20 thoughts on “Gluten For Punishment”

  1. Why does Tony want to do personal pan pizzas at Montoni’s? Thats a Chicago thing or a Pizza Hut thing…wouldn’t fly in Akron 🙂

  2. “Gluten For Punishment”…LOL. What can you really even say at this point? I don’t know what Starbuck Jones has to do with the solar system and neither does anyone else, as SJ is still as nebulous a concept as ever, but eight planets, a bunch of planetoid objects and satellites…this could go on for a while.

    The Titan: the congealing puddles of grease on each slice represent Titan’s great methane lakes. And speaking of methane…the Io Pie, which will have you erupting like Jupiter’s moon…get it? I’m making fart jokes and they’re STILL better than BanTom’s various belchings, sigh.

  3. How many more days of this crap are we going to have to endure? No one knows how to beat a dead horse like ol’ Tom.

  4. Looks like Montoni is following Les’ example of assuming the problem with the joke is the stupidity of the audience, not the ineptitude of the person who’s telling it. Christ, what an asshole.

  5. Um, yes Tony, you are the only one in Westview who watches the Science Channel. Everyone else, quite obviously, spends their free time reading Starbuck Jones comics… not that they could afford cable television anyways.

  6. Jesus, Funky looks like he’s 97 in the final panel. In tomorrow’s strip, Tony’s jokes will finally turn him into a mummified husk.

  7. “And donna forgetta my new MOON pizza — it’sa madda outta cheese! Mamma mia, these-a jokes are outta dis world!”

  8. This would’ve been funnier if it’d been topped with locally caught fish. Because of the dangerous levels of mercury in them.

  10. So today in addition to the unfunny joke we find out that Tony is also here to berate Funky for not being up on scientific factoids. Is there something in Westview’s water that makes everybody unfriendly?

  11. “How many more days of this crap are we going to have to endure? No one knows how to beat a dead horse like ol’ Tom.”

    The horse comes back to life after three days, ready to be beaten again………

  14. Considering tomorrow is Earth Day, I was wondering if this would be a clever lead up to an Earth pizza on Friday.. But then I realized I was mixing clever and Tom Batiuk in the same thought. I shan’t make that same trespass ever again.

  15. These are the weirdest and most unappetizing pizza toppings seen outside a classic TMNT episode. Seriously. How hard would it be to think of something that both fits the poor excuse for a joke AND people might actually want to eat?

  16. Remember when your kid was seven years old and discovered knock-knock jokes? For like a week, everything the kid said was a knock-knock joke and by the fourth or fifth day, just hearing the kid say “Hey Dad! Knock Knock!” made you wince until finally you didn’t say anything and the kid was like Dad! Knock knock!…Hey, Dad! Knock knock! Dad! and you finally turned to the kid and said Dad’s not home, he went up to the corner to get a pack of cigarettes and he’s never coming back!! REMEMBER? C’mon, I can’t be the only one goddammit.

    Well anyway, that’s what this week of strips is like.

  17. @HeyItsDave: That seriously made me laugh out loud.

    Fret not, dear hearts. If the banner is any indication, next week will be back to a topic relevant to young readers: teenage heart attacks.

  18. He’s beaten this horse so badly it has risen from the dead and has run away. Stop. Just stop. And really Coleslaw is the best you can come up with? How about ice cream? Or frozen yogurt? It’s stupid yes but not stomach churning.

  19. What I want to know is how the devil did Montoni’s stay and business before Funky bought out a half-share. The way Tony is portrayed in this strip, he shouldn’t be able allowed to cross the street by himself.

  20. Maybe Montoni’s could start making those pizzas that you could play on your stereo like records (Crazy Harry’s favorite thing to do back in the early days)

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