All About (Christmas) Eve

It sure took long enough, but today it finally occurs to Dinkle just how far from the big time he has fallen. The director whose band once marched in the Tournament of Roses Parade, the author and autobiographer, the egomaniac who envisioned his band marching from his giant, inflatable head, must spend this Christmas conducting for an audience of one.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

20 responses to “All About (Christmas) Eve

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Meanwhile a forlorn Harriet Dinkle washes down another Ativan with another glass of wine, grabs a box cutter and begins to slash Harry’s beloved Sousa records one at a time. Merry Christmas indeed.

    Seriously though, what a sad-sack-sorry gag this piece of shit is. I mean what can you even say at this point? And it’s a single-paneler too, the ultimate in laziness. Simply a pitiful display.

  2. SpacemanSpiff85

    Considering they only put out three chairs, Dinkle really shouldn’t be surprised.

  3. “Most of the Residents” are still trying to complete “Part 3” of the “Mole Trilogy.”

    Ha ha Batiuk, out-obscured you!

  4. Guest Page Turner Author

    I thought that all of the band members were residents!!!! Why did nearly every resident go home for Christmas, except for those that signed up for the band?

  5. I’m not sure what to make of this strip. On the one hand, most of the residents are spending time with their loved ones, which is a pleasant circumstance that doesn’t occur often enough in this strip. On the other hand, as Guest Page Turner Author points out, all the band members are residents so we can only conclude that nobody wants to be with them at Christmas, or even bother coming to their little holiday concert (apart from the sweet little old lady in the wheelchair who, we can only assume, is in the late stages of Alzheimer’s or something similar), which is more in keeping with the usual mood.

    I can only assume that future!Crankshaft is tucked away in a room somewhere, forgotten by everybody as he deserves.

  6. billytheskink

    This doesn’t totally surprise me. I mean, if you are willing to hang out with Dinkle as often as these residents are, you are probably either avoiding your family or they are avoiding you.

    Sad? Yes, but lest we forget TB’s stock in trade.

  7. “Won’t somebody think of the old people?” -the Funky Winkerbean mission statement

  8. They probably did only the self-important jerk didn’t listen because it wasn’t the praise he lives for. If this were a more cutting strip, we’d have a caption: “Here, we see the North American Short-Sighted Egomaniac in its native habitat: being made to look a fool because yet another attempt to be the centre of attention collides messily with reality.”

    Ah, well. At least this time, he’s not ignoring the National Weather Service because of his idiotic belief that God would not allow a storm to rain on his parade.

  9. Epicus Doomus

    If everyone went home to their families, why is Morty there? Funky was Mr. Congeniality last week, now he’s leaving his suddenly lucid dad to spend Xmas Eve with that weirdo Dinkle? And how did this band just happen to include the residents who didn’t have anything better to do on Christmas? Was that accidental or by design?

  10. DOlz

    @Epicus Doomus, “Was that accidental or by design?”

    I don’t know if this was by accident, but I firmly believe nothing in this strip is designed or plotted anymore.

  11. Rusty Shackleford

    I’m with Paul on this: The residents are sticking it to Dinkle because he is a pompous a$$

  12. Jimmy

    Here’s another take: they give this lady a special memory on what may be her last Christmas.

    Are we supposed to like Dinkle now? This strip suggests otherwise.

  13. Hannibal's Lectern

    @Jimmy: that’s a sweet thought. It obviously has no place in the Funkyverse.

  14. Harry, hate to break it to you, but your audience of one has her hearing aid turned off.

  15. That’s not how a nursing home or assisted living facility is at all during the holidays, Batiuk. What planet are you from?

  16. bayoustu

    Went home for Christmas?! Maybe that’s actually Summer and Keisha’s dorm… it HAS been a long time since we’ve seen them!


    Oh, Harry! You optimist! The only place your audience has gone to is that Great Montoni’s Pizza place in the sky!

  18. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Obviously, Funky can’t be bothered with showing up for his dad’s concert. Nice. Unless that IS Funky heading up the Second Trombone Section. It’s hard to tell. Batty draws them about the same.

    I really don’t know what Batboy is going for here. Is it supposed to be funny that they put on a concert and the facility (which is a pretty big building, if I recall) is empty? What’s funny about that? Or is he trying to warm our hearts by telling us the entire population of the facility is with relatives for the holidays? That’s kind of stupid because a facility of this type is for people who need constant professional care due to being physically and/or mentally unable to care for themselves.

    I’m not a Comedy Expert, but I know that even in the funny papers, something has to make some sense on some level. The idea of a large nursing facility emptying out is too ludicrous to be the basis for some kind of punchline.

    I would have laughed, maybe, if we were told some kind of competing activity, like a talk on organizing your sock drawer, had taken away most of the potential audience. But what would I know? I’ve never been nominated for a Pulitzer.

  19. Rusty Shackleford

    Batty is just pandering to the Pulitzer people. When you look at it in this light, it all makes sense. Wait, no it doesn’t. Who knows what goes through his mind.

  20. I seem to recall the band Genesis (in their early days) playing to an audience of one. They began with “Any requests?” and somehow managed to make a career for themselves.