On The Vast Historical Significance Of Doodles

Link To Today’s Strip

These comic book fantasies of his are getting weirder all the time. Didn’t think that was possible. Today we learn that retro Pete once visited the Superman creator’s (sigh) cousin’s house where he was shown an old piece of paper with incredibly vast historical significance, if you’re totally obsessed with comic books, that is. I guess those bubble corners in panel three signify that this is an old memory within a purely speculative faux-reminiscence-flashback, which tells you how convoluted and nonsensical this mess has become. Does BanTom seriously believe anyone anywhere is interested in this? And if so, why?

It’s just all over the place too. He has to once again mention Superman’s ties to Cleveland, another one of those mundane things that he finds fascinating for some reason. Then he segues into the Superman doodle via the dumbest segue of the week, some bullshit story about retro Pete knowing some guy’s cousin. Uh yeah, retro Pete, sure ya did. At look at that retro Pete smile, he looks like he’s struggling to remember exactly how to do it. Brutal.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

18 responses to “On The Vast Historical Significance Of Doodles

  1. SpacemanSpiff85

    When is this supposed to be taking place? I’d say the forties, right? Like, ten years or so after Superman was created? So why are these two imaginary losers drooling over all this like it’s ancient history, just like Batiuk is in 2016?

  2. Epicus Doomus

    SpacemanSpiff85: And not only that, but if Pete was so aware of the history of the comics business why did he allow himself to end up in the same position as the Superman guys did? He learned absolutely nothing from it and now he’s complaining about it. It’s that Batiukian world view again, like you can’t ever win due to forces far beyond your control and nothing can ever change that.

    I always assumed this Batom Comics stuff was taking place in the 1950s, although “Starbuck Jones” was a new title back when Old Funky reminded his young self to buy and stash a copy of issue #1 and that was definitely the early 1970s. So who the hell knows? I’m not even sure which characters are speaking anymore or what they’re talking about.

  3. SpacemanSpiff85

    @Epicus Doomus:
    We talk a lot on here about how Batiuk must not have an editor, because otherwise what he writes wouldn’t be so lousy. I think it’s worse than that. I think Batiuk doesn’t even review his own work after he’s written it, or stop to think about whether or not it makes any sense. I don’t see how he could, given how much it contradicts itself, let alone how incredibly dull and uninteresting it is.

  4. Great, now the flashback characters are having flashbacks. Eventually this will end with some Far Side-esque tableau of amoeba discussing comic books, only without anything that made Far Side funny.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    SpacemanSpiff85: The really baffling thing is how incredibly consistent he is. Not a single aspect of this thing makes any sense at all on any level no matter how you look at it and not only that, it’s true of EVERY FW story. It’s like he reverse edits himself, going through each story to ensure all bits of common sense that might have slipped through are removed. He’s infallible that way.

    TheDiva: And the characters having the flashbacks are only speculative characters the main characters are imagining. It’s all too weird.

  6. SpacemanSpiff85

    @Epicus Doomus:
    Just look at Crankshaft. He’s been doing a storyline about antimatter brownies. For over a month. And apparently he didn’t even look on Wikipedia for ten seconds about antimatter, because he’s consistently shown it repelling things. Which is not at all how antimatter works. I’m pretty sure he just went with the first vaguely sciencey term he remembered from Flash comics without doing the least bit of research.

  7. billytheskink

    Oh, so this flashback thingy takes place in Cleveland, no wonder the Cuyahoga used to catch on fire.

    Yes, flushing all that toxic ink was awful for the environment, but it’s hard to blame the people of Cleveland. They just weren’t well-informed back then and at 10 cents a book, Starbuck Jones was significantly cheaper than toilet paper.

  8. It does seem like the Batom mythology he created is becoming an obsession. And his inability to keep timelines straight is on display. The Batom history he’s written on his site dates the beginning of Starbuck Jones to the mid-1950’s, making it impossible for teenaged Funky, even if his graduation date were shifted back to 1972, to buy Issue #1 new in the drugstore as told in the Funky car crash arc.

  9. So, any bets as to what the sideways panel we’re getting Sunday is going to be about? My guess is that we’re in for either Retro Pete as Superman or more yapping about girling up comics is gross.

  10. Batiuk doesn’t need an editor. He has sortware for that.

  11. Continuity Police Memo: we are currently on strike.

  12. Professor Fate

    So if I get this straight, this is Mopey Pete imagining his batom comics doppelgänger talking about a memory he has. And we care why? This is the kind of thing you see in grade z movies like Meas of the Lost Women.

  13. Smirks 'R Us

    BatHack must think we’re on the edge of our seats waiting for the big reveal tomorrow. Sorry Batom, my seat is fully occupied. To paraphrase a fellow beady eyed nitpicker, ponderous, man, just freakin’ ponderous.

  14. HeyItsDave

    I was in Toldeo once visiting my cousin, and his daughter-in-law’s brother’s friend took me to see a lamppost where Jerry Siegel’s dog would have pissed if they had walked by there. Boy, those Ohio roots run deep.


    I fully expect at some point we will have a flashback within a flashback.

  16. @ Professor Fate – Agreed. I’ll go farther. Even “Manos: The Hands of Fate” had a more coherent plot.

  17. Hasn’t this been done before? Wasn’t there a long story about Pete visiting Siegel or Shuster’s house to break his writer’s block?

    This is storytelling by a small child–you know, the child keeps coming up with stuff, but the listener says “Well, why doesn’t he use the bicycle?” so the kid has to say, “Oh, it, um, got broken when it crossed the bridge” or something. Planning? Revision? Continuity? Those are filthy words to use!

  18. @Smirks R Us: Is that a Casey Kasem reference?