describe the exact level of fail he just achieved.

  14. What irritates me is not just that we’re being asked to watch a ‘bullying’ arc that has some parent sue because his or her precious child got beaten at sports. What bothers me is that no one is even thinking about suing Doctor Lethal or the lab she used for mixing up test results. In the real world, the sky would have turned legal pad yellow the instant someone said “Oops, you’re dead.”

  15. Chyron HR

    “Bullying is just something that losers whine about as an excuse for being losers. It’s all a big joke, right?”
    – Tom “Give Award Now Please?” Batiuk

  16. I think it might be more appropriate if he based an arc on this story.

  17. Jimmy

    @bobanero, I guess a teenager expressing angst and displeasure is something new to those people.

  18. Monotony

    This bullying arc is based on real events, but not the story out of Texas. In fact, Batuik himself was once served with legal papers by Optimism. I believe it ended in a restraining order.

  19. Jim in Wisc.

    @billytheskink I guess the only thing that surprises me about that story is that the parents only filed a bullying complaint. and didn’t actually file a full-on lawsuit. Afterall, parents and students are all too often suing over (usually very well-deserved) low and failing grades.


    This…THIS is the anti-bullying arc??? Okay. I’ll give him credit for at least putting a new spin on this. But as others have pointed out this is a complaint and not a lawsuit. Though I guess we can tip our cap to Batiuk for realism here. Who the hell would sue Westview or Bull Bushka? Neither of them have any fricking money!!

  21. Amen to all the above. I just read about that 91-0 Texas deal, and while I can appreciate to a degree TB’s ripped-from-the-headlines angle here, I’ll be mildly surprised if he plays it strictly for laughs, mocking the whole notion – as it should be mocked in real life. Seriously – what are people these days thinking?!? It’s actually an opp for him to highlight some of this over-the-top behavior with regards to high school sports and, by completely turning up the roast, make some of those relevance points for today’s teenagers that is his holy mandate. Will have to wait and see, but I bet he fumbles the ball on the 1-yard line then switches arcs before anyone notices.

    These are high schoolers, for chrisssakes. Toto, we’re not in day care anymore. When my kid was in the 4th and 5th grade I was the assistant coach on his Little League team, and the policy was to simply “stop counting the runs” on the score boards or over the PA system if the run differential reached a certain level. And while I certainly appreciated the sentiment behind it, particularly when we are talking kids that age, I think most of them could have handled getting their asses kicked. Their parents, on the other hand… I mean, c’mon, the whole notion of teaching sportsmanship contains multiple levels, among them learning how to take your medicine and then figure out how to improve, not sit around whining about it. Almost as bad: in a nod to the self-esteem parenting movement, both the Little League and my son’s YMCA basketball league also gave out generic end-of-season trophies to EVERY kid, regardless of their relative contributions to the team that season. We moved recently, and when we were packing up his junk it was clear he didn’t give a shit about all these trophies that had accumulated, and he even told me that he had always thought trophies should be for when you accomplish something, not just for simply showing up.

  22. Professor Fate

    Fred Blurt -I grew up back in the 60’s and early 70’s and was probably worse than Les Moore was at sports and ridiculed accordingly – and I was bullied for real as well. when I asked for help I was told on both fronts to take my medicine which nurtured nothing but my own self loathing and a deep distrust of authorities who as far as I was able to ascertain were more concerned with keeping up appearances than actually helping a kid in trouble. therapy and years have helped but what is broken early never quite heals right.
    It’s why The Author’s playing bullying for laughs bothers me so – kids kill themselves as a result of bullying – and this arc which seems that it wants to ridicule the whole notion I find deeply disturbing.

  23. Professor – I totally get that, yeah. I’m from the same era, and I guess I would have been halfway between Les and Funky: pretty much a helpless geek socially but just enough of a distracted teenager to coast under the radar of most of the jocks and bullies (becoming a stoner probably saved my life too). That said, early on I took a lot of crap when it came to participating in sports (the joke was that I was just good enough to play Little League but they put me in right field and 9th batting to minimize the damage), and it reached a peak of ridicule and being shoved around in the hallways when I had to skip football practice one day a week for typing lessons. Thanks, mom. Well, I did turn out to be a writer, so…. This in no way minimizes what you endured of course. And I absolutely see red whenever I hear about kids being bullied. We actually had a situation on my son’s Little League team where I had to step in to help a kid who was worse a player than even I was, with a couple of the more jock-type kids mocking him, etc. The head coach made it clear that kind of junk was not going to be tolerated, and I think he handled it pretty expertly. Meanwhile, I had the kid’s mom bring him to practice a little early for several days so I could work with him in the batting cage, and I kid you not, when he finally hit his first ball in a game the whole team went nuts. Pardon the happy movie ending here, but that’s exactly how it was.

    Sorry to get so “heavy” at what should be a more lighthearted forum. I’m just disappointed with the current arc more so than usual because it strikes a nerve. At any rate, just to be clear here, my “take your medicine” comment was strictly within the context of organized sports when it comes to losing games and sometimes having to accept the fact that your team does, in fact, stink, and that in the real world no one is going to step in and stop the overachievers from running up the proverbial score. That’s partly why TB’s half-baked commentary on bullying here bugs me as well. True-to-life tale notwithstanding, I think the basic absurdity of the scenario undermines the very notion of what a meaningful bullying arc could be, because this lopsided score stuff is so far removed from what LITERAL bullying comprises. Per your comment about kids killing themselves: yes, absolutely. And I realize that this strip already had a teen suicide arc many years ago, but here, if TB dipped into it again via, say, a cyber-shaming/bullying storyline, maybe, just maybe he’d come up with the goods, shock a few people, and ultimately make a powerful statement – and maybe even snag that elusive Pulitzer, eh?

    Ahh, I give him too much credit….