Slow down, Holly! I’m not sure what multi-verse you’re in in today’s strip but cheesy superhero movies don’t usually get Oscars, storyboard artists for said movies even less.
Why would Funky and Holly be “the first” you’d invite, anyway? Wow, that’s bleak.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Right, because the substitute storyboard artist is always invited to the hottest parties.
“And the Academy Award for most re-writes in a shitty made for TV superhero movie goes to…Mopey Pete and Boy Lisa!”
“Wow! What an honor! We’d like to thank Montoni’s, comic books and…”
(music begins playing)
If they were handing out awards for pointless, witless and entertainment-free comic strips we all know who’d need a pickup truck to cart the statuettes away. It’d be fantastic if this was the last we’d be seeing of Boy Lisa and Co. but given his affinity for his magical little imaginary comic book company, I seriously doubt it.
If the first folks you think to invite to a party are your former landlord and his wife, your social life might not be especially healthy.
Let’s calculate the number of continuity errors and “Huh?” moments here –
Lead-up that discloses when Darin and Jessica discuss the feasibility of moving her and Skylar to LA.
Sharing this news with the Westview crowd. (Instead of the rant about the Robert Plant/Emmy Lou Harris music connection).
Any kind of notice to, or acknowledgment of the existence of, the Faiorgoods (who The Author seems to forget in his master story raised Darin from infancy).
Notice to the Dead St. Lisa cult of the move before impressing their services as furniture movers (assuming that Darin values some connection to his half-sister).
Acknowledgement of the existence of Lisa’s parents (Darin’s biological grandparents) who are the same age (pressumably) as Funky’s father and therefore could conceivably be alive.
What happened to Jessica’s mother? Wouldn’t Jessica want to tell her?
Why would Funky and Holly be the first choice for invitations to any awards ceremony? Neither Darin nor Jessica are related to them at all. Does having Funky and Holly as their employers entitle them to this treatment? Is there some sort of addictive substance in Montoni’s pizza that binds employees to them foreigners ?
The Author’s answer to the above challenges to his competence in handling a storyline – “How dare you raise these questions. It’s called writing.”
Is he mailing it I like this because he can’t be bothered to actually put in real work on his creation or is there some mental health issue that is affecting his ability to be consistent?
“Foreigners” should be “forever”.
I really can’t believe that even Batiuk thinks his readers would just be awestruck that three of his more boring characters are going to Hollywood, which is basically all this plot’s presented. No humor, no drama, nothing. Just “Hollywood!”, over and over.
To pick up on today’s title: Hollywood? Hollyshouldnthave. Also, Hollywouldntnomiateatvmoviefortheoscars. Hollycant. For those keeping score at home, add Oscar eligibility to your list of things Batiuk knows nothing about.
As if we needed more proof that isolation is bad for the artist, we have this example of his not quite realizing that people cannot read his mind. Since he knows the steps that preceded this not really funny strip about a rather dull-witted woman heading towards an indeterminate future, he assumes that his readers know them without having to have it explained to them. It’s better to decry how helpless we are in the face of iTunes than to set up a storyline because he won’t allow the necessary presence of the person whose job it is to tell him when he’s writing horseshit.
Tune in next week, when MyTunes’ suggestions get even more muddled after it learns that Blondie is Going to California.
What happened to Holky’s nose? Did she get a nose job?
Oh, and he is using the tired old plot device from Laverne and Shirley: we’re moving to Hollywood!
Maybe it’s Stockholm Syndrome?
Anyway, I believe that Starbuck Jones is a feature film, but it’s being produced by Cable Movie Enterprises because TB can’t be bothered to create another production company. It’s the same reason that Bull does multiple duty as athletic director, football coach, women’s basketball coach, and physical therapist.
What really bothers me is the fact that Jessica and her toddler son are traveling alone across the country in what appears to be a death trap moving van.
Gerald, the “foreigners” thing was the funniest thing that’s ever happened in this strip.
I really hope this means we’ll never see Darrin again, but I fear Epicus is right–Tom Batiuk loves his fictional comic book company far more than the Funky Winkerbean strip. In fact, he seems to hate the strip.
Meanwhile, over in Krankenschäft, The Author made a joke about blackstrap molasses that no one understands.
And you’ll never hear from them again!
If Durwood gets an Oscar, then we know that Hollywood has a race problem!
Goes back way further than Laverne and Shirley…
And for the people that raised Darin from infancy, they get bupkis. Not ever a joke about how Boy Lisa’s foster father can’t even say goodbye or something. This strip really is both badly done and mean spirited – which is hard to do but the Author manages.
Let’s not forget that Darin is such a shitheel that he can’t be bothered to move his wife and perpetual toddler son. Nope, let them take care of it; he has pizza box furniture to assemble.
Well, Boy Lisa more or less abandoned his adoptive parents when he discovered that Her Holiness was his biological mother. After that Lisa suddenly became his “mom” and the Fairgoods were exposed as the loveless frauds they always were. Now the Moores are his “family”.
And Jessica’s mother only appears in a John Darling context, otherwise she’s out of the picture too.
The only positive about this would be a possible return of Frankie. But no doubt, Batiuk would mess that up again.
I assume that by “Oscars party” she means the one hosted by the lovable Sesame Street grouch. In his garbage can. With lots of Montoni’s crusts.
@TFH
Yeah, was gonna add that Laverne and Shirley stole it from someone else..and on and on.
“You and Holly are going to be invitations for the Oscar party that first goes out!” [See? I can make clunky dialogue too. It’s called “writing.”]
“That’ll be swell! Save us a table with your mom and the Fairgoods!”
“Who?”
“This strip really is both badly done and mean spirited – which is hard to do but the Author manages.”
You’ve hit the nail on the head. The mean-spirited aspect is what lends credence to the theory that “RedRonin” over at Comics Kingdom may actually be The Author.
The combination of the two attributes is what makes reading this strip like witnessing a horrific train wreck. It’s appalling but at the same time something about the awfulness prevents the reader from averting his eyes.