Gallup and Doper

Just look at today’s strip. Kids these days… I tell ya.

With their chullos and their scarves and their short haircuts and their closed circuit television broadcasts and their disagreeable opinion polls and their polka dot boxer shorts that they expose to the world because they refuse to properly tighten their belts because they are all disrespectful punk hoodlums who will destroy America after we retire.

Those ungrateful seniors want to chose where they go on a trip meant to celebrate their impending graduation. How dare they?
Not that Owen, Cody, and company have earned much sympathy from us over their decade at Westview High School, but given that they endure Les and Kablichnick on a daily basis, they are definitely the lesser of two evils here. I politely applaud their efforts to stick it to the administration via sarcastic opinion poll.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “Gallup and Doper

  1. Epicus Doomus

    While this clumsily-worded strip isn’t the worst of the year by any means, IMO it’s just too soon for more Owen. Still, I was dreading the annual band convention arc which is usually buried in the doldrums of mid-winter, so I guess it could be a lot worse.

    Les from behind is just as annoying as Les from the front or side. Look at him there, smugly gazing at his class with that snide bearded stance of his. Such a dick.

  2. billytheskink

    “Clumsily-worded” is an understatement. If you read panel 1 out loud while walking you will literally trip over your words.

  3. SpacemanSpiff85

    I kind of enjoy that angle of Les. You can almost pretend it’s the perspective of someone creeping up from behind him to kill him.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    billy: He’s one of the unique wordsmiths of our time. Or, in Batiukian…”Among wordsmiths of our times he is among the uniquest ones at it”.

  5. Because God forbid anybody want to have fun or celebrate. This is Westview, people!

    Also, Owen, you can at least pretend you care about your school news gig and take off your freakin’ hat on camera.

  6. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    If Buddybrog ever opens a branch office in Antarctica, Odie will be their first choice. Except he might be a little warm down there, bundled up like that with all the wool shit he wears.

    Again, I marvel at the clunky writing Batty spews. It flows so freely from the Funky Felt Tip. How does he DO it? The only way I can come close is if I write a normal, simple statement in English, then run it through a “translation” app into Danish, then Russian, then Japanese, then back into English.

    And the underwear hanging out of the camerakid’s pants? That’s straight-up ghetto, homes. Knowmsayin’?

  7. SpacemanSpiff85

    Batiuk’s blog has a cover featuring what I suspect is Jupiter Moon. Of course Starbuck is about to rescue her. She’s blonde, wearing a miniskirt and screaming in terror as tentacles wrap around and between her legs.
    It’s amazing how something can be worse than you expect when you’re already expecting crap.

  8. We have ourselves a bit of a dilemma. After all, how is Batty going to remind us of his ever-lasting contempt for the students he taught ineptly IF he can’t show bored out of their mind modern day children who, despite his attempts to assure us that they’re incapable of learning things, demonstrate how bad Les and Kablichnick are at teaching?

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    @spaceman. If it were only true, then we might have an interesting story arc!

  10. Merry Pookster

    There is a big demand for the service industry in Las Vegas and that’s all those students could ever hope to aspire to ….so send out there for a head start…..and leave them.

  11. @Spaceman: Of COURSE the girl is a useless screaming idiot needing rescue by a man. The alternative to dimwit misogyny is Valerie Solanas and her suicide chambers, not equality because Batiuk is batshit nuts.


    Ft Lauderdale? If the kids want to rot with decaying elderly people, they could simply stay in Westview.

  13. Hannibal's Lectern

    @TFHackett: couldn’t resist the challenge…

    1. Buddyblog camera man (hoping to score with Cindy after Mason Jarr The Actor dumps her for his hot, young co-star) pulls back far enough to disguise most of her disgusting age-related wrinkles, while Bleat camera bully shoves the lens close enough to catch every one of Owen’s zits.

    2. Buddyblog tech has tablet and boobs, while Bleat tech has clipboard and is a boob.

    3. Cindy reads her news from both a tablet and a big-screen prompter (old folks and their bad vision, amirite?), while Owen receives it telepathically from Les’s swollen frontal lobe (notice that in panel 1 Owen’s eyes are clearly locked onto Les’s).

    4. Buddyblog cameraman communicates with producer via headset, while Bleat cameraman is frantically attempting to do so via text messaging.

    5. Buddyblog tech (with boobs and tablet) is paying attention to the broadcast, while Bleat tech (boob with clipboard) is rapturously lost in his Robert Plant playlist.

    6. WHS students and staff have hideously deformed thumbs, while Buddyblog staff apparently have no thumbs at all (notice how the cameraman must aim the camera using his palm).

  14. HeyItsDave

    @$$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$ – The Ft. Lauderdale reference is exactly what I would expect from T-Bats, because it was indeed the hottest spring break destination when Bats was a college student 40 YEARS AGO.

  15. Panel 3: Owen adds, “Ha-cha-cha! Twenty-three skidoo! I’d buy that for a dollar!”

  16. Don

    Why do I have the feeling that, in the end, they’re not going to go anywhere, but instead give the money they raised to some Cause Of The Week? For example, isn’t it about time for the mysterious same-sex couple from 2012 to be revealed?