Sex Tripe Thing

Link To Today’s Strip

That’s not really a pun, Mason. And did he actually pronounce the parentheses, or were they merely implied? Well, in any event, Cindy’s rampant insecurity is at least consistent with her character. I personally think she’s doomed here, which is also consistent with her character. And she’ll be wry and self-deprecating about it all, which again…

And what exactly is she talking about? His penis? Why BanTom, you racy PG-13 rapscallion! I would think the best thing that could happen to SJ would be, you know, FINISHING THE MOVIE but whatever you say there, Jarr. Given his propensity for doling out revenge on the cool kids from high school, I see Cindy eventually skulking back to Westview alone in shame, where she’ll probably have to accept some sort of pity-job at WHS as a visual arts teacher or something.

And this Starbuck Jones movie isn’t happening either. Two of his characters hitting it big in Hollywood, Cindy marrying a huge movie star…no way. FW Rule One – if it sounds too complicated or ambitious for FW, it is. Everyone gets their cosmic comeuppance in the Batiukverse and the best you can ever hope for is to carve out a tedious existence in your old hometown and accept your dismal fate. No way are these losers going to be the ones to prove otherwise.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

18 responses to “Sex Tripe Thing

  1. SpacemanSpiff85

    Working at the high school would be too good for Cindy, given how Batiuk is determined to make her suffer for being popular. I predict she tries to get a job there teaching the journalism class, only to realize that Les already is teaching it. He’ll make some lame observation about how much things have changed since high school, now that she wants what he has. And then she’ll go work part-time at Montoni’s.

  2. The only way the Starbuck Jones movie will be made is if Mason, Darrin and Pete all bring in the big gun–Les.

    You know that’s how Tom Batiuk would love to do it. Les would probably end up directing as well, because Les.

  3. billytheskink

    Officer: We’ve identified the body as Mason Jarr, the actor. His publicist told us that earlier today he was arguing with his fiancé, Cindy Summers, about whether to accompany her or co-star Marrianne Winters to the Starbuck Jones movie premier.

    Detective: Well, it looks like (puts on sunglasses) he took the fall


    Just in case anyone needed proof beyond this strip that owning a pair of sunglasses does NOT make you Horatio Caine.

  4. “Pardon the pun.”
    “Why, did you make one?”

  5. Jimmy

    I cracked up thinking about someone verbally indicating parentheses. I can just image the on-screen dialogue.

    “Stop right there, Evildoer! Open paranthesis dramatic pause close paranthesis. I’ve got you cornered! ”

    This Starbuck Jones flick might be the best movie since “The Room”.

  6. SpacemanSpiff85

    Also, the fact that Batiuk thinks there’s a pun in there explains a LOT about the supposed humor content in his strips.

  7. He doesn’t know what a pun is, he’s as filled with hatred for the popular kids as the maniac who does Fairly Odd Parents and he probably thinks that having them lead windblown lives in a decaying Rust Belt town is a happy ending. We’re not dealing with a sane, happy person here.

  8. Rusty Shackleford


    I found myself shouting this morning: WHAT PUN? WHAT IS HE TRYING TO SAY?

    Worst dialog ever, and I’m used to sitting in business meetings all day.

  9. Merry Pookster

    Cindy and the gang are all 53’ish having graduated 1983. Look around Hollywood Cindy…. You’re doomed.

  10. Well, it’s clear he’s doing the strip because it pays the bills. His only passions seem to be The Flash and his made-up comic book company. That’s where all his energy and creativity goes.

  11. HeyItsDave

    Ah, yeah, the adventures of Cindy and her dumb-as-rocks Sugar Baby at their beachfront estate. That’s the place, kids, that they’re going to abandon in favor of scenic Westview Ahia.

    Does T-Bats really think there’s a PUN in that panel? I thought he used to be a teacher. You’d think he’d know better.

  12. (pardon the nonsense)

    We’ve got two more days of strips this week, and I’m not optimistic that we’re going to see anything more than just two additional variations of “Cindy is jealous of Mason’s new co-star”.

    I had somehow forgotten about Mason and Cindy’s plan to get married, leave their sweet beachfront home in L.A. and allegedly thriving careers, and move to the armpit of America. I have no words to adequately describe the inanity of that premise.

  13. ComicBookHarriet

    Kudos to BillytheSkink. A little real CSI would certainly improve this strip.

  14. I can’t decide what annoys me more: Cindy’s jealousy/paranoia/insecurity which is bordering on pathological and clingy; or the Batiuk’s insistence on making a woman in her early-mid 50s look like a late 20-something so all her crying and self-doubt about her fading looks seem all the more whiny…

  15. Jimmy

    Does anyone else think Cindy looks like Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer?

  16. Does Mason Jarr the actor ever have to, you know, WORK for a living?? So far all I’ve ever seen him do is drive his Porsche up coastal highways, take Cindy out to a trendy restaurant, lounge on the beach, and now lounge on the patio of his Malibu mansion…

    Shouldn’t he be with the producers/director to jumpstart this project which is at least two years late and a hundred million over budget?? Barring that, shouldn’t he be searching for other projects to work on while this one is in limbo? Plenty of actors have done that before…

  17. Charles

    You know that’s how Tom Batiuk would love to do it. Les would probably end up directing as well, because Les.

    No he wouldn’t. Don’t be ridiculous.

    Tom Batiuk doesn’t know what a director is, so he wouldn’t have Les play that role. Lust for Lisa didn’t have a director, and neither does Starbuck Jones. They’ve got either long-suffering or smug betraying quisling screenwriters/picture-drawers or idiot uncouth producers. Those are the only people who work on a production.